Good evening, I'm Bob Fitzkaufling, and this is Bob Offenwankar. You join us at the close of what has been a most eventful World Dwarf-Throwing Championship. Bob?
That's right Bob. In an unprecedented move, the dwarves went on strike this morning, and had to be replaced with a barrel full of Rhesus Monkeys.
The first monkey, thrown by world champion H. Kraut, ran off into the woods and was never seen again. Kraut was disqualified as this meant the judges were unable to measure the distance thrown.
The second monkey stayed still upon landing. However it was later discovered to have died upon impact. Challenger M.Khan is now in police custody, charged with animal cruelty.
The event was abandoned after the third monkey decided to attack Norwegian Hans Olsen. Olsen was last seen running around frantically shouting "Get your hands off me you goddamn dirty ape!"
In my opinion, if events like this continue, the reputation of Dwarf Throwing as a serious sport could be ruined.
