Sir, you have some fanmail. It says you are the "Funniest fucking thing I've seen this year".
It's about time I got some fucking recognition. Is it from a girl? It had better be from a fucking girl, I don't want no gay stalkers. I saw what happened to that Versace.
It's signed "Kevin Keegan's Perm". Sounds like a guy.
Sounds like a gay more like. "Oooh you're so funny, can I climb into your fucking pants and let you feel my love truncheon?" Well fuck him. I'm all about the clam!
Do you want me to burn it, sir?
Fuck, no. I want it framed and up on my bedroom wall.
