All comics by kuhlschrank

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by kuhlschrank
11-11-02
There she goes, my one true love...
Farewell, my dove!!
Baaaaaaaaaa!!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-11-02
Elf searched high and low (yes, very low) for a new lover...
A bit too kinky...
Nay I say...
You don't know how tempting this is.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-11-02
Yeah... That's what I'll wear to the costume party.
Thomas began work on his costume right away...
scruffle, scruffle scruffle
At the party...
I'm an avenging angle, are you a retard or something?

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
What my friends think...
Life is bleak, man...
Hey, a zeppelin made of lead wouldn't fly...
I'm depressed...
It must be an analytical approach to the attitude of modern society today to the stereotype of the young man...
What they say...
Elmo hahaha
Omle hahaha

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
Introducing Rim Kim...
The problem with this country today is that we have ignored our heraldic links with Great Britain. For example, the school's crest should always be the thing closest to the top of the page.
This is my home country, Korea. Excuse me for a moment while I get something to eat at that Mc Dognalds.
Oh no!!! It appears the inhabitants are engaging in yet another civil war!!!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
Internet romance...
I'm a hot 17 year old gal with a large cleavage ready to cradle your manhood. I'm wet for you. So... Describe yourself
I spend most of my time ranking my Led Zeppelin CDs. I have a long feminine mullet and I LOVE blowing things (namely my saxophone but I'll try other objects...)
I claim some people I know have sexual relationships with Ms. Tanner to get good marks and accuse others of having crushes on her in order that I may hide my true feelings for her...
Why do you call yourself the "Durantula"?
Um... When do we meet, big boy?

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
Burn, baby, burn!!! Hey, that's alliteration. I'm awesome at English.
Damn, I dropped yet another test tube. I really suck at Chemistry. Maybe if I have sex with my sheep I'll get better grades...
Holy shit, my hair's fallen out.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
The two 'lovers' decide to meet.
Where is she? I'm sure she said 3 o'clock...
What?! Long feminine hair? It's a woman. Damn, looks like I'm not the only one who lies to be cool on the net. Oh I suppose I could try being heterosexual...
I'm waiting...
You must be Tom, an unusual name for a woman. ..........................Oh my god!! Are you some kind of long haired shemale???!!!
You're not a hot girl, are you? My inexperience with the opposite sex makes me unsure.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
Tom began the show...
Oh wait, no wait. He didn't just say what I think he did, did he? And little Elf said... Nothing you idiots he's busy with some sheep in his bed.
Next up was Elf...
Now this looks like the sheep for me. Just hold still while I seep on ye. I'm no townie, I'm from the country. The sheep feel lonely without me.
Closely followed by Rim Kim.
I've been to many pet shops. I've had to evade the cops. But nothing compares to this Mc Dognalds burger and fries.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
And then there was Luke...
I'm sorry Miss Tanner. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry and tonight, I'll try using lubricant.
Good one, Wheaten!!
I picture myself in a bed with a woman but then I realise I really like guys...
This is a take off of the Eminem show not the Beatles, you retard. Although he sings about drugs he doesn't sing about LSD like the song you were taking off.
Besides, Eminem sings 'Cleaning out my closet' not 'Coming out of my closet' hehehe.
Are you? Are you really coming out of the closet?

 

by kuhlschrank
11-12-02
It all falls into place now. I shall have my revenge... I shall pretend to be Tom and destroy his friendships and entire life. He'll pay for what he did to me.
Hopefully my hair is long enough and and girly enough now that no one will be able to tell the difference. All I need to do now is abduct him and find a place to hide him...
Mwuhahahahahahaha

 

by kuhlschrank
11-13-02
We rejoin our villian preparing for the abduction and rape of Proserpina, I mean Thomas... And not rape you sickos.
All I have to do is lure him into an alley and whamm!!!!
But how can I lure him in...
The trap is set. Lucky our villian has a highly trained dog at his disposal.
Woww!!!!!!!!!!! That's awesome. Come here doggy, good doggy. Hey, where you going?
Ah, damn that hurts!!! WTF?
Hey look!! Free food, I mean dog.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-14-02
So our villian begins trying to destroy Tom's life. First of all he tries to fit in as Tom.
Sorry I'm late, Mrs Chang.
Thatsa OK, Tom. Meya jussa telling class how maths isa like sex.
W T F!!!!!!!
First youa subtracta da clothes. Then you adda da girl to your bed, divide her legs, giva her a square root anda hope lika hell she does nota multiply.
I think I'm going to be sick. YOU talking about sex... eeewwww!!!
Wassa wrong Tom? You hava no problem lasta night.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-15-02
The imposter's day continued.
This must be Miss Tanner...
Hey Tom, thanks for last night. I'm not gonna be able to move you up to 2nd in chemistry, Mr. Sharp has control over that.
Tom is sicker than I thought.
Now I don't mind if you want to go with him. After all, me going at it with Luke isn't exactly faithful
Hey where are you going, Tom? It's me Mrs McLean, I just wanted to say thanks for last night. By the way, you've come first in English!!
This is just too gross

 

by kuhlschrank
11-15-02
Later that day...
Hey Tom, wassup? Elmo!! Elmo ate a chicken!!
What is wrong with you, you long haired hippie?
Are you? Are you a long haired hippie?
Hey Tub-tubs, you waddle like a penguin!!
Now I feel stink. There's something different about Tom today. He never usually mocks me to my face...

 

by kuhlschrank
11-18-02
Elf pays an unexpected visit.
What the hell are you doing at my house? Get out of here you dirty pot smoking hippie!!
Whoa, man!! Calm it down. Yuo promised you'd come with me to SFA, sheep fuckers anonymous. Yuo can't go back on our 'special' pinky promise.
I need to play along or he'll become suspicious...
Later at the SFA meeting...
What the fuck are you doing here?! Um.... I wasn't here, you can't prove it!!!!!!!!!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-18-02
Unlikely partners, unlikely heroes.
Yes, I think you're right!! Tom must have been abducted by aliens -hence the 'led zeppelin' is actually a flying saucer made of lead. Eureka!! I solved a crime!!
Cheeseburgers look like flying saucers. I can also play this cheeseburger so it sounds like a spacecraft.
All we need to do now is trick the imposter and pull off his mask. I'm betting it'll be Elmo.
Mmmmmm cheeseburger.
I'm glad were friends now. I've discovered we have so much in common.
Yeah, I never would have thought I'd be able to share my farmboy passion for sheep with anybody.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-18-02
The trap is set...
Hey Tom, you wanna go get stoned then go to a guy bar and pick up some 56 year old men?
No, why would I want to do that? I couldn't think of anything more disgusting!!
AHA!! You're not the real Tom. That's his favourite pass time.
But -what? Look over there!!
The chase begins!!
Hey come back!! Elmo, I need to remove your mask!! Stop him Wheaten!!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-19-02
Meanwhile...
I'm going to the pet shop!! La da da daaaa!! Going get my dinner!! La da la da la. Hey, come back here doggy!!
Another chase begins...
Stop, I'm hungry!! Dogs are meant to let me eat them. My mummy thinks I'm cool...
I'm starting to agree with Winston Peters. This shit happens too often.
Oh no!! Watch out!! Fake-Tom is coming from the other direction... WATCH OUT!!
I wonder if that boy tastes like dog...
I wonder if that girl is actually a man... Na, probably not. 50 Swedish doctors couldn't make that a man.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-19-02
Collision!! Get that pencil out of here...
And the criminal is...
Osama bin Laden? You kidnapped Tom?
And I would have got away with it if it wasn't for you medelling kids!!
Your coming with us. Show us where you hid Tom or I'll have to sit on you!!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-20-02
Not a moment too soon our heroes (as in the type you get at the hero parade) freed Tom.
Click click buzz whirrr...
So it turns out that Osama kidnapped you. Why would he do that?
Hey, this is just another poor disguise, the true villian is...
-=THE END=-
This innocent looking grandma?

 

by kuhlschrank
11-20-02
It turns out that that was not the end. One the way to the nearest canyon, where the gang planned to push the old lady in, she tripped over and was revealed to be...
Jesus?!
And then...
Where he go? There he is, down there! It's Thomas Pohl!
And after the removal of another mask...
Interfectus? But why?

 

by kuhlschrank
11-20-02
Interfectus is about to give his explanation for why he attempted this horrible crime...
You is all probably wondering why I do such a thing.
Ya'll see, Tom was a very good customer of mine. All of a sudden, he stopped coming to my 'shop'.
I does a little undercover work and I finds he is getting it free at school. I is especially made to see 'im with dat Tanner bitch, she yousta be a popular asset.
Soon I is losing lotsa dough. I has to rectify the problem by screwing (get da pun as I is a pimp) up 'is life so 'e'd haf to come back to me.
-=THE END=- (really)
Here's what I'll do for compo -free night for everyone at da 'Interfectus inn'. Sorry Elfie and Wheaten, I gots no sheep.
That is alright, kind sir. Master Wheaten and I have already planned a weekend at my farm. Our train leaves in 15 minutes. Bye everyone!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-21-02
Dunne meets Amber.
Ahhh. So this is Elfie's girlfriend...
Hi, I'm Amber.
You sheep clean up pretty good, don't you? What a minute, sheep don't talk!!
SLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arghhhhhh!! That really hurt!!
Arsehole...

 

by kuhlschrank
11-21-02
Dunne meets Julia.
Hi, I'm Dunne.
I'm Julia.
So you're the fat girl that Elf is always talking about...
Grrrrrrr (frothing at mouth etc)
SLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arghhhhh!! Why does this keep happening?
Fuckwit.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-21-02
Dunne meets Angie.
Hello, what's your name?
I'm Angie.
Not the same Angie that's friends with Elf?
Yeah, that's correct. I'm one of Elfie's Angels.
Please don't hurt me!! I didn't mean to offend the Elfie's Angels! My face still stings from the attacks of your brethren. Please just leave me alone (sob)
O-kay... And this guy is meant to be violent? Right...

 

by kuhlschrank
11-23-02
Dunne listens to his Rammstein music.
Sie ist ein Model und sie sieht gut aus!!
She is a model and she looks good? What the... Those lyrics suck... hard... hard cock... like a vacuum cleaner.
Sie wird so kool und sie kommt niemand daran.
But it is in German, therefore it must equal awesome.
Visit my website (it has a link on the left)!!
SIE IST EIN MODEL UND SIE SIEHT GUT AUS!!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-23-02
By day he is an almost normal person...
Ich will kein Engel sein!
But by night he is known throughout the land as Super Person!!
Wearing your underwear on the outside; that's not very lady-like...
I'm not a lady...

 

by kuhlschrank
11-24-02
This giant flag that I put up should appease my new god, Rammstein!!
I don't want to ruin yuor fun but that's the Belgian flag...

 

by kuhlschrank
11-24-02
I have finally caught you, evil doer. Today pimp Interfectus goes to jail!!
I do not approve of the way you use women. It is very degrading.
If one of da ladies gives you a quickie, be I let off?
Sure!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-24-02
Halt, evil doer!! In this country bestiallity is a crime.
BAAAAAAA...
And if you don't like it, there's a perfectly good country across the Tasman that allows your type of fetish.
Sorry sir...
You have a visitor, Mr. Elf
Baaaaa.

 

by kuhlschrank
11-25-02
Well if it isn't Super Person... You imprisoned our master.
You exposed his sinful secret bringing him shame.
Now you're gonna pay!!
Pay? But Interfectus said that it was on the house. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Not the groin!! Arghhhhhh!!

 

by kuhlschrank
11-27-02
Stupid Christmas...
Bah humbug, Satan, I mean Santa. Damn my dyslexia!!
Hey, a sheep!! BAAAAAAAAH humbug!!!! BAAAAAAA!!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! (that's sheep speak for 'RUN!!')

 

by kuhlschrank
11-27-02
Interrupted from his study, Dunne answers the ringing phone...
Hello, this is Mr. Corliss
Argh!! How did he get my number? He's probably on his way to come and rape me now!!
I'm just ringing to inform you that, and I congratulate you on it, you've come first in Year 11.................................................

 

by kuhlschrank
11-27-02
................................
What the hell? What happened to Thomas.
...............................
I suppose he must have died. Oh well, his loss is my gain...
What a let down...
.....................German.
Fuck you, Mr. Corliss...

 

by kuhlschrank
12-16-02
Vortex...
Yep...

 

by kuhlschrank
12-19-02
This is an introduction into the mind of Cheaten Wheeten. Observe how Rim Kim is minding his own business.
I'm just minding my own business.
Notice how there is no motivation for this attack from the rear.
ARE YOU?! DID YOU?! REALLY?!
My glasses! Where are my glasses?
It's... ironical! Rim Kim is all, like crawling like a dog, dude!
...if I were an elephant I'd STAMP STAMP STAMP!!!!!!

 

by kuhlschrank
3-28-03
One day in the Latin period...
I'm Mr. T and I pity the foo who don't know what misanthrapy means!! Who gonna tell Mr T. what it means?! Somang?
A misanthrapist is someone who hates people or something.
Haaaahahahahahahahaha ahaha hahah!!
What so funny, jar-foo?!
Iss dat da Tom guy used to be chillin' it in a chatroom called dat.
Really? Oh dear! I never have thought of Tom as that kind of person -into hating people. The foo!!!

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