So, Mr. Rush Chairman, why should I consider Kappa Kappa Phi?
Well, first off, there's the parties. The sorority chicks are super hot, and there's so much booze that you could talk to God on the porcelain telephone every weekend.
I'm not really much of a drinker, and besides, doesn't that much partying impact your classwork?
Hell no! We have a library of term papers on everything from "Comets and the Mass Extinction of the Dinosaurs" to "The Effect of the Femidom on Gender Bias." What's your major, anyway?
Biology, with a specialization in Cornhology.
Hmm. Seems like every guy I've met studying that ends up pledging Alpha Rho Sigma. Kinda quiet guys, but they've got a great intramural wrestling team.
