All comics by mitigating_factor

 

Hey Red Robot, isn't it great to be out here away from the unfunny control of R. Stevens and finally put to decent use?
YES. R STEVENS IS NOT A FUNNY PERSON
HO HO
MY WIT IS EXTREME IN ITS VITRIOL

 
Ok, there! It's all the way in

 

Welcome to the United States of America, Mr. Claus, and merry Christmas. I'll just have to ask you a few questions before you can proceed. First, do you have anything to declare?
HO HO, why yes of course! I must declare the Greatness of Allah, and the surety of His Wrath and the coming destruction of this kingdom of infidels. So says the Prophet Muhammed, peace be upon him!

 

Welcome to the United States of America, Mr. Claus, and merry Christmas. I'll just have to ask you a few questions before you can proceed. First, do you have anything to declare?
HO HO HO, yes very much so. HO HO, I am looking forward to bringing these many gifts to all the good little boys and girls in the country tonight. HO HO HO!
HO HO HO, this fine hollowed out Nintendo DS filled with heroin is...FOR YOU, MY BOY?! ...ho ho?

 

Welcome to the United States of America, Mr. Claus, and merry Christmas. I'll just have to ask you a few questions before you can proceed. First, do you have anything to declare?
HO HO HO! Of course! A bag full of toys to make Christmas wishes come true, as always! HO HO!
Kind of a light haul this year, isn't it, Santa? Usually you have twice as many toys as this. What happened? Just a busy year?
HO HO, yes, but my elves have been working as best they can under the circumstances. So many new toys this year and so many children to make happy!
TAIWAN, 3 WEEKS EARLIER
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "THEY'RE ALL DEAD"?

 

Listen, I don't care what you say. Kevin Smith's ponderous pacing and lack of camera movement adds focus and meaning to his films.
Haven't you ever seen a Japanese film? There's often NO camera movement, and it lends their films a thoughtfulness and depth that American ones so often lack.
Dude
Japanese people don't have any hands

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