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| Hello friends, and welcome to my show. | |
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| Today I am going to read a letter from one of our viewers. | |
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| "Dear Some Guy, I am having an issue. Every time I watch your show I get the insatiable desire to vomit all over my spaghetti, then eat it. What should I do? | |
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| Well, the answer to this question is simple. You're just going to have to eat your spaghetti covered in your own vomit to be truly happy. | |
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| Consider yourself lucky, I need to drive nails into my brain in order to find joy. | |
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