I'm John Kerry, and as president i vow to kill just as many arabs as george bush to win over moderate voters--shit, i wasn't supposed to read that part.
And I'm his running mate, a farm chicken with humble roots from a John Mellancamp song!
JOHN KERRY: HE'S OKAY WITH WAR AND REDNECKS. NOT GAYS AND ADVOCATES FOR THE LEGALIZATION OF WEED. SERIOUSLY. THAT WEIRD BALD DUDE IS JUST UM... ON AN UNDERCOVER MISSION TO BUST SODOMITES IN TEXAS
*click*
Um, George, i suggest we appeal to the left more in order to counteract John Kerry's hawkish demeanor.
Dammit Dick, i'm already wearing an african tribal mask to convince voters i'm down with brown. What else do i gotta do to win the Nader vote? Suck your cold metallic wang?
