poq  

What a night... such callous fanmail... guess I'll just have to resort to smoking profusely.

I object to your mockery of me! I, _insert_name_here_, am a well-respected individual with a well-developed sense of humor!

Dude, you're reading from a slip of paper, even neglecting to fill your name in the blank. Come up with something original.

J00 r teh sux.