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| Hey, get out of here. -I'M- the real Jesus, folks. Worship me. Pray to me. | |
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| NO! He's the false Jesus! -I- am the real Jesus. I am your light and pathway to my Father's kingdom! | |
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| Oh please...you don't even know how to get there. Look folks, I died for your sins...I came back from death and all that... -I- am the real Jesus!! | |
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| If you're the real Jesus then perhaps you'd tell us what birthmark Jesus has on his left buttock!! | |
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| It's a small mark that looks like a cup. | |
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| HA! WRONG!! It was a trick question. The real Jesus doesn't HAVE a birthmark!! Fool!! | |
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