quodlibet  

Mom, if my anus is bleeding, will I need to go on the birth control pill?

Um, why, no, dear.

Oh, okay. By the way, Mom, Mikey the hamster's in the toilet. Can you get him out?

Mikey? I wondered where he'd gone. How did he get in there?

Don't worry, Mom, he didn't drown. And I won't be hatching hamsters out my bum, either. Mikey didn't have time to go all the way.