quodlibet  

Dear Santa, I really have been very good this year. You can verify this with my mother and Gandalf, the idiot warden at the day-prison otherwise known as school.

I have tallied only sixty after-school detentions, four suspensions, sixteen visits to the infirmary, twenty-nine calls home, and three suspensions.

Even my psychiatrist thinks I'm getting better, mainly because she's a ditz and I'm smarter than her. As you can tell, this is an obvious improvement over the previous two years. Yours sincerely.