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| There used to be this old man who told stories to children. The old man told them about dragons and kings and such. The children urinated with delight whenever they heard the old man's stories. | |
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| But one day a fat kid named Robert wanted to hear a story about vampires. The old man agreed and tolf one about a vampire who went crazy and drank everyone's eye juice. | |
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| The kids were so scared that they started to beat themselves with whatever objects they could obtain. | |
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| The old man, having scared himself also, beat his own ass in an attempt to drain the fear out of his butt. | |
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| The story soon spread all around the town, then all the towns people blew up because the story freaked them out so badly. | |
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| (This story was so good that my grandma slapped with with a piece of processed meat) | |
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