rug  

I'm looking for a holiday thing-

Well over here we have robotic santas in production. They're so efficient that once Christmas ends, they realize their loss of purpose and self-destruct.

Actually I was looking for-

Now we have the giant glowing red tree ornament from Fisher-Price. The glow is so strong you can feel your pupils burning from the inside. In fact it scorched everything in a 500 feet radius.

Buddy, I just want a menorah!

Menorah? I'm sorry sir, we don't sell Kwanza products here.