somnambulist  

I know you were shocked when you saw my Facebook status update, but yes, I really do have a real life girlfriend now. It caught me off-guard, too!

I'm happy for you. Besides, I kind of wanted us to start listening to other people complain, anyway, so this works out great!

I just have one tiny problem, though. See, I've got all this great new material based on the times we've been out...

So, what's the problem with that? I say go for it! She had no idea what this site was, so it's not like she'll know you're mining your relationship for lowball comedy.

Well, yeah... but what do I do about my fictional comic girlfriend? I feel all dirty. And the real one is nothing like my "ideal fantasy" that Allison is.

So, wait, you are worried about how you're treating a fictional character? Hon... you really need to get out more. But maybe you could use Jon as a stand-in?