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| Hi there. I just got my bill, and I need to appeal my financial aid. Can you help me? | |
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| Sure. Just fill out these forms in triplicate, and we'll need your driver's license, your last pay stub, your bank statements, and your first-born child. | |
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| Ok, here you go. I filled out all your ridiculous forms, photocopied my wallet, and signed over Billy to you. Now can you help me? | |
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| Well, even though you got unemployment, and that in no way reflects the fact that you are broke, we can't help you. In fact, I'm going to charge you for just talking to you. | |
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| Then what the hell am I going to do now? You raise the price of tuition, cancel classes, shorten my financial aid, and then expect to pay when i'm obviously broke? What am I supposed to do? | |
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| You know, I have no idea. Nor do I care. My only advice is to quit school, and go back to work. Of course, you could always become a pimp. I hear they make the mad bling, yo. | |
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