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| Welcome to an all new Daily Show With Steven Colbert. I'm John Stewert, and tonight we have special guest- wait- just a moment- I'm receiving confirmation that we are going to report actual news! | |
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| This is a first time for the Daily Show! We usually just have some stupid celebrity come in and get pissed off at me, but actual news! Wow! And so, without further ado, tonight's word! | |
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| Oh wait, that's Steven Colbert's bit. So what do I do? Uhhh... Iraq sucks and stuff! (Goddammit how am I gonna keep this up for half an hour? How does CNN do it?) | |
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