All comics by what_the_krevice

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From my head, asshole
Holy shit, where'd I come from?
Who said that?
I feel dirty now..
Some dumbass who was allowed a password

 

So I have a question
I don't want to hear it
What exactly are you?
I said, I don't want to hear it asshole
Look, I just wanted to know!
Fuck, where's the guy with the hammer?

 

So I guess I ought to have a name then
How about "Shit for Brains"?
*whisper whisper*
Something that sparks fear into the minds of readers....
WHAT?!
Ha ha, you're name is Pervis

 

So who was that asian chick last time?
I think our author is a bit new at this comic thing..
*scribble scribble*
Now this is asking for a lawsuit
My anus is bleeding

 

So Pervis is off changing back into himself...
My name is Huzzah. I'm a combonation of a drop of water and a pubic hair
*whisper* I also like to burn things..
WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY CLOTHES?!

 

So Huzzah's going to try to paint me as some fag, don't let him fool you
....
It's funny how you expect them to believe that
...I'll rape you in your sleep
Wouldn't be a first...

 

Pervis is trying to sneak up on me...
So I set up a trap...
Eat that, ass goblin
AHHHHHH IT BURNS IT BURNS!

 

So my lil acid prank went a lil too far. I ought to do something for poor Pervis
uhnngg...aahhhh
That was uncalled for
Lick my proverbial nutsack
That was uncalled for

 

So my lil acid prank went a lil too far. I ought to do something for poor Pervis
uhnngg...aahhhh
Lick my proverbial nutsack
That was uncalled for

 

You know that really was a dick thing to do
He's right..but now what
I demand an apolgy from you
Oh sheesh, fine, might as well get it over with
Is that even possible?
FINE! CHRIST! RAPE ME AND GET IT OVER WITH!

 

music...music..
....
....
music...music..
....
....
We looked like some stupid dance number in a pop music video
No, you did. I was graceful and innovative

 

So we're stuck in this big city
Since ther are no other big cities, it must be New York
So if we're in New York, what do we do?
...this is too easy...
*BANG...THUD*
*grooooooaaaaaan*
Funny, you seem surprised...

 

Heeelllpp....
So Pervis is on the ground bleeding...
meeeeee....
Guess there's only one thing left for me to do...
*grooooan*
Unnhgggg...

 

Shut up...
So how's the bullet wound?
Fuck you
I don't see the problem...
.....true
You'd have done the same thing to me...

 

So how come there are only two of us? And we can only do so few things? Seriously, this blows..
Oh Christ...you dumbass, now we're both fucked...
*scribble scribble*
I HATE AMERICA!
GO SADDAM!

 

.....
So dipshit here got us thrown in jail for allegedly supporting terrorists
I've learned not to insult our creators
But it could be worse...
Meanwhile...
Where's the milk, honey and virgins?
....Allah?....mommy?

 

It's good to be out of prison
Yeah, who knew your ass-rape addiction could prove so useful?
.....
.....
You're why I can't get a date
I thought it was your shriveled penis

 

Hey there...wanna screw?
....okay...
I decided that Pervis needed to get laid, so I forked up some dough
ooo yeah..wait what the hell?
...what you expected there to NOT be a catch?
AHHH!...MY VIRGIN ASS!

 

.....
....
.....
Chix with dix
..bastard
You blinked, I win

 

So, Huzzah, I have question
And I have an answer
So far you've managed to shoot me, dump acid on me, burn my clothes, farted on me, get me ass fucked by a trans-sexual Vietnamese whore...
Correction, I farted on you twice
Why?
Would you believe me if I said it was out of love?

 

It's time for: "ASK HUZZAH!"
So, Berlin is in Germany right?
......
No, I'm not...
You're shitting me right?
....lean over here so I can slap you

 

Based on a true story
I hate you
So I know we broke up
What part of "I hate you" can't you figure out?
Wanna hang out sometime?
I'm going to run you over with my truck..
Great, pick me up at 7:00

 

I agree
Your war is illegal!
I know, we should use the U.N. to help you when you need it
We want liberation, but not by you!
Allah says no. Bless you my son
...you're not really infidels are you?

 

So Pervis has been listening to rap music again
I can't be that annoying..can it?
"GO SHAWTY ISSA BIRTHDAY"!!!!
Homicide is my only option now

 

I'm leaving...for good this time.
Was it something I said?
Well...the acid incident was bad enough...
What IS he staring at?
I just can't look at you the same way.
Why do I get the feeling I should be guarding my ass?

 

I'm serious you mistreat me...
Why did he just lick his lips at me?
...and you abuse me
Oh god he's got that look in his eye
Oh god he's got that look in his eye...
mmm...that'd be nice...

 

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!
What? YOU were the one mentally undressing ME!
No way, man. You were mentally screwing me in the ass, you sick puppy!
...
Imagine what he could do with those little antennae things...
I bet he works out...

 

You know, we've really been focused on gay sex
True, but it was mostly you
Regardless, we've forgotten about the important things
Like what?
Clog dancing?
...your mother never heard of abortion, huh?

 

The Joys of Modern Living...
Besides, I doubt any sort of relationship between you and I would count as gay sex...
And why exactly is that?
Well, I don't doubt your masculinity, but...are you even human?
...that's low.
I'm sorry! I was just asking!
What's the world coming to when a blue, antennaed apparition and a bleach-blonde, crack-addicted gay man cannot have a fulfilling sexual relationship?! END THE HATE AND FUCK ME!

 

Aside from the laws of phyics?
Okay, I know what's stopping us from having a sexual relationship
*Talk Show Shock Music*
....you're what?
*sigh*....I'm your father
How is that even....
She was goooooood too!

 

I guess this explains a few things...
Such as?
Well, my lack of desire for the opposite sex.
How's that?
Well, my only male role model was a piece of hairy, blue shit... And my mother was such a slut she screwed that hairy piece of blue shit.
Well, for disrespecting me I have the right, as your father, to punish you... Now bend over.

 

...I'm actually intrigued
I've got a bet for you. We'll take a DNA test..
...and?
If you're right, I'll suck your dick, if I'm right, you have to admit you're gay.
Wouldn't you sucking my dick prove I'm gay anyways?
He's a bit quicker than I expected...

 

Seriously...if you're my father why haven't you told me before?
I really didn't think it would be that big of a deal to you.
YOU DIDN'T THINK THE ORIGIN OF MY CONCEPTION WAS A BIG DEAL TO ME?!
Hell...I dunno who MY father was.
...
The Grandfather Paradox is NOT a legitimate theory, dickweed. But if it was...Yup, I'd tap dat.

 

so what does it say?
The results are in. Apparently I'm the father and your mom is actually a wood duck. So admit it
Okay..fine I admit it, I'm...
YOU'RE?!?!
*STAB STAB THUD*
Grooooaaaan...
What...you didn't think I was gonna let him say it, did you? That'd kill half my material!

 

The Truth Revealed
I can't believe it's true!
...neither can I. What a crock.
But you were there...we did the DNA testing!
You didn't find anything a bit odd about that?
Well, I admit...his methods WERE a bit unorthadox...
Yes...most REAL scientists don't hand you their results on a soiled cocktail napkin.

 

So lemme get this straight...
Oh fuck...
You..lied to me...faked a DNA test and stabbed me
Yeah pretty much...
So who was the scientist?
Remember the wood duck I mentioned?

 

Huzzah! Dude, where are you? I want you to meet a friend of mine!
Dude, this is your place? It's like a frikkin' mansion, man...
This costume chafes a bit...
Stay right there, my little heroic hunk of he-man...I gotta take care of something
What were you doing in there?
A well-placed kick to his temple and I could have a third for my little "party."

 

I'm sure all you people out there are thinking this strip is nothing but gay jokes..
I bet you also think I'm gay. Well here, to prove you all wrong....
C'mere big boy. Ride me like a pony...
RODEO TIME! YEEEE-HAAAAAW!

 

Like my friend Huzzah has already made reference to, we think our loyal readers are tired of the gay jokes.
Now...I think part of my obsession with sex-related jokes may be the excessive amount of porn I download.
...well, shit...

 

So have you been watching the news
You mean Iraq?
Yeah, have you seen the bombings?
They leved a whole city block with your Computer Porn Bomb
Real....I fuckin hate you
Zing, motherfucker!

 

I'm headed out.
All right. Love ya, man. See ya later.
What'd you just say?
...what? I meant a fraternal love! A brotherly bond!
Didn't your brother molest you on your ninth birthday?
Well, kinda...isn't molestation supposed to be unwarranted and uninvited?

 

Huzzah goes clubbin'
Hey there cutie
Oh yeah, baby, let's dance!
Mind if I cut in?
GET...THE FUCK...AWAY...FROM ME!
....well shit
I would give in to you, but it'd only perpetuate your homo-erotic rapist tendencies..

 

Hey there, cutie!
Hey baby, let's dance!
Mind if I cut in?
Well, I'm not normally gay, but...hey, do you work out?
Behold the power of "P."
What?! I'm not gay! I just wanted to dance!
Mind if I take you for a testdrive, sweetpea?

 

Later...
...and then I came home
So it turns out you can covert people to homosexuality, but stay straight yourself?
Yeah
I'M GONE!
Oh fuck...
well that su....Oh, hey there readers

 

Huzzah? Huzzah, are you out here?
Well, hello there.
Later...
I'm sorry hunny...I just don't find you sexually attractive anymore!
And why is that?! Huh?! What's so different now?!
Earlier...
Have you seen a little blue shit about yay-high with some sort of antennae fixed to his head ranting about homosexual conversion incantations?
Are you TRYING to turn me on, studmuffin?

 

Listen there's something I've got to explain to you...
I'm all ears, you big hunka man, you!
I'm not gay! I'm just looking for a friend of mine that's disappeared!
Mmmhm..I hear that!
Goddamnit, lemme alone!
Oh, I could so see me ridin that.. mm!

 

Hi there.
Huzzah, are you in here?
Huzzah...hmm...sounds sexy.
Have you seen a blue fella named Huzzah?
My anus is bleeding. Does that help?
Indeed...he has been here.

 

Oh jesus, how did I end up here?
Maybe you took a wrong turn at Albuquerque?
Oh my fucking christ, BUGS BUNNY?!?!
OH GOD! DON'T TELL ANYONE HOW I LIVE!
I've got this friend Pervis...
...I'm listening

 

Oh no, not you too! Where are all the NORMAL people?!
Pervis, eh? Sounds sexy...
...play?
Hi...want to play?
I think I'd be happier gay...
Play Onimusha. I am teh ub3r-1337 g4m3r!

 

Pervis searches on, with a train following him
Just gimme one grenade..or a machine gun..
mmm yaaaahooo...
He'll love me, or I stab myself
click tiiky tiiky waaaankt BOING
Mmm..I'd take his nuts any day!
Patience..just wait..then SLAUGHTER THEM ALL!

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