Oh golly, Lord. I haven't been much of a prayin' man, and not much of a good christian for that matter, but I really could use some help with my daughter Jenna. If only you --
*POOF* ...You rang, dubya?
Wow. I never pictured God to look like this! Why, you're a downright cute little fella! Heh heh!
You could not gaze upon my true form without going insane, so I have appeared in a form that you can more easily handle. Apparently, for you that means I look like a dog on a ball. Go figure.
Well, that's fantastible! So anyway, about Jenna, we caught her drinkin' again! What should I do?
It's worse than just drinking. She's currently all stripped down and getting fisted by Ted Kennedy while snorting lines off of Geraldo Rivera's chest. You should've started praying earlier...
