All comics by xoZeromyHerox

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by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
Meet Zero, your hero. Hey, that's me!
My name is Zero. Welcome to my comically exaggerated but still somewhat true to life comic strip.
Behind me, that's Bliss Hall...the scene of our storylines (mostly). So sit back, relax, and enjoy!
And now, "Blissfully Oblivious"
why me?

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
Slacking off at work is something that Zero couldn't help but do. He was working at The "Shoe Dept" one day when a little old lady came in...
I wonder where I could have put that fucking hamster.
Excuse me, deary...?
Too bad that old lady turned out to be Satan...
This is the Shoe Dept. We have several soles.
Give me your soul!!! *maniacal, satanic laughter*
Luckily for Zero, Satan was one impatient mofo.
My my.this IS a dilemma.
Oh forget it...

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
Here we meet Zero's room mate and the anti-hero, Hunter.
Where did I leave it?!
Uh, Z?
Zero's kind...compassionate...
Jesus Tap-dancing Christ on the cross...where IS that letter opener?
Zero?
persistent prick of a roommate...
Yeah, Hunter?
Could you PLEASE get the FUCK out of the bathroom? I have to go!!!!

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
Late one night...
Hey Hunter?
Yes, Zero?
I can't sleep.
What's wrong? Was it that nightmare with the giant chicken and the sheepdog again?
No, actually. it was the one where I walk in on your mother-
Zero, have I told you how i grow to despise you deeper by the minute?

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
"Dear Zero, I regret to inform you that the apocalypse will occur in approximately 2 years..."
Wow...that sort of sucks.
"The good news is, you will somehow miraculously survive..."
Well, that's reassuring.
"The bad news is, this letter has been lost in the postal system for about 2 years now. Good luck..." Signed, God
Man, even God can't beat the damned postal service...*sigh*

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
"Mr. Play it Safe was afraid to fly...he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye..."
You know that Alanis Morrisette song..."Ironic?"
Yes, but what made you think about it just now?
"He waited his whole damned life, to take this flight...
I'm afraid to fly...I waited my whole life for this...and now...we're going to die.
Oh...
"...and as the plane crashed down he thought..."
Well isn't this nice?

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
How the world was really formed...
Well, here we are...Earth...*shudder*
Yes well, you go look for intelligent life...and I'll plant the flag...
I claim this planet in the name of "CATHOLICISM"!!
There, now that we've claimed the planet, let's work on enslaving its people!!!
Wait, does that include the atheists?

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
Welcome. You've got VD.
Hmmm...I wonder where that could have possibly come from...I'm drawing a blank here...
Remember the company picnic last week? It was Debbie from Accounting.
VD....VD...?
You just don't get it, do you?

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
"So a dog walks into a bar..."
"And the bartender says..."
...
The beauty of racist joke books
101 Best Bar Jokes...good book
Hey, I'd prefer it if you kept your racist jokes to yourself!

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
Zero's boss at Shoe Dept, Mr. Myers, was rather displeased with his employee's skills level.
Zero...we need to talk. Why have you been slacking off at work as of late?
You mean to tell me that you have no idea why you're a slacker?
Hold on a sec, boss. I can think up something better than that.
I'm sorry, but we're going to have to give you the axe...
Wouldn't a simple pink slip like this one do?

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-08-05
So Zero looked for a new job.
Like,Welcome to Starbucks, Daddy-O...How may I help you?
This says you guys are hiring...
Like, Yeah, we're always hiring hep cats with hip style.
Uh...hep?
Like,don't ruin it for me, dude.
...

 

by xoZeromyHerox
5-25-05
Zero goes for an interview with Milton-Bradley
You don't exactly...fit the prototype of the rest of our employees here at Milton-Bradley...
I like to think of myself as...unconventional...
I really don't think you'd do to work here at Milton-Bradley. You're just not...well, your resume sort of...sucked.
Yeah, I really wasn't sure what I was supposed to answer for question number 12 here...
"Which of the following products is a game of whodunnit mystery fun: Clue, Scrabble or Candy Land?"...you said "Scrabble"!?!
Damn! I KNEW it was Candy Land!!

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