All comics by zaphodb_12

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by zaphodb_12
1-13-03
DISTENDED BALLET IN THREE PARTS:
Notice, y'all, SLEEP is unnecessary for tHE hAND!
Yes, but the hammer needs the nail.
I'll (Ezra) Pound it into submission.
He's hitting the nail on the HEAD!
Well, MORPHEUS will not come. I will HAMMER 'til HADES HEEDS!
Maybe I DO need a NAP.

 

by zaphodb_12
1-13-03
Father, why has't thou forsaken me?
The eyes of the sinning onlookers pierce me greater than Roman spears.
INRI
who's next?

 

by zaphodb_12
1-14-03
Attention all units! We have reports of major plot holes!
Christgau Motors: "We Rate Your Wrecks!"
Now I'm wondering, WWJDD? What Would JOE DON Do?

 

by zaphodb_12
1-14-03
Hey, Rudy, who's got your tail?
Hey, Ocho, who's got your legs?
Unfortunately, nobody's got my goat!

 

by zaphodb_12
1-15-03
s'up?
nu'much--just found this site called stripcreator.com
apparently, you can create your own comics and show off your funny bone.
of course, like most of the internet, people resort to posting curses, sex stories, and violence. (sigh) it's disgusting.
yeah, why can't people use the 'net for GOOD?
dont' worry, friend, i'm on the way to naked_tatooed_tied-up_monkeysluts_with_knives.com !

 

by zaphodb_12
1-16-03
Did you hear they discovered a new BLACK HOLE?
The collective IQ of people who watch that "Joe Millionaire" show?
Good answer, but wrong.
Bono's ego?
Almost...
I've got it--the latest Madonna movie.

 

by zaphodb_12
1-16-03
January 8, 2003
"Well, it's Elvis' Birthday again. If THE KING were alive today, he'd be 68!"
April 8, 2003
"Well, only seven more days to file your TAXES. Don't mess with the IRS!"
July 8, 2003
"Well, we hope everyone had a safe 4th of--HEY, SHITWADS, TAKE DOWN YOUR FUCKIN' CHRISTMAS TREE!"

 

by zaphodb_12
1-21-03
Yar, we have taken "Chucky" Gruden hostage. He has revealed all your secrets.
So, your tremendous O will be no match for our tenacious D. Ya-har.
Dumbass.

 

by zaphodb_12
1-21-03
Hey, howyadoin? Great. It's good to be here. I just flew in from San Diego, and boy are my EARS TIRED!
And what's the deal with those LIONS? I mean, we've all seen the Discovery channel. Why don't they just call them LYINS--as in LYIN' around all the time?
You've been a great herd. Thanks a lot. I'll never forget you guys--HELL, I can't. I'm an ELEPHANT!

 

by zaphodb_12
1-28-03
Hey, sexy, you waiting for a bad girl or a-nus one?
*giggle* She said, "Anus." *snirk* What's my line, again? *chortle*
Just don't tell Steven Speilberg, okay?
Why would I share the hemodynamics of my rectum with anyone?
I swear I won't ride you as hard this time, Horace.
Thanks, Roland, but my anus is still...itching?

 

by zaphodb_12
1-28-03
yo, beeyatch, bow to mine crazy syntacks!!!
i am slut--crazy for the cornholings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
punishing y00r p3n1s!
KAO-KHAN bloking x power 12. then i will D, D, x, o, [], U, L^ on yo ass!
i throw SALIVA on you're SLIPKNOT ~^~
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!

 

by zaphodb_12
2-20-03
"A-B-C...easy as...1-2-3"
I wonder what Tatum is doing tonight?
"Wanna be starting something, wanna be starting something"
I wonder if the elephant man was as sad as I am?
"Doesn't matter if you're black or white"
Where's the bleach?

 

by zaphodb_12
2-20-03
Sheesh! I thought I'd never lose those wacked-out kids.
I don't think they'll find me here.
I just can't figure all the sudden fuss over Dragon BallZ.

 

by zaphodb_12
3-07-03
Parts of me are soft and chewy;
other parts are warm and gooey;
on the outside, supple skin;
watch out for the bones within;
it's MY body--leave me be
unless you have five dollah, see?

 

by zaphodb_12
3-07-03
Hey, baby, I don't see you around stripcreator much.
That's because I'm ugly...and BLACK.
Nah, baby, you're a fine nubian princess. We're being kept down by THE MAN.
Yeah, I'd complain, but HE only gave us TWO panels.

 

by zaphodb_12
3-25-03
Welcome to the nth annaul stripcreator.com utility-knife dinner banquet benefit ceremony awards presentation!
Yes, it's the SUKDBBCAP, and, once again, we are your default hostesses.
Due to a dearth of PayPal donations, we were not able to afford a decent background--let alone the red carpet, the limos, the microphones...
Hell, we don't even have any envelopes!
Still, the winners will receive our everlasting love and affection* [love and affection given only in exchange for $5].
And now...the nominees for Best Use of Tobor in a Non-Cornholing Role!

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