If you could build a house anywhere at all, where would it be?
Ibiza, probably. Or somewhere in Spain or its islands. I would love to run a huge hotel/bar with a massive house built onto the side.
Do you have a favourite item or set of clothing? If so, what?
Probably my tin. Although I have at-the-moment given up smoking, I always carry my tin with me. It's a comforting thought that no matter how shitty my day gets and no matter what happens to me, I can have a joint at any time.
Which physical feature are you most attracted to in the opposite sex?
I am, and always have been, an ass man.
What was the last CD you bought?
Sparklehorse - "It's a Wonderful Life"
Where is your favourite place to be?
In my garden on a clear night, having a smoke and looking at the stars on my own.
Where is your least favourite place to be?
In my bed the morning after a night I can't remember.
Which part of your body do you most enjoy being massaged?
My neck and shoulders, I have a trapped nerve there, which sucks complete ass.
What time to you typically wake up in the morning?
My sleep pattern is completely shit, I wake up when I'm done sleeping.
What is your favourite TV show?
Wow, what a question. I mean, you're not even asking "favourite comedy program" or anything, just, favourite TV show EVER? I mean, wow. I'd have to say Monty Python's Flying Circus, I guess.
What makes you laugh?
I laugh at a lot of things, I generally only watch comedy shows on TV and (used to) smoke a lot of weed, which generates a lot of giggling. For me, the best thing that makes me laugh is when someone I've known for ages, says or does something that completely surprises me.
What makes you angry?
The public, management, magpies, the wind, neds, old people, children, middle-class wankers, school teachers (more so now than when I was at school), junkies, scroungers....
If you could be a master of any musical instrument, which would it be?
The guitar, since I'm a rocker at heart. But I'd also love to be a piano legend.
What is/are your favourite place/s to eat out?
Any Indian restaurant, well, I say "any", I have been to a few shit ones, but I can generally eat any Indian meal.
(Except Korma, that's just warm curry flavoured yoghurt)
When have you been really frightened?
A couple of weeks ago, I was out in the country with a mate of mine having a fly smoke. We noticed a little red light in the trees about 100 metres away from where we were standing. After 5 minutes I noticed that it was moving slightly. We kept on smoking, then I started to hear this noise and the light got a bit closer. I smoked up quickly and walked towards the car, the light split into two, then three dots in a triangle and started moving towards us quicker. We both jumped in the car, locked the doors and sped off.
I have no idea what it was.
Do you believe in some kind of afterlife?
I like to think that there is an afterlife. But I'm not sure that deep down I believe it.
What is your favourite children's book?
Anything by Roald Dahl. "Witches" was a favourite, I'm sure.
What is your favourite time of year?
Winter, I'm a nocturnal creature and I like there to be as much darkness as possible. Plus the Christmas season is a great time to get drunk, all the time.
Which job do you dislike most around the house?
Doing my washing is always a pain, I tend to leave big piles of clothes for ages and then after a few days I think "shit, I've got nothing clean to wear!".
If you could be granted a single superpower, which would you choose?
The power to read, or control peoples minds.
Are you tattooed? If so, where and with what? If not, would you, where, and with what?
I am constantly reminded by my dad that I will one day bloat out like he did, which means I have put off a tattoo for a while, because I don't want some stretched nonsense on my body. I do have several designs lying around the house that I want, including "Kajun Firefly" tattooed on my right shoulder. I actually went for a tattoo in Ibiza once, but I was told I was too drunk and my blood would be too thin and I'd bleed everywhere. So I got my belly button pierced instead. That was 5 years ago, I still have it.
Who is the historical figure you would most like to converse with (language barriers aside)?
Spike Milligan
Who from your own past would you most like to go back and talk to?
I am blessed/cursed by the fact that I live in a shitty little town where everyone I grew up with still lives. There isn't anyone who I couldn't talk to, if I really wanted. So the idea of going back and seeing myself sounds good. When I do something stupid, I come home and look at the pictures on the wall of me when I was younger and I say "sorry guys, but you grew up to be an asshole".
Are you a cat person, or a dog person, if either?
Cat, definitely. They'll love you when they feel like it and generally just like to get on with their own thing. Although I do like dogs.
What song do you tend to sing the most?
I don't generally sing songs for no reason, unless they're stuck in my head. Songs I sing along to most often would be:
REM - Everybody Hurts
Radiohead - Street Spirit (Fade Out)
Radiohead - Just
Radiohead - No Surprises
Radiohead - Creep
Guns 'N' Roses - November Rain
Sum yourself up in one word...
Confused
If you could be anywhere, doing anything, right now, what would that be?
On Holiday, in Ibiza, with any one of a selection of girls from work, having a meal by the sea.
Have you ever been in love?
Hell yeah!
If you could go back in your life and fix one mistake you made, what would it be?
Falling in love
If you could change any of your physical features, would you, and which would it be?
I have a strangely formed rib cage, which means my chest sinks in the middle. It's something I inherited from my dad, which is why I killed him.
Tell us about your ideal StripCreator.com international convention...
Everyone is there, sitting in a circle with a packet of biscuits in the centre...
Nah, everyone, down the boozer, open bar, karaoke and plenty of curry.
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Dad was flammable
