Since a few of mine and JohnnyZero27's comics revolve around Lindsay Lohan dying, getting drunk, raped, and etcetera, I would like to start the Screw Lindsay Lohan post.

*ahem*

SCREW LINDSAY LOHAN!

Please feel free to add on to this. People also included can be Hilary Duff, Haylie Duff, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, The Olsen Twins, or Barry Manilow...Wait no, he's cool.

I have no problem with Lindsay Lohan. I thought Mean Girls was a really funny movie.

I definitely would like to screw Lindsey Lohan. And all those other new-fangled Hollywood harlots that guy mentioned.

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

Especially Barry Manilow.

---
all the wrong things for all the right reasons

I would most definitely like to screw Lindsey Lohan.

As well as seconding Bif Granks opinion i'd also like to add that I would trudge my testicles over a sea of broken glass if it meant I could smell her fart.

No...
Dont even try.

You cant get any lower.

---
"You grew up like brothers, and your teachers must have told you that North and South must not fight!

Isn't she just a chubby little adolescent with a boob job?

Yes, but she's a chubby adolescent with a boob-job that happens to have red hair... see?

Shit, if you want to screw a chubby adolescent with red hair, all you need to do is build a time machine, go back a quarter century, and force-feed me for a few months.

And yes, quite a few of my summer jobs involved working with boobs!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

That's the best idea I've heard yet

She's passed into the realm of the Anorexic Starlet now. I'd rather have banged her when she was "chubby".

And yes, I'd screw Lindsay Lohan. With my penis first, but then into a wall with a concrete drill.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

On the red hair topic: I don't think the drapes match the carpet, boys.

---
dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

My carpet doesn't match my drapes either. But they both came with the place.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Haven't any of you heard the term "Fire Crotch"? Come on, the drapes DO match the carpet.

Oh god... When I was a right bastard in High School, me and my friends used to make some poor redhead kid cry by calling him that.

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

I used to get called that at school. But that was more because of my sexual reputation.

Andy you dumbass, burning your pubic hair doesn't get you laid.

I have (and I'm sure Kaufman as well) been called Fire Crotch more than a few times in my day. It was half a nickname of mine at one point. The full being Ty Ty Buns Firecrotch (don't ask).

---
Poop.

Jesus Christ, I just noticed this and it scared the crap out of me. Whose leg is that in the background? Is that Lindsey's pimp?!

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

quote:

---

Jesus Christ, I just noticed this and it scared the crap out of me. Whose leg is that in the background? Is that Lindsey's pimp?!

---

That's it. You're totally Ty Ty Buns Firecrotch to me from now on. I've got to change your comment now.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

On second thought, it might be her crazy, alcoholic, stalker Dad, Michael Lohan. Guy seriously wants to bang his own daughter.

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

quote:

---

Guy seriously wants to bang his own daughter.

---

I'm asking.

Actually, people of all stripes tended not to look in the direction of my crotch. Few mortals have any idea whatsoever of what's down there.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com