So I had a brand new baby girl 3 weeks ago and this was last night...

[Click to view comic: 'My Night Last Night, Women Suck']

The is just the beginnig, she went off for an hour on me about how i suck as a dad because she doesn't roll over on the baby when she puts the baby in the bed (she knows were it is, SHE put it there).

So when i mentioned that she went off more, wtf is with women. It's my experience that they are all bitches and proud of it for some dumass reason.

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I dumb :D

If we're so bad, go for men. We never wanted you anyway. And the guys probably don't want you either.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Did you really call your daughter Phoenix? Are you a celebrity or something?

Thanks attitudechicka, you proved my point.

I think Phoenix is a nice name, would you prefer Mary or Sarah?

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I dumb :D

Yes. Classic names rock. If the growing little bugger in my wife's uterus turns out to be a girl, we'll probably name her Beatrice, Isabel, or Madeline.

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I has a flavor!

I didn't know those names were still in use this century

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I dumb :D

Yes. Classic names rock. If the growing little bugger in my wife's uterus turns out to be a girl, we'll probably name her Beatrice, Isabel, or Madeline.

I had no idea. Congrats!

(By the way, not that it matters, but I vote Isabel)

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Mediocrity at its most average.

It's a well known fact that kids with trendy names (vs classic) are more likely to go disappearing or be killed by the father...

Connor (Peterson)
Jon Beney (Ramsey)
Jayden
Logan
McKenna
Cameron

the list goes on and on. In fact, I did a strip on this not too long ago...

[Click to view comic: 'Hooray, there's a new Scott Peterson!']

HOw wonderful, a bright future indeed for my first child!

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I dumb :D

Every time a man starts talking about how crazy women are, I invite him to ask himself who's crazier: the nutcase or the one who is for some reason sexually and romantically attracted to said nutcase.

That being said, your wife is a freak. File for divorce and kill your daughter, who might have gotten some of your wife's DNA by accident. That will also save you 25 years of agony and a about $4 million in college tuition, which you can use for your alimony payments.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Connor is actually pretty common as far as guys' names go. I know two men who have this name.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I agree, I am the crazy one for being with her, She was super nice at first, but we all are. Can't kll the baby though, she's too dam cute and funny.

Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him, or their grandma.

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I dumb :D

not scyess, you should give more thought to what you write in these forums. I find your advice very reckless and irresponsible.

Why not kill the wife too and then he won't have to worry about alimony payments?

All I have to say is that parents need to think about how their child's names will affect them during Junior High and High School. You think little Phoenix might get made fun of in 5th grade?

Kittens are cute and funny, and they don't ruin your life or cost $4 million or grow up to be secret hormonal lunatics that marry unsuspecting schleps just to scream at them.

But I don't know why I'm bothering. It sounds like you're already lost, anyway.

What's more reckless and irresponsible... doing something that costs you $4 million and 25 years or not doing it?

She'll probably get lit on fire.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...but she'll rise from the ashes

I think the name John is easier to make fun of then Phoenix. So are many other common names.

Kids make fun of people, that's what kids do. All she has to do is beat the shit out of them and all is OK. That's what i did and still do if someone pisses me off.

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I dumb :D

Anyway her middle name is rose, she can use that if she wants or legally change her name, her choice when she is old enough to choose
i wanted to name her magatron

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I dumb :D

Really, I'd have gone for Albuquerque myself.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Yes. Classic names rock. If the growing little bugger in my wife's uterus turns out to be a girl, we'll probably name her Beatrice, Isabel, or Madeline.

I had no idea. Congrats!

(By the way, not that it matters, but I vote Isabel)

I vote Isnotabell.

:D

...but she'll rise from the ashes

though to the untrained eye it might look like soiling yourself and naming dependents

Really, I'd have gone for Albuquerque myself.

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what if nigger meant kite

Heehee you fell asleep on baby...

-Chaplin

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"I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Espcially since I rule." -Randel,Clerks

It's kind of like when I used to fall asleep and my brother would put shaving cream in my hand and tickle my nose. How was I to know there was shaving cream in my hand? In this case, the baby would be the equivalent of the shaving cream.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I have a funny feeling that this is a dead-baby joke in the making...

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.

and your brother would be flipynif1's wife

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what if nigger meant kite