I voted for a Republican today. Sure, he was running unopposed for "Register of Wills," but I'm rather proud of my new bipartisan spirit. I think maybe tomorrow I'll throw a rock at a Spotted Owl and see how that feels. This is very exciting!
Actually, I'm halfway between fear and eager curiosity about the prospect of Republicans finally getting control of all three branches (let's face it--they own the Supreme Court, too).
The fear is due to the fact that I think it's distinctly possible that Republican rhetoric put into law will rapidly accelerate the decline of American civilization. We're also likely to see an increase in wars (which won't affect me directly but is likely to affect a lot of innocent bystanders who don't share my good fortune in being a white, suburban, middle-class American), legislated religion, and legislated faux patriotism.
On the other hand, I am honestly curious to see if what they've been saying along about certain issues--primarily crime, taxation, education reform, and welfare reform--is correct.
I see six distinct possibilities for our near future here in the U.S.:
1) GOOD: The Republicans are right and always have been and eveything will turn out great and all of us hippie fags will have to apologize for not recognizing the truth earlier. We live, we learn, we move on happily into a new golden age.
2) GOOD: Not every conservative idea works out like they thought it would but their new position of responsibility leads a majority of those in power to bring a mature approach to decision-making and thus they constructively work out what works and what doesn't, perhaps along the way finding some sense of compromise with or acceptance of ideas they formerly spat upon (e.g. drug decriminalization, maintaining a safety net, ensuring all kids get properly educated, and so on).
3) SORTA GOOD, SORTA BAD: A sizeable chunk of the Republicans will be driven towards the middle by the zealotry and short-sightedness of the right wingers who are suddenly power-crazed, so we'll end up with a government a lot like it has been for decades (sorta bad), except that the right-wingers will get frustrated and head off to wacko third parties where we'll never hear from them again (sorta good).
4) BAD SHORT-TERM, POSSIBLY GOOD LONG-TERM: They'll get their way, everything will go to hell in a handbasket, and Americans will vote for Democrats or third-party candidates like crazy in the future, saying "Remember what a pile of shit our country became when the Republicans were in charge? What were we thinking?!" The demise of the GOP might not necessarily lead to a rosy future (I lack confidence in the Democrats to fix what might be fixable), but if the Republican ideas prove to be bad, at least those bad ideas can be weeded out of the discussion in the future.
5) BAD: It turns out that "Republican ideas" is an oxymoron and not much substantive happens, but Republican leaders like Dubya do a good enough job pushing Americans' emotional buttons while we distract ourselves with Julia Roberts movies and new wireless gadgets so that we don't notice a gradual downward slide (worse than before) of society and keep voting them into office again and again and it's too late to fix it by the time enough people realize what's gone wrong.
6) VERY BAD: Satan will thank us for finally opening the gates of hell and will consume all of our souls for all eternity.
At this point, I'm not sure which alternative I would bet on.
Feel free to place your bets or offer some alternate scenarios...
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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."
