...have your groin covered in charred human remains like the tribal inhabitants of...

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Scratch and sniff porn isn't as good as I'd hoped

...my colon, which...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

is being featured this month at McDonald's ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

...and accompanied with a free toy, which this week is...

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Scratch and sniff porn isn't as good as I'd hoped

...a double ended dildo, equipped with...

...self-inflating...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

...the macarena while wearing a french maid outfit and 10...

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

...skeletonized inhabitants of wirthling's colon embedded in jade and made into earrings, nose rings, belly-button rings, and those ineffable little rings that go in your...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...scale model of the Hindenburg, right before you torch it and cry, "OH, THE HUMANITY!!!!" as you remember that Hindenburg himself was quite a fatass and probably had bad gas, so naming an airship for him seems appropriate, especially in light of the fact that...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...he owned every issue of the Victoria's Secretions catalogue...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

... complete with their scratch-n-sniff fold-out inserts, in mint condition, and ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...his very own private collection of pork sausage, bacon and anthrax, which was the most popular...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

... configuration of the day back when the great "Pork and Disease" collecting pastime was in it's heyday, a hobby which was begun by the Duke of Edinburgh when he stumbled upon....

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

...a pig with anthrax, which he ordered his servants to deep fry, chop into sausage, and baconize for a tasty treat at his chalet in Glasgow where he treated the other Dukes and Duchesses to Anthrax Bacon and Sausage delectibles, whereupon they died most horrible and dramatic deaths, which played right into the Duke's plan to...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...become the Duke of Earl and sing away loudly on many a cold and frosty night while being accompanied on the piano by none other than...

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Scratch and sniff porn isn't as good as I'd hoped

...10 screaming bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape..

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

10 screaming bottles of Neuf, you take one down and pass it around, 9 screaming bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape, 9 screaming bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape, 9 screaming bottles of Neuf, you take one down and pass it around, 8 screaming bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

...on the wall (somehow we've forgotten to mention that)...

...gabe enjoys filming SC regulars tenderly stroking their...

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

...pet gophers that have a diet that mainly consists of...

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You may be smarter than me, but I gots a bigger dick!

...7 screaming bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape, and while I realize this is a little off the wall, you should see those little buggers when they're downing those 6 screaming bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape, it's totally amazing how they can...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...put in their tiny mouths something as big as gabe's...

...ego...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

...but not as large as Kauman's brain, which has been compared to...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...John Major in the bath, because they're both wrinkled and grey, which reminds me of a funny story about...