•kitty gives chooby a big canadian bear hug
kitty: i dont care what you say, i wanted to give you a hug
chooby: gak!
chooby: you coulda warned me
chooby: I was carrying these rare mAAk eggs.
kitty: but, no
kitty: i had to catch you offguard
chooby: now mAAk shall be the last of his kind
kitty: phew!
kitty: i mean
kitty: oh no!

---
"In a thousand years there will be no men and women just wankers and that's fine by me."

you know what my friend jake just asked me?
he's like "what's your mom's name?" i was like "why do you need to know it?" and he was like "so i can know who i jerk off to every night" i punched him good for that one
yeah, he should think of you
OMG...I just chanelled Dcom

In two weeks I am taking a photo of my wang
Maybe before then.
you schedule these things two weeks in advance?
Doesn't everybody?
No, I'm pretty spontaneous about photographing your penis.

---
Poop.

Referring to the poor hack I did (for a joke) of DexX's forum user's character to make it look a bit like me:

[22:08] jes, you do not look like a shaved weasle
[22:08] irl

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

[11:09:44] wrestling is on tonight and I can't watch it
[11:10:43] we can have our own wrestling match
[11:10:45] in here!
[11:11:05] * mikeweene has joined #stripcreator
[11:11:10] Anal wrestling!
[11:11:31] * mikeweene has left #stripcreator

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

I entered #stripcreator today. I was greeted by a stony silence. I left thereafter.

You pussy, Foot.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

The silence is us recharging our batteries.

---
Poop.

The loud buzzing noise is Tobor recharging his.

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

I was trying for more of a marshmallowy silence.

---
What others say about boorite!

you can like movies that suck
No one can like Gigli!
I like wrath of khan
Except J Lo's mom and Al Pacino because he's crazy now.
according to bunner and obijo, jaws sucked
I love that movie
I dont like Jaws.
I think its very overrated.
I thought you were half Jewish
oh
I.... am.........
I thought you said Jews
um.........
hmmn....
I was going to post that inflatabl doesnt like Jews
whew
tg I looked closer
It would be very strange if I didnt like Jews.
yes since they control the entertainment industry
Because that would mean I was self-loathing.
and therefore can plant pro-Jew mind control subliminals everywhere
that's how they enslaved the Egyptians you know
uh huh.
except for the mind control part
and the enslavement part
Werent the Jews enslaved by Egyptians, not vice-versa>
?
you and your nitpicky details
stop trying to catch me on obscure facts and engage my ARGUMENT
I'm trying to say the mindset behind thinking the jews enslaved egypt shows them to be a danger
see?
* boorite joggles flate
see??
you will see what I mean if you just hit yourself in the head repeatedly with a heavy object
.........
okay....
Well, I gotta run.

---
What others say about boorite!

Careful, boo, or I might put a curse on you with that Jewish mysticism stuff we all practice. Or maybe since I control the entertainment media I'll just keep all the TV shows you hate on forever.

---
Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

quote:

---

Careful, boo, or I might put a curse on you with that Jewish mysticism stuff we all practice. Or maybe since I control the entertainment media I'll just keep all the TV shows you hate on forever.

---

hahaha... i am such a nerd
i'm listening to Vanilla Ice
hahah
" go ninja go ninja go!"
you're at work, aren't you?
yes
* kitty cackles evilly
"If there was a problem, YO I'd solve it"
hahaha
literally
"Check out a book, while boorite catalogs it"
haha
you're having more fun with this than i am
and I'M the one who's supposed to be making you draw attention to yourself
even though there's probably only you tehre again
Right, I've nearly got this bearing calculator working
I think I deserve a cup of tea
definitely
no, my boss is here today, he's putting some electronic stuff together
because, you know, tea is the celebratory drink of champions
muah hahaha...
so today is the day to make you snort and chortle like ... uhh... D
AMMIT! i can't think under these conditions
ok, back in 5
*** Jes_L changed nick to Jes_TEA
Jes_The Enormous Assgoblin?
hmm... didn't think you'd want to put that as your name...
*** Jes_TEA changed nick to Jes_L
heh heh
ha ha!
did i make you laugh? literally?
like, IRL?
yes
SWEET!
I had to swallow tea quickly
bazing!
so as not to spray the monitor
i mean, dude, i'm sorry
i DEFINITELY didn't say it to make you laugh
i said it... because i heard from a wee little bird that it was true
i believe it was a swallow carrying a coconut...
unladen swallow, of course
Jes_L> :-~

---
Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

quote:

---

i believe it was a swallow carrying a coconut...
unladen swallow, of course

---

Birds are stupid that way.

[Click to view comic: 'A field guide to birds']

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

and now
TO LEAVE FOREVER
*** brad has quit IRC (Quit:)
!!!!
now that brad is gone, I'm in charge
* boorite-lunchee puffs out his chest
* boorite-lunchee looks like a lizard
ssssss
* chooby pulls off boorite's tail.
* BigEvilDan hands boorite the stack of papers labelled "ABUSE" from brad's desk.
SSSS!
* boorite-lunchee is a sad lizard

---
What others say about boorite!

Oh my god kaufman I choked on my Spicy Quesadilla Flavoured Tortilla Chips.

Funny Bastard...

---
:\

have you not seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? When King Arthur and one of the guards have a debate on how Arty couldn't have "found" the coconuts that Patsy was clonking together for the horse sound, and how swallow's couldn't have carried them, for the weight ratios are so off and blah blah blah...
FINE!

---
Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Kaufman, are those African or European swallows?

---
Poop.

European swallows are non-migratory...

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

They could be carried... the swallow could grip it by the husk.

[13:22:21] rock paper scissors for who defends brad
[13:22:28] 3
[13:22:29] 2
[13:22:32] rofk
[13:22:33] rock
[13:22:35] rock too
[13:22:37] ok
[13:22:38] damnit!
[13:22:39] 3
[13:22:40] 2
[13:22:42] rock
[13:22:43] paper
[13:22:46] wooo!
[13:22:46] damn you

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

[13:18:17] brad, why'd you have to pick a band name that's also a gay porn site?
[13:18:32] :|
[13:18:39] strategic marketing reasons of course
[13:18:48] you should sue
[13:19:01] good publicity
[13:19:31] it wasn't actually a gay porn site when i started bradsucks.net
[13:19:35] it was just taken
[13:19:55] is it your porn site?
[13:20:15] is this a trial
[13:20:23] Yes it is.
[13:20:23] ...
[13:20:33] i'm just making conversation
[13:20:33] * BigEvilDave bangs his gavel.
[13:20:42] * Rabid_Weasle is now known as Lawyer_Weasle
[13:20:43] * brad snaps a picture and puts it on his site
[13:20:56] so brad... tell me
[13:21:03] is it not true your name, is... brad?
[13:21:09] y-yes
[13:21:12] * Chicka is now known as Prossecutingchicka
[13:21:13] :O
[13:21:20] * BigEvilDave is now known as BigEvilJudge
[13:21:23] and is it also true that you do, inded suck?
[13:21:30] * Prossecutingchicka is now known as Prosecutingchicka
[13:21:42] Um, aren't those MY questions, weasle?
[13:21:43] yes
[13:21:51] uhhh... i dunno
[13:21:55] am i defending brad?
[13:21:58] * Prosecutingchicka defencelawyerchicka
[13:22:01] Woops
[13:22:14] ok, ok
[13:22:21] rock paper scissors for who defends brad
[13:22:28] 3
[13:22:29] 2
[13:22:32] rofk
[13:22:33] rock
[13:22:35] rock too
[13:22:37] ok
[13:22:38] damnit!
[13:22:39] 3
[13:22:40] 2
[13:22:42] rock
[13:22:43] paper
[13:22:46] wooo!
[13:22:46] damn you
[13:22:49] ha
[13:22:59] uhhh...
[13:23:06] You knew I only knew how to spell rock, didn't you?
[13:23:10] i demand my previous questions stricken from the record!
[13:23:21] i don't know what you're talking about...
[13:23:25] Done. I wasn't really paying attention anyway.
[13:23:49] Brad, is it true that you bought bradsucks.com in 1998 with the notion to start a gay porn website?
[13:23:59] objection!
[13:24:20] Overruled.
[13:24:24] damn
[13:24:36] Well, brad, is it?
[13:24:47] * brad throws water and papers at chicka
[13:24:55] :O
[13:24:59] Objection!
[13:25:02] * brad blames dcomposed
[13:25:06] i-
[13:25:09] The defendant is asaulting me
[13:25:15] objection!
[13:25:19] i-
[13:25:20] it was dcom!
[13:25:24] it was-
[13:25:40] Your witness, weasle
[13:25:48] THERE'S A BOMB IN CHICKA'S HAIR!
[13:25:48] Baliff, please remove dcomposed from the courtroom.
[13:25:48] i call to the stand...
[13:25:58] boorite!
[13:26:08] Um, don't you have to release your witness?
[13:26:12] first
[13:26:16] sure
[13:26:23] do that... release... thing
[13:26:32] Say "No further questions"
[13:26:40] * BigEvilJudge has brad removed from his Hannibl Lechter-like restraints.
[13:26:40] oh, right
[13:26:42] May I speak from teh dark, your honour?
[13:26:43] Chicka watches Judge Judy, she know's how it works.
[13:26:44] no further questions!
[13:26:47] And then the judge will say "The witness may take his seat"
[13:27:04] Actually, I watch court TV a lot with my sis
[13:27:13] M'lud, the matter at hand is utter m0ose muffins. I move we adjourn for pr0n and tea,
[13:27:49] for my next witness, i call... dcomposed!
[13:27:50] Damn, brad, could you have been any cheaper with your choice of lawyer?
[13:28:00] cheaper? i'm getting paid?
[13:28:01] dcomposed was removed from the courtroom
[13:28:05] i see....
[13:28:10] boorite?
[13:28:17] boorite isn't in the courtroom
[13:28:19] When it comes to choosing lawyers, brad really sucks.
[13:28:20] * dcomposed looks through the window.
[13:28:24] there's dcom!
[13:28:29] Thank you, your honor
[13:28:32] * dcomposed waves to Weasle.
[13:28:33] Baliff, please close the curtains.
[13:28:33] * Lawyer_Weasle grabs dcom and drags him into the courtroom
[13:28:35] My point exactly
[13:28:47] * Lawyer_Weasle puts groucho glasses on dcom
[13:28:56] hey... this is... Pcomdosed..
[13:28:58] I've prepared my closing arguements
[13:28:59] Hi, my name is bcomposed...
[13:29:00] he's my witness
[13:29:06] I mean Pcomposed
[13:29:10] * Lawyer_Weasle winks at dcom
[13:29:13] I forgot my own name.
[13:29:19] AMP Head originally owned by JACO PASTORIUS. 20,000.00
[13:29:21] Yeah, that happens all the time
[13:29:28] He was a drunk and the amp is shit
[13:29:36] Can we just move on to closing statements.
[13:29:38] ?
[13:29:40] no!
[13:29:42] Wow, bunner
[13:29:44] i have a witness damnit!
[13:29:51] * Lawyer_Weasle sulks
[13:29:51] Okay, question him already
[13:30:00] * bunnerabb is now known as bunner_bailiff
[13:30:02] Let me know when you're done
[13:30:07] now... mr....Pcomdosed
[13:30:19] you better mind your manners or I'mah break my foot off in your ass
[13:30:35] * dcomposed is now known as Pcomdosed
[13:30:45] is it not true that you are what one may call a gay porn afficionado
[13:31:01] That is true.
[13:31:12] so this must mean, you've seen a lot of gay porn sites
[13:31:13] :o
[13:31:18] I have.
[13:31:26] 8O
[13:31:30] Objection! He's leading the witness, look at him pointing at his nose!
[13:31:36] Oh lwazy
[13:31:38] He's signaling to steal third!\
[13:31:45] * Pcomdosed steals third.
[13:31:48] Overruled. I think it's funny.
[13:31:51] you better be cool, mister lawyer man
[13:31:52] in your time, looking at gay porn, have you ever come across a site called bradsucks.com?
[13:32:21] Once, but I was very high at the time.
[13:32:32] Ah ha!
[13:32:41] do you remember any of the "actors" you witnessed at this site?
[13:32:41] Objection, the witness's state of mind is irrelevant
[13:33:03] Wait, the bailiff can't object.
[13:33:05] I remember one... I think his name was brad.
[13:33:06] :(
[13:33:07] k
[13:33:09] sorryu
[13:33:14] Thank you balif
[13:33:19] is this "brad" in this courtroom?
[13:33:20] I was getting a drink
[13:33:22] It was a good one, tho
[13:33:26] That's him over there!
[13:33:28] That it was, bunner.
[13:33:30] *nod*
[13:33:31] where?!
[13:33:37] * Pcomdosed points to brad.
[13:33:40] who?
[13:33:44] the guy behind brad?
[13:33:48] that guy?
[13:33:50] behind brad!
[13:33:54] Yes!
[13:33:54] objection!
[13:33:56] Jed!
[13:33:56] Let the record show that the wittness pointed at the defendant.
[13:33:57] :O
[13:34:07] * bunner_bailiff whispers I think yo ass is in a sling, mr Brad
[13:34:09] Defense is clearly leading the witness
[13:34:10] BEHIND the defendant
[13:34:22] Sustained.
[13:34:30] objection!
[13:34:38] SUS-TAINED.
[13:34:44] :(
[13:34:50] * bunner_bailiff glares at teh weasle
[13:35:02] o O ( A lwayer named weasle.. fancy that.. )
[13:35:08] May I question the witness now or are you going to bumble around up there some more?
[13:35:14] oh oh! i know!
[13:35:36] now... this brad, was he acting? or was he just a crew man who ACCIDENTALLY walked in on the set?
[13:35:49] ;) ;)
[13:36:03] Bailiff, please slap Mr. Weasle in the head.
[13:36:14] * Lawyer_Weasle puts on helmet
[13:36:15] haha!
[13:36:15] Thank you, Your honor
[13:36:19] He was being held hostage.
[13:36:25] hostage you say?
[13:36:28] by whom?
[13:36:33] He was tied to a chair, but he didn't seem to mind.
[13:36:37] WHACK
[13:36:41] Sit you ass down, boy
[13:36:43] he was OBVIOUSLY drugged
[13:36:53] * Prosecutingchicka taps foot impatientl
[13:36:55] y
[13:36:56] And the one that tied him to the chair
[13:37:02] was who?
[13:37:09] Was bunner_bailiff
[13:37:10] Objection!
[13:37:13] :O
[13:37:16] amha have some weasle etoufee, you don't sit your ass down
[13:37:19] Wait, I want to hear this
[13:37:29] bunner_bailif?
[13:37:32] are you sure?
[13:37:32] Hell no
[13:37:37] Aw, hell no!
[13:37:46] I'd recognise that ass anywhere!
[13:38:01] let the record stand that pcomdosed pointed out bunner's ass
[13:38:05] your honour, I object
[13:38:09] state, not stand
[13:38:11] My ass is turned away from the wesle
[13:38:15] same thing...
[13:38:21] He be frontin
[13:38:36] Okay, I think it's time to let Chicka have a turn.
[13:38:40] yeah
[13:38:41] :(
[13:38:45] that's what I'm talin; about
[13:38:48] k
[13:38:48] no further questions
[13:38:56] * Pcomdosed checks sign language guide.
[13:38:59] Mr. Pcomposed, please state for the record your full name
[13:39:01] * bunner_bailiff glares at the weasle more
[13:39:13] >:-|
[13:39:17] Pcom Dosed
[13:39:27] May I remind you you are under oath?
[13:39:37] :(
[13:39:39] Dcom Posed
[13:39:43] :O
[13:39:43] :O
[13:39:51] you're not getting paid!
[13:39:54] ...
[13:39:58] ...
[13:40:06] >:-|
[13:40:06] Mr. Posed, is it true that you are not, in fact, gay.
[13:40:07] * Lawyer_Weasle quickly puts cell phone to ear
[13:40:15] just... just walking to my... pool boy
[13:40:20] shut that shit off, you weasle
[13:40:28] * bunner_bailiff tackles the weasle
[13:40:31] ack!
[13:40:35] objection!
[13:40:36] It's true, I am not gay.
[13:40:37] * bunner_bailiff handcuffs the weasle
[13:40:42] Sit
[13:40:43] your
[13:40:44] ass
[13:40:45] down
[13:41:02] bunner's trying to put me in his porn!
[13:41:03] Why would a straight man have such a fascination with gay porn?
[13:41:23] I am a fan of indepentent film.
[13:41:29] The content is not important.
[13:41:53] I was more interested in the camera work and stuff.
[13:42:01] You said you were high the night you logged on to bradsucks.com. Is it possible you weren't at bradsucks.com at all?
[13:42:17] And actually reading a livejournal?
[13:42:25] Well..
[13:42:29] I guess that is possible.
[13:42:37] No further questions, your honor
[13:42:51] * bunner_bailiff removes the gag from Weasle's mouth
[13:42:53] Well?
[13:42:55] * Lawyer_Weasle makes "i'm going to kill you" body language towards pcom
[13:42:56] The witness may get the hell out of the courtroom now.
[13:43:05] * Pcomdosed runs away.
[13:43:11] >:-|
[13:43:12] I think I accidently defended brad
[13:43:14] what?
[13:43:15] Any more witnesses?
[13:43:17] i have a cold
[13:43:19] yes!
[13:43:20] mhm
[13:43:23] one more!
[13:43:28] I have no surprise witnesses.
[13:43:34] i call to the stand...
[13:43:39] this ficus plant!
[13:43:45] Objection
[13:43:45] :-/
[13:43:57] Permission to break my foot off in this motherfucker's ass, your honour
[13:43:59] now... mr ficus plant
[13:44:04] Obviously a ficus plant has no soul, they cannot be sworn in
[13:44:04] Permission granted.
[13:44:06] if brad is innocent, say or do nothing
[13:44:12] *FOOMP!*
[13:44:13] :O
[13:44:27] let the record state that the ficus plant did or said nothing!
[13:44:32] Can we have a verdict now or what?
[13:44:33] Sit your ass
[13:44:34] I think it's time for closing statements.
[13:44:35] down
[13:44:35] no further questions
[13:44:42] >:-|
[13:44:52] Go ahead, weasle
[13:44:55] Yours first
[13:45:01] brad is a man
[13:45:03] a man who sucks
[13:45:11] does that make him a gay porn star?
[13:45:13] no
[13:45:17] that just makes him a man
[13:45:31] and a man who deserves not this sort of treatment
[13:45:41] a man, who justs wants to make music
[13:45:45] thank you
[13:45:46] :_(
[13:45:49] * Lawyer_Weasle sits his ass down
[13:45:50] *snif*
[13:45:58] Okay, brad is a man who sucks
[13:46:16] * bunner_bailiff gets a hankie
[13:46:17] He purposely left bradsucks.com empty until no one was paying attention
[13:46:22] To make it a gay porn site
[13:46:38] Okay, I actually think he's innocent, I just wanted to prove I'm better than Weasle.
[13:46:40] Thank you.
[13:46:54] :-/
[13:47:07] Do your thing, your honour
[13:47:13] And now to decide upon a verdict.
[13:47:23] * BigEvilJudge pulls out a coin.
[13:47:28] * BigEvilJudge flips the coin.
[13:47:31] Why didn't we get one of those wise cracking balifs like on Divorce Court
[13:47:33] :O
[13:47:38] Tails!
[13:47:42] heads!
[13:47:48] wangs!
[13:47:48] :-|
[13:47:53] quiet, you
[13:47:55] dongs!
[13:48:01] Seeing as this coin was given to me by the prosecutor, I find the defendant guilty.
[13:48:08] * bunner_bailiff tosses weasle out of a window
[13:48:15] Oh crap
[13:48:21] What's his sentence
[13:48:21] Weasle-ass motherfucker
[13:48:31] Unfortunately, running a porn site isn't a crime, so he still gets off scott-free.
[13:48:32] :(
[13:48:38] yay!
[13:48:38] Oh. Whew
[13:48:43] Sorry bout that brad
[13:48:44] * Lawyer_Weasle lies bleeding on the ground
[13:48:47] I'm outta here
[13:48:49] * Prosecutingchicka is now known as Chicka
[13:48:53] * bunner_bailiff gets some coffee
[13:48:54] * Pcomdosed is now known as dcomposed
[13:48:57] * BigEvilJudge is now known as BigEvilDan
[13:48:59] * bunner_bailiff is now known as bunnerabb
[13:49:03] * Lawyer_Weasle is now known as Rabid_Weasle
[13:49:05] alright!
[13:49:08] yay!
[13:49:10] that rehearsal was good
[13:49:11] * brad pretends to forgive everyone
[13:49:15] that's a wrap
[13:49:18] cast party!

---
Batman created by Bob Kane