REENTRYHAWHAW by ObiJo 9-28-01

LOTZ OF U FUKERS GIV NOOBS A HARD TIME SOIN PROTEST IM RITING THIS STRIP WITH NO PUNCTUASHEN OR SPEELING CHEKS N SHOUTING HAWHAW Where the donkey and the spaceship fit in I haven't figured out yet.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC 67 Hey, What do you D00DZ think og my comix?! by lara7 9-28-01

oNE day WHEN i JOINED STREPKREATOR... WE ARE THE ASS FUCK tWINS wE LIKE TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS!!111! nEWBEE ARTIST WILL NOT KNOW WHAT i SAY HERE!! wHAT YOU SAY? i CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE fOR gREET jUSTICE!

---
When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

explaining a joke is a sure-fire way of killing any humor it may have had... so here i go:
i tried to simultaneously make a comic about an in joke, insult people who can't get the in joke, spell like jeff k @ something awful (after reading that guy's webpage i automatically assume all leet people have the kind of brain damage you'd expect from the exploding dog character with a nail in his head), and demand people read my comics.
i couldn't think of a more current game where PK'ing was a problem... i also couldn't think of a better way to make a horrible comic. for those who never played UO, (and if everyone's played it then i'm sorry but i only beta tested it) ghosts talk jibberish unless you spend a scroll to understand them.
i'd like to apologise to anyone who's IQ has been signifigantly lowered by reading my post... i just realized the theme of the week was "horrible comics" and, well... it felt like a sign from up above, you know?

---
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..." - homer

CC67: 1 f33L D1r7y . W45h M3!! by apejuice 9-28-01

this fagit cowboy looks like michael morgan only less of a gHeY inbreeD YO DOOD WAZZZZZUUUUUPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hey liddle feller what you doin out here in teh desert all alone??? does yo momma know you out here cuz if she dont then you in a whole big heap o trouble so I AINT NO LIDDLE FELLER A-HOLE SMELL MY FREAKING CRIACK YOU BIATCH! WTF have annyboddy seen my hoss? suddenlyontheothersideoftown..................... Jesus? What the fuck is all that? i've come to talk to you about aLL yuOR fUCkInG b4sE G4nG5t4!!!!!! n00bz r00000LLLLL. LLL

This contest is the face of true evil. I feel horrible, now. Really quite bad about myself.

---
I LIVE!

man eats dogg but gets blown up by laser or brain power by crabby 9-28-01

one day at the grassy in in north philly this girl met this guy and they said hi to each other.com HI!!!!!!!! I OWN THE NETHER REALM AND SO I OWN YOU DOGGG EAT KETTLE You dont understand my father owns a store where they exchange money for goods or services MENBAH so shut your eat hole promptly!!!!!!! it was love at first sight until the girl threatened to blow up the guy using mental powers of some sort I WILL NOW DESTROY YOU WITH SOME SORT OF MENTAL POWERS YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME BECAUSE I AM WOMAN AND I AM STRONG!!!!!!! MENBAH your story put me to sleep you have no excuse to be a troll eating wench so take it back my dad knows attitude chicka so watch out then the girl blows up the guy using some sort of brain trick or maybe a laser but she did it and now he is that pillar of flames I HAVE DESTROYED YOU WITH SOME SORT OF BRAIN POWER OR MAYBE IT WAS A LAZER BUT YOU ARE FINISHED FOREVER MORE EAT FACE NOW PERISH IN THE COLD FIRE THAT YOU LAY IN MENBAH i am flames but i did nothing to deserve this MENBAH

CC 67: TEH EVIL CYBER-JESUS SETS GABE ON FIRE!!1! by BigEvilDan 9-28-01

ROBO-SAVIOUR SHOWS OFF HIS MAD COMIX SKILLZ dO YOU LIEK TEH cOMIKS i MADE??!??!!!!111 tHEY R 1337 LIEK MEEEE!!!!!11111 gO AWAY U n00b! u suxx0r more than SuckyBoy81!! gabe is 0wn3d by teh fire DO NOT MOCK CYber-jesus!!!1 i 0wn u, biznach!!!11 gah!!!!!!11!1 teh fire it burns!!!1!11 Hey Dan, have you seen the rules for the latest comic? For a guy who does nothing but make fun of those comics, this should be...uh, Dan? Are you okay? So dirty...must fight the evil...it will not consume me...TEH EV1L ROOLZ THIS FLESHBAG NOW!...no, must fight the evil...

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

This guy has a whole series of ones like this.

Inkeh by delta 7-06-01

herro i r inkeh D: D: D: i r make lots of faces D: :) :O!!!!! why, thats one sekxy beard you got there little girl.. D: =[ D: but im a boy! D: lookin so cute with ur tounge out, lemme hold you, slickruts d1e d1e d1e D: D: take your h3nd off mah 4ss oo youve got buns of steel too, h3h3h3h3h

CC67 meh j00 by kramer_vs_kramer 9-28-01

Neo & CSMann have a fight in front of a bomb while CSMannnn nails a nail into his gh3y head. Reminds me of the time my father put a nail in my head for not letting his friend taste my pee-spout [K£WL]Neo: H3h n00b U iz t3h gh3y3st I r0x0r & U sUxxx0r!!!!!!1! /.*/ [PkA]CSMannn: N0 U suxxx0rs g0@ts U r g43y3st m3h iz l33t YOU IS A TK1NG F4G WITH WALLHAX0RS I 0wnz3rs U wit M3H CS skillz0rs I h@v0r a n@1L in meh h3@d l@mezzz Neo is half a dolphin and CSMan is on fire. My father set me on fire once for refusing to touch him in his "special place". I learned soon after to that to swallow his juice all up like a good boy. [K£WL]Neo: H3H BURN J000 F4GG0R I IS l33t ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!1!! WTF I AM A d0Lph1n wer is m3h ass. j000 st0le it j00 gh3yl0rd w000000000000t [PkA]CSMannn: AAAAAAAAAAAAA I is on f1r3 you fagg0r. Neo is an alien with a gun and CSMann is now jesus. Jesus talks to me sometimes. He comes into my room at night and tells me to keep his big stick safe in my botty . He looks like my dad. [K£WL]Neo: M3h w3@pon OWNZ0rs J00000. J00 suxx0rs c0ckzzzez bizn@zzzz LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLROFLROFLLOLOLOL!!!!1!!!!!!!!1!! [PkA]CSMannn: WTF I AM JESUS. LIMP BIZKIT! LIMP BIZKT! ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLIIN ROLLIN. J000 mh@de meh Jesus j00 gh3yest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This comic probably took me the longest out of all the comics I have made.

All I can say, evil_d, is you deserve to have to read all of these!

Plan 10 from outer spa by kaufman 9-28-01

Priam nummers OWNZ j0u donbelieVe ME Read th!s shpxvat comikkk! Its evil how people with projectile dierr, diarhhe, er, craps, sit on these benches before me and make it all gooooooey while I just want to sit in marshmallows and read the works of E.E. CUMMIN.GS B c D f G h J k L m N p Q r S t V w X y Z their, have some consonants. Message from Bush: Subliminabubble. Limericks backwards you read will I: Side by side interred they're now and, Carolina North in, Grin a with said he, Bunk his in asleep fell who, Score a and gross a, dozen a. Tell me, how can peter piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Is anyone still reading this crap? If so, call me at work and I'll let you buy me a beer. eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts eat my shorts Oh sure, put asiangirl2 in the very last panel of this stupid comic because your 2 layzee to change the character. Bet you won''t even have me say anything. Oops, I'm wrong. Finis.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

What's in my wallet right now by kaufman 9-28-01

Left flap: Driver's license, Campus ID Right flap: MasterCard, Discover, eMasterCard Inserts: Penney's card, Hecht's card, health insurance card, blood donor card, AAA card, car insurance card, Petco card (meow), Costco card, bridge director certification, calling card, radio permit, MotoPhoto card, memberships: Mensa, Holocaust Museum And also some lint Center insert: ATM card, 2 bagel club cards, 2 wife's business cards, 4 German business cards, Car service business card Pocket: 4 $1 bills, 2 $5 bills, and 3 $20 bills.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Honey, which wallpaper should we put in the kitchen? by kaufman 9-28-01

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Who's up for mugging Kaufman after work?

Pah! I mock your wallpaper.

The French Flag. Pointless, I know by kramer_vs_kramer 9-21-01

Now, everyone, salute!

I also did the Italian flag. I'm sure you can imagine what that looks like. No luck with the St Andrew's cross though.

I think this guy deserves to win. His comics are all along these lines:

i have nevar had sex by fuck 8-10-01

oh look fire oh look chikcen oh look paper and bug oh look man this is the best strip ever oh look girl oh look funny man with bag

Bwahaha, kramer!

The Jolly Roger Flag by kaufman 9-28-01

Whee!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CCLXVI - I feel cheap and dirty by DexX 9-28-01

2 asien girls meat each other one day and say hi hi asien girl hi aisne girl the 2 asien girls dont like ech other and have a figt i dont like j00 bitch i dont liek j00 ether bithc slut hore then they both catcn on fire because jesus doesnt liek when aisne girls fight ah no i am on fire i am on fire 2 we shoudl not fight

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Who's up for mugging Kaufman after work?

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Yeah, that's a tough one. I tried using dialogue boxes for the cross, but it ended up looking really contrived.

On another note, why do so many bad strips conclude with the flame prop saying something along the lines of "ah I am on fire"?

CCLXVI - I still feel cheap and dirty by DexX 9-28-01

n00bs suxx0r!!!!!!!! i am a n00b!!!!!! i dont suxx0r!!!! j00 suxx0r btich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i kung f00 j00!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!1 j00 kung f00 me in 2 a dickhead!!!!!!!!!!! i taek my special transformer beast warz lots of eyes form!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FNISH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 owwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! j00 maed me nail my hed!!!!!! not me it was the other guy

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CCLXVI - Yeah, still cheap and dirty, I don't like this. by DexX 9-28-01

aaaahhhh i am on fier!!!!!!!!!!! HEY!!!! U R EARLY!!! U R SPOSED TO BE AT THE END OF THE STRIP@!!!! blowjob rimjob haaa!!!!!!!!! my powers made you cathc on fier!!! DAMN!!!!! FIRST HES EARLY

SHIT!!!

My first attempt to make a real joke rather than just emulate stupidity, and either I or the strip creator has fucked it up... I definitely typed the punchline, so God only knows where it went. it was supposed to be "Damn, first he's early, then he misses his cue - we need a new fire prop."

(If you think I am going to do any all-caps outside a strip in this contest, get stuffed...)

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

3y3 d0n+ ph331 1i|< 1+ d0\/\/N b1ch3z!!!1!

Boorite vs. h4x0rz, pt. 2 by boorite 4-02-01

ph33r my 1337 g33r & h4x0r w4rezzz!!! Kid, when I was your age, we h4x0r'd with 1 Mhz CPUs, 64k of RAM, and 300 baud modems that plugged into the joystick port. WTF? We used our TVs for monitors and saved our w4rez to tape. But we h4x0r'd like m0f0zzz!!!! Save it for Ken Burns, Grampa. What you say!!!

---
What others say about boorite!

CC 67: Burning is too good for this contest by BigEvilDan 9-28-01

jesus is on fire ahh!!1 i m on fier!!!!111!!1 hahaha. u r 0wn3d! so is asiangirl2 d00d, u r on fier too!!!!111 nooo!!!111 this is teh n00bs fault so is the author of this strip, as penance for his crimes to humour u r hot chick ha ha get it? hot!!!1 LOL dont make me, uh, burn u more

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

C!!!1 C!!!!11 6!!!!!11 7!!!!!11 FAG!!!!!11111 by andydougan 9-28-01

ur gay ha ha! boohoo how coudl yuo say taht. im sorry i didnt meen it NO!!!!! APOLOGIES ARE UNACEPTABLE NOW? I WILLL TURN IN TO A MONSTAR ADN RAPE YUO - - - IN THE ARS!!!! SPREDEM BITCH!!!!!! nO NO PLEASE DONT RAPE ME IN TEH ARS UH UH SAY MTY NAEM SLUT!!!!1!!!.

C7C6C d00d by andydougan 9-28-01

heLo litel girl helo mr elahpint yuo haev big tucsks y dont u stikc thm in mi vajinea!!!!!!! no taht woudl be rong adn i woudl go 2 jale jsut as i thohgt ur a homo eliphetn arnet u!!!!!!!!1 fukkin fagot ono how did u no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plees dont tel mi dad hell throgh me out of teh hous!!!!!!!!!!1 Sigh...and I wanted to do Shakespeare...

CC67: Laugh If You Got Em! by tiger8191 9-28-01

fijosidao eh? osdoughpa LOL WTF? oijepoaigj btw! Nice fucking idea evil_d!

---
"I know how toast works."