Oldest one in the book.

Slow Children by Namgubed 3-29-02

SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY Duhhhhh go get the uhhhhhh ball, duhhhhh Sally! Duhhhh uhhhhhhhhh?

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Gabe Billings Has Already Won 2 by TheElPaso 3-29-02

After a second scan, it seems you also have no posterior. Wait just a second! I know I have an ass! Attention: All people boarding flights are subject to Rapiscan search. Perhaps there's actual metal there this time? But why would there be metal in my ass? THE DOCTOR IS IN So how long has Tobor's cornholer been falling apart? Ever since you tried to cornhole the President, but it turned out to be a statue.

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

CC110: A Sad Day In Stripcreatorland by israphael 3-29-02

*******************No Puns******************* ******No Sexually Explicit Material****** No Long-Winded Self-Serving Attempts at Snarky Social Commentary or Obscure References Used For The Purpose Of Appearing Smarter Than Others

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC 110: What a silly mistake my last comic was by DMSO 3-29-02

*************NO ASIAN GIRLS************* Wooh! Stick it to the man! Yeah! Reh-voh-loo-shun!

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

CC 110 - No Holes Barred! by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 3-29-02

-------------------No Cornholing!------------------ RAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW! Wait a second, you can't do that! Read the sign. -------------------No Cornholing!------------------ CRAP! Ha Ha Ha. I'm afraid there is no way for you to get around the law. -------------------No Cornholing!------------------ JOKES ON YOU LITTLE MAN! EVER HEAR THE PHRASE, "RIP YOU A NEW ONE"? Crap!

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I'm half spit, by body weight.

Soon an underground religion will form where young people will bow down and pray towards Kaufman, sacrifice virgins and drink strange tea brewed from wisps of his moustache.

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Dad was flammable

It'll never happen. After where are you going to find virgins in this day and age (except at Sci-Fi conventions, that is).

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC 110: Be True To Your Teeth Or They Will Be False To You by deucepm 3-30-02

FREE DENTAL EXAM, TODAY ONLY NEXT!

Apologies if the sign doesn't line up properly on your screen. It did on mine.

CC 110: Bridge Over Doubled Twatters by kaufman 3-30-02

________ Under Construction ________ ___________ Bridge Out _____________ __________DO NOT ENTER! __________ How's it going, Dan? Not bad, Brad. I just figured out a can't-miss investment strategy. It goes like this: Whoa, that does sound great. I won't have to worry about financial security ever again. And as a bonus payoff, neither will any of our readers who follow those simple instructions.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

These are in no way supposed to be related.

...and a-one...

CC 110: Beware of Cow by Scyess 3-30-02

- = Beware of the Dog = - **DING DONG** - = Beware of the Dog = - What? Good afternoon, sir, would you like to buy -- woah, what the hell? Are you supposed to be "the dog?" - = Beware of the Dog = - They were out of "Beware of Cow" signs. Now prepare yourself for pain heretofore only known to cud, dickbreath. Maybe you'd be more threatening if you weren't pink. Just a suggestion.

...and a-two...

CC 110: A Better Life by Scyess 3-30-02

- = FREE SEX INSIDE!!! = - **DING DONG** All right! - = FREE SEX INSIDE!!! = - yum AAAAAAAAHHHHH HOLY SHIT!!! - = FREE SEX INSIDE!!! = - **SLAM** Life is so much better since I changed that "keep out" sign.

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"Old" is the old new.

Classic.

CC110: We've Already Established What You Are... by israphael 3-30-02

Warning: Reading this comic strip is illegal and subject to fines. So I say to the guy, "I bet I can shove it up there further than you can". Uh-huh uh-huh. I see. Go on. Warning: Reading this comic strip is illegal and subject to fines. Hold it! I caught some of you out there reading this strip. You can't say you weren't warned. Warning: Reading this comic strip is illegal and subject to fines. To avoid arrest, send $50 to: Israphael, 269 Fistula Ave., Hog Waller, Texas, 77843. Wow! That guy's a bigger whore than Andy's maw.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Click here to view those who finished in the lead lap.

\=========================*VICTORY LANE*=========================\

CC 110: Be True To Your Teeth Or They Will Be False To You by deucepm 3-30-02

FREE DENTAL EXAM, TODAY ONLY NEXT!

Way to go, deucepm!

As evinced by all the submissions, the simple rules of CC:110 unleashed a quality which fills the spectrum between cerebral and visceral humor. I personally like both values in their extreme. This makes it hard for me to prosecute judgement without complicating the process with a little third party democracy... that means that my drunk American friends had a weighted say.

Enjoy your Ether.

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[img]http://photo.msn.s8.com/MS8zLzEwNTIwMTk4NjQvMS80MDE3LzE1NS8zMi9yZmM1RHUxZU9fZzNxRnk0RkFEdjB3/46b435275f6d18e45188099d0587305d/clbk=HcZNnT9kkUh6!cx8ceVWZpdc4adQXMF7dxfRN8fxUJ20XRZVw0NDoYaVMU251evB

Nominees...

]A Sad Day In Stripcreatorland
"No Long-Winded Self-Serving Attempts at Snarky Social Commentary or Obscure References Used For The Purpose Of Appearing Smarter Than Others" israphael

Beware of Cow
"prepare yourself for pain heretofore only known to cud, dickbreath." Scyess
Be True To Your Teeth Or They Will Be False To You
"FREE DENTAL EXAM, TODAY ONLY" deucepm

Breakin' My Mind
"DECEPTICONTRACT LABOR!" Namgubed

Ignorance of space laws is no defense.
"nee-hee" drave

[url="http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=63976"]Kaufman Made Me Do It[/url>]
"Cross Traffic Ahead" wirthling

Use your imagination
"[000] days without an awful" pun kaufman

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[img]http://photo.msn.s8.com/MS8zLzEwNTIwMTk4NjQvMS80MDE3LzE1NS8zMi9yZmM1RHUxZU9fZzNxRnk0RkFEdjB3/46b435275f6d18e45188099d0587305d/clbk=HcZNnT9kkUh6!cx8ceVWZpdc4adQXMF7dxfRN8fxUJ20XRZVw0NDoYaVMU251evB

#1, So who won?

and #2, Why do I NEVER get an honorable mention? That was at least HALF funny.

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Skeeter Valentine = hot.

deucepm with Be True to your Teeth or They Will Be False to You is the winner.

Yours was very funny, A_Ch. (Splatting Spankling)

Actually, I feel bad because the one that I like very much (Sad Day in Stripcreator Land) didn't rate well in my "judging" process because it was sort of an 'in' joke. Irony, at face value, doesn't fare well in a third party focus group, I suppose.

Take note that I couldn't even shave the "honorable mention" list down to five even with the help of these outsiders which meant that I was taking this waaay too seriously.

I figured these contests were akin to Whose Line Is It Anyway? or pairs figures skating in that the show was more important than the competition. A virtually arbitrary system (arbitrary because there is no criteria and because sense of humor varies among beholders) tapped deucepm as the "winner" but, in my view, anyone who participates deserves an honorable mention.- bc

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[img]http://photo.msn.s8.com/MS8zLzEwNTIwMTk4NjQvMS80MDE3LzE1NS8zMi9yZmM1RHUxZU9fZzNxRnk0RkFEdjB3/46b435275f6d18e45188099d0587305d/clbk=HcZNnT9kkUh6!cx8ceVWZpdc4adQXMF7dxfRN8fxUJ20XRZVw0NDoYaVMU251evB

If you like it, then how come you didn't judge it well?

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

*blink*

*blink blink*

I won? Rock.

Uh...I should have the new competition by tomorrow morning. Sorry, I was just completely unprepared for this...

Ah. That explains it. Aaaanyway, I'll try to think of something tonight, tomorrow morning at the latest...