I'm not, I want to be able to see my comic scores. I MAY NOT BE AROUND MUCH LONGER IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Is that your Make a Wish? Comic Scores? Damn, man, should have gone with titty.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Would somebody please cornhole Teda with a very big painful metal instrument of some kind so he'll forget about his cancer for a moment?

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

FINALLY, someone's listening. Really, really listening.

Titty.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

You try getting titty with a HUGE BULGING MELON SIZED FLESH EATING TUMOR PULSING AND STRAINING AGAINST THE MOTTLED LEATHERY SKIN OF YOUR FOREHEAD.

What I mean to say is that it's actually quite easy what with the sick little boy appeal,and saves you that vital wish. Unfortunately, they don't terribly find it funny when they ask you what your wish would be, and you say "MORRRRRREE WISHESSSS?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!" Especially when you keep saying it over and over and they've had Derek Jeter waiting in the hall for a little over a couple of hours.

So they're not returning my calls any more, so I'll keep you updated on how it goes with the alternative organization I'm contacted, THE WES CRAVEN'S MAKE A WISHMASTER FOUNDATION.

Truth being stranger than fiction, I'll let you all in on the fun that was my bout with the make-a-wish foundation.

I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease when I was 15. I was given a wish from the make-a-wish foundation. Being 15, and more interested in fighting cancer than coming up with a creative wish, I wished for a trip to Disney World for me, my sister, and my mom.

The make-a-wish foundation's partner in Florida is called Give Kids the World. They work in conjunction with Holiday Inn to run the Holiday Inn Kids' Village, or as my family dubbed it, the Village of the Damned.

Every day we would leave for a fun-filled day of Disney sponsored enjoyment, and we'd come back to find that the staff had crept into our suite to leave us presents like sunscreen and t-shirts. They also slipped me a Mickey.

Aftermath: I'm cancer free for the last 10 years, and posting while drunk to stripcreator.com. I guess I'll find out tomorrow if this was amusing or not.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

...so were they pissed when you didn't die?

They knew I wasn't going to die. I was given a wish anyway because cancer is a horrendous thing to have to experience, especially when you're a kid.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I wonder what they could dream up if you asked to go up into space with one of the shuttle missions. I read somewhere that it costs around $10,000 a pound to get something into orbit. Think they could swing that?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I think you get Pizza hut pizza and an Infinity

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

I think you'd get a NASA patch, a centrifugal ride in the "spinny" chair, and one of those bags of space ice cream which never cease to taste like ass.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I don't know about the space shuttle thing, but chances are that it would be denied. I do know that there was a rule against wishing for motor vehicles.

My original wish was the "Big Red Boat" cruise package that was a cruise for 4 days and Disney/Epcot for 3 days. They considered that to be 2 wishes, and offered me the Village of the Damned package instead. *shrug*

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I personally think the cancer was worth it, just for that funny ass line. I got the clap and the only comic idea I got out of it was an unfunny knock knock joke. It went like this:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
It burns when I pee!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

[Click to view comic: 'wes craven's make a wishmaster foundation']

Deja vu.

I personally think the cancer was worth it, just for that funny ass line. I got the clap and the only comic idea I got out of it was an unfunny knock knock joke. It went like this:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
It burns when I pee!

I told you when we were in Mexico that you shouldn't bone that skanky bum we tripped over in the alley, even if he was only charging $3. But no, you said you knew what you were doing.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

New Slogan: "Herpes!!! Just FEEL the Love!"

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

I just couldn't resist that fine bum ass of his. I still think of his loving smell whenever I pick lint out of my belly button.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Yeah, he was pretty cute, wasn't he?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

You'll never forget me.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

And it's about this time that I noticed the bum stood four stories high, and I said, "Damn you monster! What do you want from me?!"

And the monster said, "I could use about three fity."

Three fity.

Anyone get that ref? If not, just assume I forgot my ritalin again.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

It's Chef's dad.

What did I win?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Three fity. Or a four-hour hot oil massage from gabe's mom. (Equivalent value.)

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.