ROD DAMNED INTERNET EXPLORER! AAARGH! Why must you make me look like a hyperactive idiot?

GRAAGH! I hope someone at Microsoft gets cornholed for this...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Captain Obvious' Final Swim by kaufman 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. Farewell, old chum.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Passing Calculus by kaufman 1-27-03

October Here are the grades from your first test. All of you did poorly, except for Ellen here, who had a perfect score. January On your midterm exams, Ellen and everyone who sits next to her did excellent, those sort of near her did average, and the rest of the class flunked. May Congratulations! You all aced your finals. My A'ness is bleeding.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 167: Who's on Call? by kaufman 1-27-03

White House Emergency Medical Hot Line, how may I help you? My anus is bleeding. Colon? No, it's me, George, the President. And my anus is bleeding. Where's the bleeding coming from? Colon? No, dammit, I'm not Powell, I'm Bush. B-U-S-H, and my anus is bleeding.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Will come up with something fresh and original later maybe, if I can be bothered.

For now though I'll just do the obvious one first.

CC167: The Usual Suspects by TheGovernor 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding Ive rounded up the usual suspects, can you see the perp in the lineup? Wehn a man loevs a woman... Rarr!

Ow, My Sheep! by Namgubed 1-27-03

BAA-A-A!! Are you felching with sheep again? No, of course not! BAA-A-A!! Then what's that sound? ... My anus is bleating. BAA-A-A!! Well, it looks like SOMEone gave you a good ass-ramming. Shut up.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC 167: Mr. Bug by Trippingbillee 1-27-03

Hello, Mr. Bug. Hello, young man. Say, Mr. Bug. Do you have any Gray Poupon? No, but my anus is bleeding. And my blood is grey. So, feasibly, I could poop on my blood. "Gray Poop-on." Get it? Do you even have an anus? Its the same thing as my mouth.

May I add that I am not proud of certain things I have done.

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Sex Piano.

CC167: That old gag by maddog00 1-27-03

Hey, if you went camping and you found vaseline on your ass, would you tell anyone? What? Uhh, no... Wanna go camping? Sure. My anus is bleeding.

Funny Pharmacy by boorite 1-27-03

Some of these items had no prices marked... No problem, sir. PRICE CHECK ON PREPARATION H! THAT'S RIGHT, EVERYONE! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING! GETCHER STEAMING GOUTS OF ASS BLOOD OVER HERE! Jeez, alright, I get the picture. Sorry. I'm a little touchy abou-- PRICE CHECK ON TROJAN XLs AND ASTRO-GLIDE!

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What others say about boorite!

David Owwwwie! by kaufman 1-27-03

Ground Control to Major Tom, come in Major Tom. Here am I, sitting in a tin can, far above the world. Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do ... ... BECAUSE MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Vicious Cycle by Namgubed 1-27-03

YOUR ANUS IS BLEEDING. My anus is bleeding? YES. Good! That means I'm OK for another month! RAAR!!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC 167: 1930's radio mix by boorite 1-27-03

Whooo-eee! I'se sho 'nuff glad ah foun' you, boss! What's the matter, Andy? Mah Amos is bleedin'!

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What others say about boorite!

cc 167: Razing the steaks by boorite 1-27-03

Here you are, sir-- Black Angus sirloin, well done, with haricots verts au creme-bryl. Thanks, garson. Now just a dang... well done? MY ANGUS IS BLEEDING!

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What others say about boorite!

I can taste victory. And it tastes like....

CC 167: Ducks only club by boorite 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding.

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What others say about boorite!

When I read the rules to this contest I figured an entry in good taste was probably impossible... and after reading all these puns I see I was correct.

Here are some comics in a different sort of bad taste.

CC 167: Anally Bleeing Guy | by not_Scyess 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. You're new to this whole "job interview" thing, aren't you? Well, if that doesn't set me apart from the other candidates, I'm not sure I want to work here, anyway.

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy || by not_Scyess 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. Read my lips: PAPER OR PLASTIC? Read my lips! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy ||| by not_Scyess 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. Um, are you SURE Dr. Nicolson wanted you to accept his Nobel Prize for chemistry in his place? MY... ANUS... IS... BLEEDING!!!!!

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy |V by not_Scyess 1-27-03

If myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands! *CLAP! CLAP!* If myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands! *CLAP! CLAP!* ...all I'm saying is you could've picked someone better to lead the camp sing-along. If myanusisbleeding and you know it, and the blood is really flowin', if myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands! *CLAP! CLAP!*

CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy V by not_Scyess 1-27-03

We have cloned an army of hyperintelligent kangaroos to invade the earth! All humans will dispair when they hear their terrible battle cry! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!! What? That's the battle cry? Dammit, that's not right. When I find out who's responsible for this... Heh heh...

[Click to view comic: 'CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy V|']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy V||']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy V]|[']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 167: Anally Bleeding Guy |X']
[Click to view comic: 'Anally Bleeding Guy X']

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

i like it

Home Schooling Becomes More Popular by Namgubed 1-27-03

All right, class, our next problem deals with finding the cosine of - Jason Johnson! Front and center! Have you been murdering your fellow students again? No, ma'am ... um, my anus is bleeding. Oh. Well, you had better go and see the school nurse. Whoa, I pulled that one right out of my ass.

Barn Trek by Namgubed 1-27-03

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Agricultural Enterprise ... Fascinating, Captain ... What is it, Spock? ... its ongoing mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations ... As we travel from our solar system at warp speed, the "red shift" effect makes it appear that Uranus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding?! ... to boldly go where no livestock has gone before! Bones! Do something! Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a ... um ... aye, Captain.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC 167: temptation by illyanadmc 1-27-03

want to go again? sure, i think i'm all rested up. okay. i'll go get the lube. oh, there's no need for that this time. what do you mean? my anus is bleeding.

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all your retarded comics are belong to me.

a slight variation:

CC 167: doctor's appointment by illyanadmc 1-27-03

okay, time for your prostate exam! alright. i'll go get prepared. okay. just so you know, there's no need for lubrication this time, doc. and why's that? my anus is bleeding.

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all your retarded comics are belong to me.

CC167: The Phantom Menace by TheGovernor 1-27-03

Ext. Coruscant Spaceport Qui Gon, Ive been wondering, what are Midichlorians? Why they are tiny lifeforms that work in harmony with you and allow you to use the force, and you Anakin have quite a few of them Well Master Kenobi said I needed some of his "special" Jedi Midichlorians pumped inside of me to help bring balance to the force, but I think there is a problem What's the matter Anni? My anus is bleeding Obi-Wan!!!!

CC 166:When You Get This Feeling You Want Contextual Healing by bonwag 1-27-03

It says here that the reason King George III was a mad bugger was because of a bio-chemical disorder called porphyria. Gorry! That sounds velly tellible. The stupid thing is, it's hereditary. So while the royals kept intermarrying, it stayed in the family. My! Heinous inbreeding! I rivv for my art.

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exit, pursued by a bear

CC 167: Dr Pedantic Is In This Comic On The Right Hand Side by bonwag 1-27-03

Can you help? That's stupid. An anus is just an opening... it can't bleed. You're talking about a rectum or a sphincter. Or a colon. No, no, you mis-heard. I said "My ..uh.. neice is bleeding". Oh, gee, sorry. Yeah, sure, let's go help her. What happened? This I'm not going anywhere with you.

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exit, pursued by a bear

Sorry, I still have a hangover from CC 166.

CC 167: Anus Only Club + Tribute To Johnny Hart by umfumdisi 1-27-03

My anus is bleeding. Ducks got anuses?? Hey, everybody! Ducks got anuses!

The last panel is the tribute to Johnny Hart because of a B.C. comic I read once where the cave guy is listening in on a conversation in the ant hole. One ant is counting the "toes" of a younger ant and using the "piggies" method. Upon hearing the ant say, "This little piggy...," the cave guy realizes that ants have "piggies." He turns and shouts his newly acquired knowledge to no one in particular.

Of course, ants don't have toes, but that comic and phrase has stuck in my mind for years--"Ants got piggies!" The curse is now yours.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

cc 167: No Pigs In Zen? by umfumdisi 1-27-03

Hey, Brad? What? Why aren't there any pig characters to choose from here at stripcreator? You mean besides the forumusers? Did we just rip ourselves? Yeah, my anus is bleeding.