Did you mean the Robot from Exploding Dog? No Robot that I can find in kofightclub. But I could be wrong.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Sigh. I knew I'd screw something up. Yes, it's the Exploding Dog robot.

Clango and Tobor will enter later.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I just got here today. What the fuck am I doing?

ok, i got it.

Battle Royal: BigEvilDan vs. Bug. Who shall win? by boinky33 8-19-03

FEEL MY WRATH! MU HA HA HA HA HA!!!! STOMP! Shit.

poor bug...

hey, i got jerkcity again, is that some sort of hint? ;)

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

i got someone holding alcohol again. i think kaufman's just using this exhibition as a way of hurling veiled insults at us (:

Boozer vs. Robo2 (1) by habnem 8-19-03

. greetings . human . i . am . defenestron . 4000 . prepare . to . die . Hmm... do I have a choice in the matter? . no . i . am . specifically . engineered . to . kill . humans . Only by defenestration, or do you have other modi operandi? . stop . stalling . my . friend . ghost . got . killed . that . way . Fine, but before you kill me, don't you want to know what's in the bag?

Boozer vs. Robo2 (2) by habnem 8-19-03

. curiosity . is . my . one . weakness . what's . in . the . bag . Nothing, sucker! . stupid . human . thinks . he . can . outrun . me . AAAAARGH! . asshole . you . tripped . over . my . cord .. and ... unplugged .... it ..... And I found a robot disassembly kit, too. I'd call that Deus Ex Machineshop... if I were that clever, anyway.

---
- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Updated brackets can now be accesed at one easy location.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

2: T-Shark 1 by crabby 8-20-03

**KNOCK KNOCK** Yes, who's there? candygram........ I didn't order a candygram. flower delivery...... I'm allergic to tulips.

2: T-Shark 2 by crabby 8-20-03

landshark......... Land shark? Well, in that case come right in! OH MY STARS! I THOUGHT THAS WAS JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH! That was some scare.

Dragon vs. Cat (1) by mmyers 8-20-03

Me, the magic dragon, lived by the sea, and frolicked in the autumn mist...boy, I sure could go for a frolic in the autumn mist right now. Think I'll put on my trunks and... Waitaminute...today's August 20th...my birthday...I'm 40 years old today. Happy August 20th, 2003, Kitty. Any plans for the day? Oh, I thought I'd lay in the sun, maybe stretch...wait. Did you say that it was August 20, 2003? Oh dear...

Dragon vs. Cat (2) by mmyers 8-20-03

*Knock, knock* Who's there? I'm a 7 foot tall dragon. I'm here to see Kitty. Can I help you? Yes... *Gulp* Thank you. You were delicious. I'll let myself in, thank you. Here Kitty, Kitty.

Dragon vs. Cat (3) by mmyers 8-20-03

Puff, what is the meaning of this? It's my fortieth birthday. I've come to take you up on our little deal. Oh, Puff, we made that deal a long time ago. Surely, you didn't think... We agreed in middle school that if neither of us were married by the time we were forty that we'd marry each other. I'm not married, you're not married... But I have a home, and a life, and an owner who rubs my ears and gives me milk... Yeah, about that owner of yours...*urp*...say, you wouldn't happen to have an antacid laying around, would ya?

Dragon vs. Cat (4) by mmyers 8-20-03

So you see, Kitty, I have no other options. I've waited my whole life to...ugh, I feel horrible. Well, what have you eaten, you know, besides my owner? Just the usual. I found a herd of cattle on the way to your house, so I ate them, but nothing out of the ordinary. You don't look so good, Puff. Maybe you should sit down. *THUMP* Oh dear...

Dragon vs. Cat (5) by mmyers 8-20-03

So then he fell down dead and so I cut open his stomach and out came you and a bunch of cattle, and that's what happened, Ken. Well, Puff had obviously never heard that age old saying... "Stripper before steer, you're in the clear; steer before stripper, never sicker." Maybe I should have left him in there.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Am I doing both Asian girls?

Yes, I'm aware of what I'm asking.

---
Dad was flammable

Lucky bastard.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

quote:

---

Am I doing both Asian girls?

Yes, I'm aware of what I'm asking.

---

Blasphemy!

Blasphemy!

The Union army is a combined entry.

The Confederate army is a combined entry.

If they meet, it won't be until the quarterfinals or later.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Thanks for clearing that up.

Dexx vs. Robot by fuzzyman 8-20-03

It's the Australian Idol final round! Who will be the winner? MC Dexx, or JukeBot 2000? Okay, boys... sing! *ahem* *click* Hurry, don't be late, I can hardly wait, I said to myself when we're old. We'll go dancing in the dark, walking through the park and reminiscing.... I'm all out of love! I'm so lost without you! I know you were right believing for so long! I'm all out of love! What am I without you? I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong! What's this? It appears that JukeBot has self-destructed from singing an Air Supply song! A bold and risky move that didn't pay off. Dexx is our winner! Silly robot, you cannot defeat Little River Band.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

alien3 (kaddar) vs. spigot (jerkcity):

Battlefield Mirth 01 by umfumdisi 8-21-03

Before we enjoin our deathly combat, let us "shake hands" in the manner of your people. i don't shake, baby, i groove! Even though I studied your language on my journey to this Battle World, I do not comprehend this idiom. i'm gonna call you Four Corners, man, cause you're so square Attempted pleasantries have failed. Let us annihilate each other like uncivilized lifeforms! *snap* let the dance begin, FC.

Battlefield Mirth 02 by umfumdisi 8-21-03

Even though my Matter-Scatter device is invisible to human eyes, it is powered and ready. Gentlemen, prepare your weapons. You will walk five paces, turn, and do battle. Yes, my beatnik garb makes me semi-invisible at night, and FC will succumb to the entrancing beat of my bongos which I'm holding just below your line of sight. BEGIN!!

Battlefield Mirth 03 by umfumdisi 8-21-03

Five! four...what's next, man? there's only FOUR beats!

Battlefield Mirth 04 by umfumdisi 8-21-03

How could I be so far off-target? The Matter-Scatter requires hours to re-energize! Well, he's not large--I'll just go strangle him. bong, bong, bon-ga--bonga, bong-bong-bong, bonk! might as well turn around, man. heavy, he's coming this way. time for operation Bongo-Beat.

Battlefield Mirth 05 by umfumdisi 8-21-03

As the night turns to morning... Damn that ceaseless beat--I must DANCE! *bong, bong, bon-ga--bonga, bong-bong-bong, bonk!* ---------------------- now i'll lay a little poetry on him to finish the job. "Shake A Tail Feather, Shake-it, Shake-it, Shake-it, Shake-it, Baby!" the uni-verse is me, you dig - the earth, the stars, the sky so big - i'm all up in eternity - because my mind is super-free! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! passive resistance is cool, baby.

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

mmyers, why did you make me read so much comicry for that one punchline? damn you!

(by the way, everone is still really funny. there hasn't been this much sustained humor in a thread ever. i love being alive.)

---
- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Oddly enough, Habnem, I never start out with the punch line. I had the story in my head, sort of, and then as I closed in on the end, I thought, "I should sum up this whole thing" so I began trying to think of a joke to sum it all up, and voila, that horrible paraphrased pun sprung to mind. Also, I like to think that my comics say , "Sit a spell, kick your shoes off, have a glass of tea, it's going to take me awhile to get to my point." I blame my southern upbringing.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

The New Adventures of Fuzzyman - Email Supervisor - Part 1 by kramer_vs_kramer 8-20-03

Hi, can I help you? Si, Senor Fuzzy. I am suffering los intermittent network problems on el mail server. I see... Which department did you say you worked in? Umm... El departmento dos human resources? I don't remember Human Resources hiring a matador. I am el new senor manager.

The New Adventures of Fuzzyman - Email Supervisor - Part 2 by kramer_vs_kramer 8-20-03

I can't believe human resources hired that greasy Spaniard. They knew I wanted that position. Anything to get out of this IT department. Well, I'm not standing for this. I'm going to write a really stern letter to the CEO. On second thoughts, I think I'll just stab the bastard.

The New Adventures of Fuzzyman - Email Supervisor - Part 3 by kramer_vs_kramer 8-20-03

You wanted to speak to me, Senor Fuzzy? Yes. You know fine well that job was mine. And I'll have to take it off you. By force, if necessary. I'm sorry, Senor Fuzzy. I am too busy just now. You'll have to deal with my personal assistant. Personal assistant? Ah.

The New Adventures of Fuzzyman - Email Supervisor - Part 4 by kramer_vs_kramer 8-20-03

So... you're the personal assistant. Moo. You seem a lot smarter than the last one.

The New Adventures of Fuzzyman - Email Supervisor - Part 5 by kramer_vs_kramer 8-22-03

Did you hear? They fired that new Spanish guy! Really? What happened? The boss saw the weblogs, and apparently he spent fourteen hours per day looking at www.bullsemen.com. Say... this wouldn't be anything to do with you, would it? No. I was just going to put laxatives in his coffee.

Despite Bear's earlier demise, he appears in this series:

SC Death Stories: Default Default Default by KajunFirefly 8-22-03

I'm afraid the results aren't good, Miss Two, it appears you have contracted many, many STD, they're fighting to kill you from the ovaries outwards. Oh, how awful. So you're retiring? Well, that's one way to put it, another way to put it is that my filthy rotting diseased cunt flaps have poisoned my body. You've been hanging around with redbrute too long. Drink me off, cum guzzler.

SC Death Stories: Default Default Default by KajunFirefly 8-22-03

Hello Horse, I was wondering if you'd like to take my place as the default character, you see, I'm dying... WONDERFULL! We've been dreaming of this day for years! Uh, "we"? Yeah, me and bear, why? Oh, well, asiangirl1 isn't going anywhere, it'd just be you and her. Wow, usually there's at least 4 of us trying to find an opening.

SC Death Stories: Default Default Default by KajunFirefly 8-22-03

This is so nice of you to run me a bath, Horse, I think we're really going to get on well together. Yes, still, it's a pity Bear wont get to join me on the default page. Well, if anything happens to me, he'll be first in line. Hey, what oils did you put in this water? I didn't put any oils in the water, that's the same bath I ran for asiangirl2 before you. Sucky sucky? Shut up.

SC Death Stories: Default Default Default by KajunFirefly 8-22-03

---
Dad was flammable

Battle Royale by BigEvilDan 8-22-03

Hey, who are you? I am Cthulhu. I have risen from the darkest depths of the earth to devour your soul. *CHOMP* Sigh. His soul is going straight to my thighs.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Kaufman, you never sent me a message that this thing had actually started. I'm sad now. :(

Never mind, I just re-read the original PM. I don't know why I'd expected a message later.

Oh well.

Dogonaball vs Crabby by Drexle 8-23-03

Mwahaha! I'm at grandmother's house! Now all I have to do is dispose of the little old bint, and wait for my precious riding hood! Who's there? Ahem... It's me, Grandma! Little red riding hood! Oh! The door is unlocked, dearie. You can come in. Hello there, granny. Little red, my precious angel... What in the name of cock took you so long to get here, you little whore?!

Dogonaball vs Crabby by Drexle 8-23-03

My, what a big mouth you have. All the better to suck your dick, my dear! What? Wait, I thought you don't... Shhhh! I'm trying to break my typecast here.

Dogonaball vs Crabby by Drexle 8-24-03

My, what big ears you have, Little Red! All the better to hear you with, my dear. And what a big.. uh... baby, you've got there, Grandma. What? Are you sayin' little junior's too big to be grampy's son? I swear, the woodsman was just here to put a log in the fireplace I bet he was. Hmm... what big balls you have there, Little Red.

Dogonaball vs Crabby by Drexle 8-24-03

Well, they are a great way to get around. With balls like those, I bet you do get around... my little grand daughter is really growing up... W-w-what's that supposed to mean? Well I'm just saying that you couldnl cover a lot of ground with balls like those. Explore all kinds of hidden valleys and whatnot. What kind of granny are you? The best granny you've ever had. *wink*

Dogonaball vs Crabby by Drexle 8-24-03

Say, those are some big glasses you have there, grandma. All the better to see you with, my dear. You know, I think you need new prescriptions, because I'm not Little Red, and you're sure as Hell not my Grandma. *Gasp!* After_everything_I've done for you? You still can't accept me in your heart after all these years? Well fine. You can just fucking eat me, you ungrateful whore! CHOMP!!! I was waiting for you to say that.