Okay, yeah. On your suggestion, I read some of the entries (even decided to check out the first few)... Of the first 242 "signatures", only 8 remain -- the rest have been voided as "false entries".

It's good that sensibility does, indeed, prevail.

(I still say the originator is clueless.)

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This is not my empire.

Blow shit up.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

That rocks!

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Dad was flammable

Took his fucking time... Jack Chick finally speaks out against the horror that is Harry Potter.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

**blink blink**

Tarot Cards? Ouija boards? Crystal balls?

I must have missed that part.

**rummages through his Harry Potter books**

Nope. Not here.

**scratches head**

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This is not my empire.

No tarot or ouija, but the crystal balls are in there - book four, divination classes.

Of course, saying that something in a book will automatically be taken up by any child that reads it probably exmplains the sudden deluge of youthful sleuths who popped up during the peak in popularity of Enid Blyton's Famous Five...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Yeah, when I read those Tolkien books back in the 6th grade, I immediately ran out and got myself a Balrog and tied it out in the front yard. It was not only ungodly but dangerous.

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What others say about boorite!

Ah, yes. Divination class. But if the girls wanted "Harry's Powers" then why bother with crystal balls? That was the one area he had no talent in -- he didn't believe in it. (My point is that Mr Chick obviously didn't read the books before he made this huge assumption. I did forget about the crystal ball in Divination because to me the tournament was the important part of book 4.)

Enid Blyton -- for some reason I'm remembering a series called the Secret Seven. Did she write both? Or was Secret 7 the Sorcerer's Stone of its time? :)

I remember that after I read Cujo I went right out and bought a rabid St Bernard. Interestingly, he trapped my mom in a car with my baby sister.

I miss that mutt.

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This is not my empire.

...but not as much as you miss your sister, I hope.

Enid Blyton wrote about a few number-related child-sleuth groups. The Famous Five are the most, well, famous - they got a TV series, after all. The Secret Seven were another, and she wrote one or two about the Adventurous Four.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Don't forget The Overcrowded (Hey, Get Off My Toe!) Four Hundred Fifty Thousand, Three Hundred Seventeen.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The ones Jack Chick doesn't warn us about... by DexX 5-09-02

Jenny, I just heard that young impressionable young people will take things in books too literally, and try to emulate them! Oh no... I gave Tommy some of my old Enid Blyton books. There must have been twenty Famous Five novels in there... we have to stop him! Ah-ha!!! My friends and I have defeated your plan to rob the post office, you bad man! Now we're going to- Mum? What are you doing here? I'm here to help you, Tommy. We have to cure you of this terrible urge you have to eat pressed tongue and solve crimes with your friends... Well, I'm glad all of that has been sorted out. From now on, you'll only be reading recognised literary classics. Ooohh... Lord of the Flies! Cool!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Ow! It hurt!

(No, I mean it. I seem to have a cold or something... and when I laughed so hard at that strip, it sent me into a fit of coughing, and it hurt.)

Shame on you, DexX!

(And keep up the good work!)

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This is not my empire.

sweet release

makes wirthling's life tastier

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

I downloaded and watched Harry Potter. It's a nice bit of fluff. I haven't seen any kids running about with sticks saying "wingardian leviosa" or trying to ride their mother's O'Cedar brooms, however. Bit of a shame, too. I mean.... aint that what kids are suposed to be doing? Pretending and playing and eating paste?

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

quote:

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sweet release

makes wirthling's life tastier

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I love soccer.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

quote:

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sweet release

makes wirthling's life tastier

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I want to know who the fuck they used for product testing.

"How is this batch?"

*glub* "Shtill tchoo shalty..." *glub*

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

http://www.mycfnow.com/orlpn/news/stories/news-144787020020509-080518.html

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

quote:

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quote:

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This week I was contacted by an Amazon woman. She said she was considering allowing me to do her bidding. She in term sent me to another who questioned me to see if I am worthy.

If all goes well I might be working for amazon.com in a month or two. Or I may starve. Whatever.

Wish me luck.

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good luck!

Tell the amazon woman if she doesn't hire you, you'll cut off her other breast*.

*{explain joke} It's said that the mythical Amazons were such good archers because they would remove a breast so that it would not interfere with the ability to pull the bow string beside the chest.*{/explain joke}

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Syringe sweets cause concern
[url=http://news.lycos.com/news/story.asp?n_1.0=1§ion=MyLycos&pitem=MEDIA%2DPENTHOUSE&rev=20020514&pub_tag=REUTG]Sunbather mistaken for Kournikova due to nipples
[/url]
Government giving out bad pot

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

quote:

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[url=http://news.lycos.com/news/story.asp?n_1.0=1§ion=MyLycos&pitem=MEDIA%2DPENTHOUSE&rev=20020514&pub_tag=REUTG]Sunbather mistaken for Kournikova due to nipples
[/url]

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Try here

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/tennis/news/2002/05/14/kournikova_penthouse/

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I wish every case of mistaken identity revolved around the issue of nipple diameter.

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What others say about boorite!

Y'know if u come into the police station and they ask u to identify blah blah blah on a computer? They should do the same with nipples, according to diameter, length and....Bigginess.