Disclaimers... None of these are mine, and I may have already posted these a while back. But they still crack me up.

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts--I rejoice
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy--come to kill us
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend--come to kill us
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Meter man--come to kill us
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man--come to kill us
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat--come to kill us
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot
Sniff of this and weep.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I'm so ecstatic I have
Made a big puddle.

I hate my choke chain--
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot--no greater bliss--
Maybe catching cats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.

The cat is not all
Bad--she fills the litter box
Little Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence--why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am you best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

My owners' mood is
Romantic--I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Flames lick the night sky
The baguettes are all ablaze
Now France surrenders

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What others say about boorite!

I think this thread rocks
Just to annoy some fuckheads
I bumped it so there.

There's a girl I like.
But she won't ever date me.
That frigid crack-whore.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Blah blah politics.
Blah blah George W. Bush.
Blah blah fucking cock.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

12345 1234567 12345 by theReverend 12-04-05

Haikus? What the fuck? Whose lame idea was this? evil_d? ...douchebag.

"Thanks, fag." may have worked better for that last part.

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8===D

the greys take me up
in their spaceship to probe me
the bug-eyed butt freaks

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What others say about boorite!

There once was a man
From Nantucket whose dick was
So long, he sucked it

Sorry, that wasn't very hateful.

Man from Nantucket
Likes to embellish his cock
He's a sad fucker

Man from Nantucket
Bitten by snake says to self:
"You're gonna die, boy."

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I play with my balls
My weiner squirts white hot goo
I sleep for a bit

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I dumb :D