Why Max Cannon Has A Restraining Order Out On Me by israphael 10-19-01

It's funny, a lot of women to come into my bedroom, but rarely do I get any to sleep with me. Not after they find out I have a really large penis. I keep it mounted in a frame hanging over my bed.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

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"i am not a cook"

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"i am not a cook" .:McNugget:.

Ok ppl what did i do wrong there /\ ??

(yes im a dumbass!!)

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"i am not a cook" .:McNugget:.

I got it, damn # sign....... bah. anyway heres my entry. A bit of a poem:

Is this a low blow? maybe, maybe not. CC76 by McNugget 11-03-01

My momma has no legs at all So on the ground is where she crawls Her head is big, her feet are small Her ass is fat, she has no balls She watches telly on the floor.... Thats not your momma, thats Al Gore.....

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"i am not a cook"

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"i am not a cook" .:McNugget:.

GGrrrrr...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Grrrrr eh?

i take it that you dont approve of my very warped sense of humour?

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"i am not a cook" .:McNugget:.

quote:

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Grrrrr eh?
i take it that you dont approve of my very warped sense of humour?

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quote:

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Grrrrr eh?

i take it that you dont approve of my very warped sense of humour?

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but jesse helms doesnt rhyme with floor.... :)

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"i am not a cook" .:McNugget:.

CC 76: Skeetnick by kaufman 11-03-01

Pull! *whoosh* Whoa, I am like so high! doot doot doo doo ... Damn, missed.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 76: Skeet the Beatles by kaufman 11-03-01

Pull! *WHOOSH* o/` It's been a ... hard ... day's ... night!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

And while I'm submitting derivative crap ...

Cowboy Fizzle by kaufman 11-03-01

So I said, "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves." Heh heh. Hey Clem, why did we decide to vacation in London? I can't even see you in this fog.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

not an entry, but apropos nonetheless:

from the secret files of max kaufman by habnem 11-03-01

So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" What? . . . And then I ran over your cat. I hate you, Cowboy Dan.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Excellent comics, all. Also, kudos for catching that background2 was acceptable. Something I had overlooked.

Okay, judgment time. There were seven comics I liked. So I went through, reread them and there were three that made me laugh just as hard on reread. Those three, in no particular order, are:

CC 76: This is not absurd by Drexle 10-31-01

Fuck, I'm surrounded!!!

Perception vs. Exception by itsclark 11-01-01

Once again, look at the ink-blot and tell me what you see. Any idiot can see two beatniks in a darkened room... ADRIFT IN A SEA OF CRIMSON BLOOD AND YELLOW FLAMES DEMONIC GREEN EYES BLAZING WITH DEATH-HATE!!

CC76: An Olde-Tyme Humor-Strippe In Glorious Mono-Chrome by lemur68 11-01-01

So this Friday last, myself and the great Honus Wagner, he of the gentle-man's sport of Base-ball, away to the tavern to partake of a fine pilsener.... and we are regaling with jests about the Negro and the Irishman, and tales of dalliances with women of loose virtue.... when a hap-less interloper interrupts to say that our jests smelt of the diarrhoea of one thousand Chinee with the malaria, infused with that of a thousand African bushmen with the tse-tse disease. Not one to suffer a jape at my expense, Honus and I proceed to taunt the poor lad with allegations of being a homo-sexual and a pederast. He then attempts to engage us in a bout of fisticuffs. How-ever, he is undone when Honus delivers a finishing blow with his brick-bat, dis-patching our would-be pugilist with a well-placed strike betwixt the ocular membranes. Defeated, he shouts a vulgar epithet in our direction before shambling to the in-firmary with a cleft brain-pan.

It was a tough choice, but I finally decided on.....

Little lower...

Jesus, you scroll like an old woman...

CC76: An Olde-Tyme Humor-Strippe In Glorious Mono-Chrome by lemur68 11-01-01

So this Friday last, myself and the great Honus Wagner, he of the gentle-man's sport of Base-ball, away to the tavern to partake of a fine pilsener.... and we are regaling with jests about the Negro and the Irishman, and tales of dalliances with women of loose virtue.... when a hap-less interloper interrupts to say that our jests smelt of the diarrhoea of one thousand Chinee with the malaria, infused with that of a thousand African bushmen with the tse-tse disease. Not one to suffer a jape at my expense, Honus and I proceed to taunt the poor lad with allegations of being a homo-sexual and a pederast. He then attempts to engage us in a bout of fisticuffs. How-ever, he is undone when Honus delivers a finishing blow with his brick-bat, dis-patching our would-be pugilist with a well-placed strike betwixt the ocular membranes. Defeated, he shouts a vulgar epithet in our direction before shambling to the in-firmary with a cleft brain-pan.

Congratulations, lemur68! The third and fourth panel had me rolling. Have fun with the next contest.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

And let me be the first to welcome back the colors...

The Revolution will not be Colorized by ObiJo 11-03-01

A black and white world? I'm scared, Russ. Hold me. Lighten up, lil guy. That vortex behind us is bringing all the color back to this joint. So just sit back, relax, and smoke some magenta with me. Look at it all flow back. Like some polluted river. Guess we're back to being second-class citizens around here. I HATE HUEBIES!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Post contest entry

Backstreet Boys: Behind the Music. by NastyPope 11-03-01

LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - LA - Okie Dokie fellas, nice rehearsal, here are you juice boxes!!!

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Blast, and confound it. Foiled again!

At least I seem to be making my way into the honorable mentions with greater regularity.

quote:

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CC76: An Olde-Tyme Humor-Strippe In Glorious Mono-Chrome by lemur68 11-01-01

So this Friday last, myself and the great Honus Wagner, he of the gentle-man's sport of Base-ball, away to the tavern to partake of a fine pilsener.... and we are regaling with jests about the Negro and the Irishman, and tales of dalliances with women of loose virtue.... when a hap-less interloper interrupts to say that our jests smelt of the diarrhoea of one thousand Chinee with the malaria, infused with that of a thousand African bushmen with the tse-tse disease. Not one to suffer a jape at my expense, Honus and I proceed to taunt the poor lad with allegations of being a homo-sexual and a pederast. He then attempts to engage us in a bout of fisticuffs. How-ever, he is undone when Honus delivers a finishing blow with his brick-bat, dis-patching our would-be pugilist with a well-placed strike betwixt the ocular membranes. Defeated, he shouts a vulgar epithet in our direction before shambling to the in-firmary with a cleft brain-pan.

Congratulations, lemur68! The third and fourth panel had me rolling. Have fun with the next contest.

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Another contest. Another stomping. by Spankling 11-04-01

You were pretty confident of your defeat in this one, weren't you? Oh yes! I had it in the crapper from the gate. Must have been relaxing. About the same, really. But at least you dropped out of the Cup as my opponent, so maybe I have a chance there. Oh I don't actually need to submit something to defeat you. How true *wink*

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet