AND HERE MY FRIENDS, IS A COMIC MAKING LIGHT OF THE SITUATION AT HAND... LAUGH DAMMIT, LAUGH!

CC 99: HOORAY FOR INTOLERANCE DAY! by djsparkydog 2-12-02

Hi, Bob Robertson here on the 42nd annual "I'm Killing You In The Name Of Religion" Day! Alright you little heathen, I'm gonna part your head like Moses, and then kick your ass till the Messiah finally comes. You DIE now... you not down with Zen! It's going to be exciting... Can you feel the tension, competition and hatred? I'm gonna whup your ass so bad there won't be nuthin left for the Holy Ghost to drop the elbow on! Oooohhhh... I'd be scared if I didn't know God was dead, and our race was actually created by porcine space aliens from the planet Kleptok! Well that ends the 42nd annual "I'm Killing You In The Name Of Religion" Day... too bad everyone is dead.

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HAH! GORILLA, right there!

LOVE DAY by crabby 2-12-02

December 20th.......9:00 AM As Mayor of Bensenville I hear by declare this day to be Love Day. Mr. Mayor with all due respect Christmas is right around the corner why bother trying to introduce a new holiday now? This is Bensenville dammit! Santa hasn't visited us since we reopened all those Nazi death camps. Are you talking about the mini golf that your father opened up 23 years ago? You know damn well that I am! Now Bensenville celebrates love day and not christmas. Anyone found celebrating Christmas will be killed on site! Your mad! I'm going to make sure Santa comes to Bensenville this year then we can put this love day crap behind us.

LOVE DAY 2 by crabby 2-12-02

December 20th 9:10 AM I'm going to talk to Santa. I'm sure I can talk him into returning to Bensenville. The fat old man is living in the past. He doesn't understand how the world works today. Now I will introduce you to love day's mascots! INTRODUCING LOVE BUG AND THE DEMON LOVER

LOVE DAY 3 by crabby 2-12-02

December 20th 10:25 AM The love bug stings one person every year and then dies. The lucky one that is stung will love whatever I choose for the rest of their lives. The Demon Lover is from a world not unlike your own. However, I am unfamiliar with this foolish love you speak of. I unleash my cat on one unsuspecting citizen every year and they fall in love. Santa you have to return to Bensenville. The mayor has cancelled Christmas and replaced it with a bizarre new holiday called love day. I will slay him with my own to hands. My magic will overwhelm him from the inside out. His right wing politics are no match for my skills! But Santa................. I will return to Bensenville in exactly three days. When I return I shall slay the mayor!

LOVE DAY 4 by crabby 2-12-02

December 23rd...........10:23 AM Your gonna die mayor Santa is coming to town! Prepare to choke on my long winded speech filled with threats of terror and Bensenvilles past! I feel like I was stung by some sort of bee! You wanna do something some time. I got cat scratches all over me. Wanna go back to my place?

LOVE DAY 5 by crabby 2-12-02

December 24th.............1:37 PM Santa I'm pregnant! Your freaking huge! How'd you get so big so fast? I think there are divine sources behind this pregnancy. I'm worried. I think I'm going into labor right now! Shoot that bad boy out! December 25th.............12:00 AM Your father died during the birth but I suppose I'm your mother! You don't look like a virgin!

I wasn't that worried about getting details straight. The point was that Indiepete was a clueless, babbling fool who annoyed even god.

I did learn a bit about Pentecostals, though, in doing research for that crappy entry. I had never heard of Whit Sunday and Monday. I must have been sick that day of Sunday school.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

quote:

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I wasn't that worried about getting details straight. The point was that Indiepete was a clueless, babbling fool who annoyed even god.

I did learn a bit about Pentecostals, though, in doing research for that crappy entry. I had never heard of Whit Sunday and Monday. I must have been sick that day of Sunday school.

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What's that?

Happy Depraved Violence Day by Jabizo 2-13-02

The postal carrier is sure to love this gift. I'll just leave it by the mailbox as a nice thank you for being a good serviceman. Stop right there. I am Ponch. The immortal enforcer of Boxing Day! You dishonor my Holiday. What!? Get outta my way you hooligan. Go harrass your Grandma or something. I must uphold the true traditions of Boxing Day! Which means we must get naked and beat each other senseless using our fists as weapons. So all these years Dad was telling the truth... and I just thought he was an insane sadomasichist. Look, the Holiday is on the Calendar in Canada, Britain and Australia. What else could it be about?

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Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

What's that?

My guess is that it's something to do with Easter? Like Shrove Tuesday(Pancake day) and Ash Wednesday, excuse me if I'm wrong.

And people we're here to make comics and make everyone piss themselves, not throw buckets of hot water everywhere. Make love not war.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

What's that?

Oh, I figured it was a Pentecostal thing. Anyway, here's the story:

quote:

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Do you know what Whit Sunday and Whit Monday are? Most of the Christian Teens that I talk to don't know what Christian Holy Day Celebration they are. In fact, I am not sure that I have ever been in a Whit Sunday or Whit Monday Celebration.

Well - both days are a celebration of Pentecost, which in Greek, means the fiftieth day. Pentecost takes place 50 days after Easter, which is the Jewish feast of Shavuot. Whit Sunday and Monday have been celebrated since the 3rd Century AD. Many modern scholars believe that many of the traditions and celebrations were borrowed from pagan celebrations of the Spring.

Whit Sunday and Monday, or Pentecost celebrates the descent of the Holy Ghost, as documented in the Book of Acts (2:1 -11):

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. Utterly amazed, they asked: "Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs--we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!" (NIV)

While this is a celebration of the receiving of the Holy Spirit, the celebration does not come without controversy. Many churches debate what the Bible means by 'tongues' and its usage. Some churches believe that you must have this gift of the Spirit to be a Christian, or to show evidence of fulfillment of the Holy Spirit. Other denominations believe that it should be used privately, while others believe that it must be used publicly. Some believe that the gift of tongues is the ability to speak in other known human languages, while others believe that it is a language that only God can understand.

- Source: http://christianteens.about.com/library/weekly/aa060101a.htm

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That's called PENTACOST Sunday.

Or at least to everyone I know.

Religion Sucks anyway.

Im going to second a point Andy makes quite frequently , about CC's taking far too long to be judged nowadays. Running them for 24 hours , 48 hours at most is fine , but i think this has been running now for nearly 5 days.

Neovid. Put us out of our misery man. And whoever runs CC100 , put some kind of timescale on it.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

quote:

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quote:

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I wasn't that worried about getting details straight. The point was that Indiepete was a clueless, babbling fool who annoyed even god.

I did learn a bit about Pentecostals, though, in doing research for that crappy entry. I had never heard of Whit Sunday and Monday. I must have been sick that day of Sunday school.

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Indypete was obviously a Reform Pentecostal. With that denomination's discarding of certain old traditions that now seem irrelevant, they only celebrate Half Whit Monday.

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I like my last couple better.

I agree, I think they should be three days long. Because if it's a crap rule then you just have to wait a week till the next rule. The only good thing about this is if you have slow developing minds and don't come up with anything till after 4 days.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Is this hypocritical?

Stripcreator Day by Bazilla 2-13-02

Hi, to celebrate Stripcreator Day this year, we're going to offer sucky sucky's for half price! That's right! This will be after dipping our heads in water and trying to pull out Wirthlings in our mouth. Then we will have pin the tail on the Donkey Sodomy. And then have teh bigg3st rapping 3v3r. And then a game of Musical Statues while Gabe takes pictues. What's the point of that? I thought he would just be happy with the baby pics.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Fuck doesn't speak hax0r. So if you talk about rapping, say were going to haev teh bigist rapping evear!

At Least This Year I Didn't Wake Up in a Bathtub Full of Ice by israphael 2-14-02

St. Patrick's day started out as a religious holiday but has degenerated into a orgy of alcohol abuse. Glad you could make it to the party. I can't stay long. I have to get up early in the morning. I keep promising myself that I won't over do it. So I told the bitch... You've never had it so good! Whoa! I don't feel so good. You're looking a little green there, buddy. Why don't you lay down for a while? But every year it's the same thing. So this year, I thought we'd dress him up in black lace bra and panties. Yeah, and let's leave him in the girl's dressing room in the junior high school.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC99 - Happy Secretary's Day! by gabe_billings 2-14-02

As you know, Sharon, it's Secretary Appreciation Day tomorrow. Well, I'd certainly appreciate it if you came to work in a thong and spent your day hobbing my knob. You filthy mongrel. I'll do nothing of the sort! I suppose you'd rather not have a job that pays you $35 an hour to wear short skirts, paint your nails and answer the phone once in a while. Hmm.... Well? Would you prefer a black or red thong?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

CC99 - wirthling suxx0rz by gabe_billings 2-14-02

Happy wirthling sucks day! What should we do to Captain Fuckpants this year? Why, did you recently buy scuba gear? What do you mean? Last I checked, he was at the bottom of the Potomac with eighty pounds of concrete stuck to his feet. Is that what we did? I told you not to let me get so snotted! You beat me over the head with a shovel when I tried to take your bottle away.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Amazing how I'm a magnet for all this religious stuff.

Now, prepare to be judged, peons.

Thanks entirely to my brilliant rules, there were many standout entries for this contest, especially

Gift Giving: One of the first comics in a long time to really make me laugh.

A Very Jiggy Holiday: I expected a few like this, and I wasn't disappointed.

Irish Drinking Song: Someone used St Patrick's Day! Awright!

JermyNate's series: The Dr Pedantic impression was pretty funny.

Feast Your Eyes: Heh heh heh heh...

Hallmark Day: Ditto.

T3H Meaning: The King R0x0rs.

Now, as for the winner... I'd love it if Brad runs #100, but the official winner is Big Evil Dan for Gift Giving! Give yourself a big hand, and try to keep it out of your pants this time.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

I just had a chat with Brad. Sadly, he said he was too busy to run the contest, so I guess I'll have to run it. I'll post the new rules as soon as I think up a set that's suitable for the 100th contest.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

I had a great idea for a comic regarding the celebration of Franz Schubert's birthday.

Unfortunately, I didn't get around to finishing it.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Boooooo!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Of course I think of this a day late and after the deadline.

I Preferred Fat Tuesday by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 2-14-02

REMEMBER YOU ARE DUST AND TO DUST YOU SHALL RETURN, LITTLE MAN. Ouch! No more. It's hurts. Tobor, how can you do such things on the beginning of Christianity's holiest season. TOBOR IS DOING HIS PART TO MAKE TODAY HOLY. How do you figure? WELL, TODAY IS ASS WEDNESDAY.

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I'm half spit, by body weight.