Here's my first submission:

I guessJesus really hates those 'knock-knock' jokes... by jhonCASY 5-24-01

Knock-knock! what an ass

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jesus, that didn't work...let me try again:

WWJSay? by jhonCASY 5-24-01

My aim seems to be a bit off...

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...and another one, since I cant find any rules against two submissions:

I guessJesus really hates those 'knock-knock' jokes... by jhonCASY 5-24-01

Knock-knock! what an ass

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Guess who can't count?

CC 33 - More Luvin' by gabe_billings 5-29-01

Aren't you that guy that writes those cutsie sayings that churches put out front on their signs? That's me. '1 Cross - 3 Nails - 4 Given', was that one yours? Sure was. How about you change it to '1 Cross - 3 Nails - 8 big cans of whoopass I'm gonna open up when I get down from here'? I don't think that would fit.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Just because I've always wanted to think of OTHER reasons for his arms to be that way...

Why does he have his arms in the air, still? by PoKeE 5-29-01

Jesus at the pick-up bar... Well, I'm really into astrology and mysticism, not any of the big religions... I caught a fish this big! I don't like to date Christians. I'm hung like this. I've always wondered why he didn't fall off the cross... Let's go! C'mere and give me a big ole hug!

Good one!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

If Jesus was a Car Salesman by ObiJo 5-29-01

So I can get that beauty for only $6000? That's right, little lady. It has cruise control, tinted windows, and tons of trunk space. I'll take it! Ok, just...Oh, who am I kidding! They put sand in the gas tank and if you read the contract closely, the warranty expires upon purchase. I don't know what I was thinking when I hired that guy.

Ok, I am in hot pursuit looking for the funniest Jesus comic I've ever seen, but with over 19,000 comics I don't think I'll find it.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

who the hell won this anyway?

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

No one yet. Wait another 9 hours ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

You don't suppose ... by kaufman 5-30-01

This is great, I can't wait to try out my Microsoft Jesus! Oh no, it's hung up! THIS PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED AN UNRECOVERABLE ERROR.. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO RESTART YOUR SYSTEM IN APPROXIMATELY THREE DAYS.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The little annoyances of being nailed to a piece of wood by boorite 5-30-01

RIIIIING RIIIIING RIIIIING Will somebody PLEASE get that?

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Satan: Dark Lord, Image Consultant by boorite 5-30-01

OK, how about this one: "The King of Peace." That could work for you. I mean, you sure don't look like the King of Whoopass.

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I love 'em.

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Why did Tobor cross the road?

Because he had his dick stuck in the chicken!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

hahahahahahaha

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Not a contest entry, unless it wins.

I'll see you in 000C:52D3 by boorite 5-30-01

What the hell is THIS supposed to be? Take a guess. I give up. It's the Blue Screen of Death.

Technically this is kaufman's joke, but I'm stealing it.

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quote:

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Not a contest entry, unless it wins.

Technically this is kaufman's joke, but I'm stealing it.

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Damn! You beat me to that one by 0F days!

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CC 32 - Born Again by gabe_billings 5-30-01

What's the problem, Obi old man? All the guys in the locker room make fun of me because my schlong's the size of one of those baby carrots. Try this on for size. SHAZAAAM! Holy shit! I'm hung like John Holmes! Ha ha! Who's your saviour now, bitch! Damn, Jesus. You're one bad ass mofo! I'm goin' back to church!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Oh the joy of appropriate backgrounds. Two things tho.. one, how on earth is anyone other than Gabe gonna win? Two, HOW on earth is ANYONE gonna win?

WHERE ARE THE WINNERS?

Look, if someone doesn't show up and announce a winner soon, I'm gonna declare myself the winner and do contest 33 myself. So there. :-P

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MatthewEastaugh | He wanders.

WOW... The winner of this contest gets to call contest 33...

And how old was Jesus when He was crucified?

33!

COINCIDENCE??????????????

yes.

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Our good Lady J will be by shortly. Don't get your panties in a bundle. Or knickers. Or whatever the hell you limeys wear under your clothes.

quote:

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Judging will be uh... some time after 7pm CDT on Wednesday 5/30/01.

So there you go. Have at it!

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quote:

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Judging will be uh... some time after 7pm CDT on Wednesday 5/30/01.

So there you go. Have at it!

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Gabe, how ass-rammed is your theology? Jesus doesn't say "Shazam."

He says "BAM."

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Like this:

"I'm gonna kick this lame guy up a notch. BAM!"

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