As in Babylonia, the first Hittite month was that of first fruits, and, on its beginning, the gods determined the fates. Hittites were a member of an ancient Indo-European people who appeared in Anatolia (modern day Turkey) at the beginning of the 2nd millennium B.C.E.; by 1340 B.C.E. they had become one of the dominant powers of the Middle East. Probably originating from the area beyond the Black Sea, the Hittites first occupied central Anatolia, making their capital at Hattusa (modern Bogazköy). Early kings of the Hittite Old Kingdom, such as Hattusilis I (reigned c. 1650-c. 1620 B.C.E.), consolidated and extended Hittite control over much of Anatolia and northern Syria. Hattusilis' grandson Mursilis I raided down the Euphrates River to Babylon, putting an end (c. 1590 B.C.E.) to the Amorite dynasty there. After the death of Mursilis, a dynastic power struggle ensued, with Telipinus finally gaining control about 1530 B.C.E. In the noted Edict of Telipinus, long upheld by succeeding generations, he attempted to end lawlessness and to regulate the royal succession. The fall of the Hittite empire (c. 1193 B.C.E.) was sudden and may be attributed to large-scale migrations that included the Sea Peoples.

Hittite cuneiform tablets discovered at Bogazköy (in modern Turkey) have yielded important information about their political organization, social structure, economy, and religion. The Hittite king was not only the chief ruler, military leader, and supreme judge but also the earthly deputy of the storm god; upon dying, he himself became a god. Hittite society was essentially feudal and agrarian, the common people being either freemen, "artisans," or slaves. Anatolia was rich in metals, especially silver and iron. In the empire period the Hittites developed iron-working technology, helping to initiate the Iron Age. The religion of the Hittites is only incompletely known, though it can be characterized as a tolerant polytheism that included not only indigenous Anatolian deities but also Syrian and Hurrian divinities.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I was just about to say that very same thing.

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I like being spanked!

INTERMISSION by BeNN_MaKK 10-08-02

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FABULOUS TREASURE

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

nullity - by Big Evil Dan

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

I have a question. Are BeNN's alter ego accounts qualified to win this one?

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

And Now Let Us Consume Mass Quantaties, Amen. by israphael 10-08-02

What does a hairpiece do-- I mean, once it's freed from th' constraints of its cranial duties? Well I'm cruisin' for a little action, if you catch my drift. -- You Mean --?! I want th' exact location of Loni Anderson's wig drawer!! You can't do that. You just ripped off "Zippy the Pinhead". No I didn't. I merely appropriated the material for deconstructing the ideological biases and assumptions of its westernized phallocentric world view.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC146: by bonwag 10-08-02

DADA is not a howl. (LITERARY_SCHOOL!)

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exit, pursued by a bear

hey Bonwag, beat it....

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Bill the Oasis by kaufman 10-09-02

H2O

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Devil Bunny Needs a Ham by NeoVid 10-09-02

Found one!

Inspired by the dada board game Devil Bunny Needs a Ham, which you can find at http://www.cheapass.com. Bitch.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Let me start by saying that this was a pain in the butt. I would have rather gone with some sort of voting system, but since the majority chose this I'm stuck with it. I'm glad I get to hand this over to someone else because it isn't fun being the person who has to choose a winner.

I should mention that all of these comics were pretty darn good. It would have been easier if most of them sucked, but obviously the few people that were interested in submitting entries were people that tend to put some thought and effort behind their comics and thus we ended up with a chunk of great ones. And in looking at the entries I'm sure you'll agree that limiting comic constraints severly doesn't have to make them any less funny.

Here are some thoughts on the comics that ran through my mind while trying to judge them.

DexX: There is truth in your comic. Eggplant is evil.

descolada99: Though I read Battlefield Earth and thought it was a pretty good book (despite the fact that L. Ron is a complete freak) I'd have to agree that the movie pretty much sucked ass. Kudos to poking fun at it.

gabe_billings: Your comic is pure and utter genius. You'll most likely win. Clear a space on your mantle for the trophy.

Big Evil Dan: Ahh Dan... Brown nosing is such a wonderful thing. Too bad I'm immune to it. Nice try, though. You came close.

evil_d: Radioactive pudding. Need I say more?

Fracture: Any comic with maggots is ok by me.

ObiJo: Filthy language always makes me giggle, and biting priests is good for a laugh anytime.

Bottlerocket: The Watusi and hallucinogens. A comic match better than peanut butter and Jesus.

wirthling: I like muffins.

anonymouse: I don't know what he's talking about. He can't prove anything.

Also I should mention that those of you who may have used too many ghosts/skeletons weren't downgraded at all. We can only be anal retentive to a point then it gets silly. So everyone was on equal footing. (I also held back my normal feelings and ignored spelling mistakes. See? I'm not such a eggsucking bastard after all.)

Keeping those things in mind I tried to judge fairly. I started off trying to score them all on a ten point scale but I ended up with too many too close together. So I ran through the list again trying to eliminate some. I finally narrowed it down to four that I liked the most but couldn't decided among.

So I made my wife pick. A couple of her top choices were the same as mine and we ended up both agreeing on one.

So the winner is...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

The competition starts judging at 8:55 Thursday. Please don't stop submitting unless you are done.

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FABULOUS TREASURE

Every post I've made in this thread has been an entry, including this one.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

All of my posts in other threads, both past and future, are also entries.

So are my pants.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

I know it was very good I just didn't want it to stop anymore entries coming in, Spank.

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FABULOUS TREASURE

iAm you are we arEalBanian

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exit, pursued by a bear

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

That is a scary statistic.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

entry

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

And that's when I knew we'd need the wooden badger.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

African Swallow

They do carry stuff.

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