Dogonaball vs Crabby by Drexle 8-24-03

Later on: My, Grandma! What big ears you have! Oh, all the better to hear you with, my dear. Wow grandma, what a big belly you have. Why yes, all the better to... uh... Oh, now that you mention it, I think I have an upset stomach... I haven't seen you this fat since just after you fooled around with the woodsman. Oh.. oh... GOD!!! THE PAIN!!!

Dogonaball vs Crabby by Drexle 8-24-03

Wow! Grandma's going into labor! Huff, huff, shut up!!! I'm gonna go draw some hot water! AAAAARRGH!!!! NNNOOOO!!!!!

Dogonaball vs Crabby - fini by Drexle 8-24-03

Aaaah! God, I'm finally out of that there bitch's stomach. Ungrateful little whore. Grandma, I brought the hot wat... oh! It looks like the delivery was a success! Congratulations! Is it a boy or a girl? Bitch! What are you doing still alive? I just clawed my way out of your bunghole! Hey, that baby looks like the woodsman's also! Grandma, have you been fooling around *again?* Look, why don't you go take your basket full of goodies over to the woodsman and see what all the fuss is about yerself.

Feeling Frenzied, Part I by itsclark 8-20-03

Look, I can't pay you back right now. I'll have the money by Friday! Can't pay? How'd you like to sleep with the fishes? In cement overshoes! I'm confused. I'll be wearing cement overshoes? Or the fish will? That's funny. I smell crumpets and mushy peas. What the..? Oi, yoo! There'll be none of that loansharking business on my watch. Go 'ome before I haul you off to the tank!

Feeling Frenzied, Part II by itsclark 8-25-03

Later that week: This hand looks more like a foot. Who's got the eight of clubs? Go Fish! I hear someone at the door. Could be the pizza I ordered. I Hope you guys like extra sardines! Oi, you card sharks! This 'ere is considered illicit gambling under the Queen's law. And I 'ope that's not seaweed I smell! I can't take this harassment anymore. It's because I'm a man-eating predator, isn't it!

Feeling Frenzied, Part III by itsclark 8-26-03

Oi! Look, officer! I can no longer tolerate your constant harassment and your cliche Britishisms. I find that I can no longer supress my natural urge to kill! I have no choice but to devour you gruesomely. Ha! How'sat for larfs! Augh! I didn't realize you were a soccer fan...

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Sorry about the ludicrous slowness. I'm having a few midlife crises.

And not a "moh" in sight by andydougan 8-27-03

On his journey up the journalistic ladder, future BBC reporter John Pienaar once temped for FOX News's fashion department Hey, John, we've got international supermodel Kate Moss coming in for an interview. This could be your ticket to the big time! But I'm just a temp! I'm only qualified to clean Rupert Murdoch's teeth. With my nipples. While he's chewing. Well, his teeth will just have to cope. Only you can do this interview. Why is that, exactly? Among Kate Moss's demands is that her interviewer have horns, hooves and a tail. Only you fit the bill. Our proprietor off sick, then?

And not a "moh" in sight by andydougan 8-27-03

So, Miss Moss. Your job is to wear clothes and walk about. Tell us about that. Hold it! I specifically requested that the interview be conducted in a white room. This is eggshell! So anyway. Hold it! I never gave you leave to look at me. Avert your eyes, presumptious cur! Now, about that wearing clothes you do. Time's up! Buh bye!

And not a "moh" in sight by andydougan 8-27-03

Wait, hang on a minute. Avert 'em!!! Look, I need this interview. It's my big break. You dare use a contraction in my presence? I'm going to have a word with your boss! Later, at the unemployment centre I want a job where I get the chance to kill Kate Moss. No vacancies. Will male prostitute for the local chapter of NAPWA do?

Kajun versus whoever soon, I hope.

Just a reminder of who still has to do what:

[list][*]andydougan: Arabian (kaddar) vs. Kajun (forumusers)
[*]boinky33: Priest (submitted) vs. Zoe (wigu)
[*]boorite: Jon (goats) vs. Pimp (dexx)
[*]Drexle: Lizardsuit (submitted) vs. Neovid (forumusers)
[*]evil_d: Cow (kaddar) vs. Butch (explodingdog)
[*]Scyess: Brad (forumusers) vs. Pumpkin (holiday)
-and- Matthew (forumusers) vs. Penguin (kofightclub)
[*]TheGovernor: Dil (submitted) vs. Helmut (wigu)
-and- Hippie (kaddar) vs. Kaufman (forumusers)
[/list]

Get those tuchii in gear, and next week I'll put up some more assignments.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Cow vs. Butch--er, you're too funny, kaufman.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

No, the funny thing is I typoed explodingdog. That's the choppingblock Butch, of course.

And the way the twist endings have come up, nothing can be taken for granted.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

This is more a tournament than a battle royal.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

SCBR, Round 1: Cow vs. Butch (1/5) by evil_d 8-30-03

So, you're here to fight me, huh? You think you can take me on? I don't know anything about any fight. I'm just here for some hamburgers. Oh, a wise guy, eh? You think you can handle me? Come get some! Look. I'm a serial killer with a large knife. You're a cow. I think we both know how this is going to end up. *swish!* Ha ha! Too quick for you, huh? Now check this out!

SCBR, Round 1: Cow vs. Butch (2/5) by evil_d 8-30-03

Rockin'... Metal... Cowbell!!

SCBR, Round 1: Cow vs. Butch (3/5) by evil_d 8-30-03

What the fuck? Ha ha! How do you like my super power? This is your super power? It makes me younger? Too much for you to handle? How is this supposed to help you? I'm still faster than you. I've still got opposable thumbs. I'll stab you to death with this ice cream cone if I have to. You think so?

SCBR, Round 1: Cow vs. Butch (4/5) by evil_d 8-30-03

Rockin'... Metal... Cowbell!!

SCBR, Round 1: Cow vs. Butch (5/5) by evil_d 8-30-03

What the fuck? Why am I here? Where did I come from? Don't worry about that right now. The important thing is that you get that baby inside. It looks like it's going to rain. Uh, yeah, I guess you're right, I should do that. Thanks.

I bought some Sailor Moon Super S episodes at an anime convention recently. Sailor Moon's pink-haired daughter from the future, known to Button Men players as Rini, and apparently to US audiences as Sailor Mini-Moon, has a special attack that requires her to say "Crystal... Twinkle... Bell!!" What does it do? I don't know. Defeats enemies.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

This is more of a Battle Royale with Cheese...

Question:

In the Second and subsequent rounds, will it be necessary to use any powers/characteristics obtained/displayed from the First round? Or do the characters start from scratch?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

That's up to you people. Mwahaha!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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Question:

In the Second and subsequent rounds, will it be necessary to use any powers/characteristics obtained/displayed from the First round? Or do the characters start from scratch?

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You people getting bored? Then have a couple more subbrackets! Here's the updated to-do list, ands some of these you won't want to miss:

[list][*]andydougan: Arabian (kaddar) vs. Kajun (forumusers)
-and- Holly (kofightclub) vs. Triceratops (submitted)
[*]Big Evil Dan: Boorite (forumusers) vs. Demon (dexx)
[*]boinky33: Priest (submitted) vs. Zoe (wigu)
-and- Cop (submitted) vs. Suit (kaddar)
[*]boorite: Jon (goats) vs. Pimp (dexx)
-and- Elephant (dexx) vs. Lara7 (forumusers)
[*]crabby: Rabbit (kaddar) vs. Roger (wigu)
[*]Drexle: Lizardsuit (submitted) vs. Neovid (forumusers)
-and- Deer (holiday) vs. Killersquirrel (kofightclub)
[*]evil_d: Kid (threereasons) vs. LadyJ (forumusers)
[*]fuzzyman: Bull (kaddar) vs. Jamalia (submitted)
[*]habnem: Kangaroo (dexx) vs. Squirrel (pennyarcade)
[*]itsclark: Bobby (submitted) vs. Sharkman (submitted)
-and- Donkey (wigu) vs. Hadrosaur (submitted)[*]KajunFirefly: Duck (kaddar) vs. Zombie (holiday)
[*]kramer_vs_kramer: Wirthling (forumusers) vs. Red (kaddar)
[*]mmyers: Cowboy (threereasons) vs. Clappy (dexx)
[*]Scyess: Brad (forumusers) vs. Pumpkin (holiday)
-and- Matthew (forumusers) vs. Penguin (kofightclub)
-and- Dragonxero (forumusers) vs. Witch (holiday)
[*]TheGovernor: Dil (submitted) vs. Helmut (wigu)
-and- Hippie (kaddar) vs. Kaufman (forumusers)
-and- Littlegirl (threereasons) vs. Sickobunny (dexx)
[*]umfumdisi: Fly (dexx) vs. Redrobot (dieselsweeties)[/list]

Get to work!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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[*]Scyess: Brad (forumusers) vs. Pumpkin (holiday)
-and- Matthew (forumusers) vs. Penguin (kofightclub)
-and- Dragonxero (forumusers) vs. Witch (holiday)
[*]TheGovernor: Dil (submitted) vs. Helmut (wigu)
-and- Hippie (kaddar) vs. Kaufman (forumusers)
-and- Littlegirl (threereasons) vs. Sickobunny (dexx)

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Phallic Victory by umfumdisi 9-03-03

RARRRRRRRR!!! SUPER-PHALLUS ENABLED! bzz bzz ~SPROING~ *sniff* TOBOR WANT CORNHOLE...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

cop vs. suit 1 by boinky33 9-03-03

Hey der mister fancy pants. You know how fast you were goin'? But....I'm not driving a car. I'm walking! Oh, you think you're so smart? What's a ker billion + one? a ker billion and one.

cop vs. suit 2 by boinky33 9-03-03

Well, la dee freakin' da! You know the math! Well, I am a college professor. You callin' me queer? What? No. WE MUST DUEL! ??????

cop vs. suit 3 by boinky33 9-03-03

Ok, when I count down from ten, I'll try to shoot you with my gun, and you try to shoot me with that block of cheese! I don't think it's fair that you get the most dangerous weapon. Well, what if I'm lactose intolerant? Are you? No.

cop vs. suit 4 by boinky33 9-03-03

ten, nine, seven, twelve, three, twelve, twelve, a million, ONE!!!! ***BANG!!!!****SQUIRT!!!!**** Oh wait, I am lactose intolerant...... Hooray!

Cowboy versus Clappy by mmyers 9-03-03

So I sez to hem 'Thoze rotor turbnes ain't gona generate gravetons bye themselfes! ROFL OMFG! :P LOL *Pop* It looks like you're typing a letter. Would you like help? *Get help with letter *Just type the letter *Cancel *Cancel* You'll regret this day, cowboy!! One day you'll need my help composing a letter...OOONNNEEE DDDAAAYYYY!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

quote:

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quote:

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[*]Scyess: Brad (forumusers) vs. Pumpkin (holiday)
-and- Matthew (forumusers) vs. Penguin (kofightclub)
-and- Dragonxero (forumusers) vs. Witch (holiday)
[*]TheGovernor: Dil (submitted) vs. Helmut (wigu)
-and- Hippie (kaddar) vs. Kaufman (forumusers)
-and- Littlegirl (threereasons) vs. Sickobunny (dexx)

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Has anyone even told those people about this?

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Hi Kajun, nice sig.

Im still here, and working on the dil helmut one now, although if Dcomp wants a piece of the pie thats fine with me, this is afterall a showcase and I think all would agree he's more than able to pull out the funny. So if he wants to do one of my matches Im willing to share the work, If Kaufman has no objections of course. But dont count me out yet please.

Hi Kajun, nice sig.

Im still here, and working on the dil helmut one now, although if Dcomp wants a piece of the pie thats fine with me, this is afterall a showcase and I think all would agree he's more than able to pull out the funny. So if he wants to do one of my matches Im willing to share the work, If Kaufman has no objections of course. But dont count me out yet please.

Oh no, looks like someone has caught the jes_lawson bug!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Oh no, looks like someone has caught the jes_lawson bug!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

*Achoo!*

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

*Achoo!*

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

quote:

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Suspect Allegedly Ransomed Neighbor's Cat for $50

FAIRFAX, VA--September 4, 2003 — Deryl Miles is accused of cat nabbing.

Miles, 55, allegedly kidnapped his neighbor's cat and held it hostage for $50 after the animal wandered into his yard.

He was arrested Tuesday on misdemeanor larceny charges for allegedly trapping the cat, named Biscuit, in a wooden shed behind his mobile home, according to court documents.

Surrounded by police, Miles called a local newspaper from his trailer and said "I've taken (the cat) legally because it was trespassing on my property."

Miles refused to release the cat, and was arrested after leading police on a brief chase around his yard, court documents stated.

The cat's owner said he called police after hearing his pet howling from the shed next door.

"You have the right to call animal control if you have an unwanted animal in your yard," he said. "You don't have the right to hold him for ransom." He then added, "I've heard of catnapping, but this is ridiculous!"

(Copyright 2003 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

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Gesundheit.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.