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Judging will be uh... some time after 7pm CDT on Wednesday 5/30/01.

So there you go. Have at it!

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That's CDT. Canadian standard time. As in, "It's seven o'clock, eh? Let's get a beer and watch some hockey."

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...because in Canada, the word "Standard" starts with a D.

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gabe's comic seems funny till you realize that he's drawn me with a penis in about 75 of his comics. With punchlines like "But I want you ObiJo" and "Man the manhole", it's becoming more of a lifestyle decision than a genre.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Yeah, I suppose it is pretty funny that someone would draw you with a penis.

Actually, do you mean that he depicts you as having a penis or that he actually draws using his penis? Either way, it's pretty funny...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

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Yeah, I suppose it is pretty funny that someone would draw you with a penis.

Actually, do you mean that he depicts you as having a penis or that he actually draws using his penis? Either way, it's pretty funny...

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Quit being dramatic. It couldn't have been more than 15.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

First, the Honorable Mentions:

1. For making my boyfriend giggle like a little girl, ObiJo!

Please No Smiting by ObiJo 5-28-01

Hear the one about the man crucified to save all of humanity? No? Haven't heard that one, huh? WELL IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

2. This one from wirthling made me chuckle, but I hate when the images are not flush with the bottom because one panel has too much dialogue.

The Bible's Funniest Bloopers... by wirthling 5-28-01

Take 1...and...ACTION! Father, forgive them, for they don't not know, uh, I mean, they know not now -- oh crap. Line? HAHAHAHAHA! Take 2...and...ACTION! Father, (giggle) forgive them (giggle) -- damn it, Simon! Stop smiling, you bastard! HAHAHAHA! AAAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, man! I'll behave... Take 3...and...ACTION! ...HAR HAR HEE HEE HEEEE! I'm dyin' over here! HOOOOO! "Dying over here!" BWAHAHAHAAAA!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

3. For blatant pandering, the Brown Nose award goes to Big Evil Dan!

CC 32 - What the hell? by BigEvilDan 5-25-01

Holy crap! Is this Heaven? Yes it is Heaven, and yes the crap is holy. Welcome to your afterlife. But I designed weapons of mass destruction! I kicked puppies! I directed a Pauly Shore movie! How could I end up here? Hell is a fate reservered for those who commit crimes far worse than yours. So ladyjdotnet, lets see what you're in fo--wait, you did a Jesus strip CONTEST!? We toss people in to firey pits for just one strip! Aw crap.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

4. This one was almost a winner, but I told my friend saram about this site and only told her about the contest AFTER I saw this comic... so if I chose it, I'd feel like a corrupt politician or something.

Jesus loves dumbasses. by saram 5-24-01

You're that Jesus guy, right? Yes, my brother. So where are my three wishes? That's a GENIE. Not JESUS. Oh. Fuck. There goes my wish for everlasting life. What a big dumb bag of 'duh.'

(Incidentally, I didn't choose gabe-billings' rendition of the same joke because salvaging on a perfectly good comic is reprehensible.)

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

5. For the longest time, skagg was heir apparent for this little gem, because of the beauty of its simplicity.

Shake it sugar by skagg 5-26-01

I hate those annoying, hard-to-reach itches!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

6. Then this mildly anti-semitic strip had me giggling until I said oy vey!

Random Comic! I Apologize for This One. Really. by Scyess 5-05-01

Hey, Jesus. That cross is looking pretty ragged. Aren't you going to get a new one? Naw, they're too expensive. Hi, Jesus. Is that you're '78 Pinto parked over there? Yeah. I'm waiting for a dip in auto prices before I buy a new one. Little known fact: not only does Jesus save, he's downright miserly. Hi, Jesus! Want to buy some of my girl scout cookies? What? Do I look like I'm made of money?

But ultimately, the winner was to reveal himself near the very end, after a few other valiant attempts.

The winner is...

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

You don't suppose ... by kaufman 5-30-01

This is great, I can't wait to try out my Microsoft Jesus! Oh no, it's hung up! THIS PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED AN UNRECOVERABLE ERROR.. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO RESTART YOUR SYSTEM IN APPROXIMATELY THREE DAYS.

kaufman!!!

Yes, another newbie.

You have until Friday night to claim your prize. If you have not claimed your prize, Scyess will be the winner, and if Scyess is nowhere to be found, skagg gets it.

Thank you all for participating!

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Salvaging?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Jesus loves dumbasses. by saram 5-24-01

You're that Jesus guy, right? Yes, my brother. So where are my three wishes? That's a GENIE. Not JESUS. Oh. Fuck. There goes my wish for everlasting life. What a big dumb bag of 'duh.'

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Rub Me the Wrong Way by gabe_billings 1-27-01

So if I like rub you then you have to give me three wishes, right? That's a genie, dipshit. Oh. Do you mind if I rub you anyway?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Hey, I didn't want to make a stink about it, but when my good name is on the line...

I'll grant you that maybe, just maybe, it's possible for two people to come up with the same idea with no input from each other. But if one of the people was to have 'salvaged' the idea from the other, I'd say the one who posted first was probably the originator of said idea.

So, which of these comics do you think came first? (Hint: Check the dates)

PS - In lieu of wirthling standing up for me, I shall scratch his name off the 'excruciatingly painful death by wombat' list and move him to the 'Monty Python Meaning of Life get run down by horde of mostly naked chicks wearing helmets and elbow pads death' list.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I stole this from Star Trek,Beavis and Butthead,and you two. by ObiJo 5-31-01

Yo, Jesus! Cool, I found you! You have to give me three wishes, right? Damnit, I'm a savior not a genie! So, where's your pot of gold, you slippery little bastard? Damnit, I'm a savior not a leprechaun! Jesus, I've been a sinner all my life, but I want to repent and become clean again. Please help me! Damnit, I'm a savior, not a savior! Oh, wait, I'll get right on that.

Let's not take ourselves TOO seriously. That said, I think the title of gabe's comic is appropriate.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I declare today Stay-Home-From-Work day. Mostly because I'm sick and I'm staying home from work. But I think everyone else should, too, so that they can keep me company.

Luckily I have a way cool boss, so I just e-mailed her and told her I'd work at home today. Which I'll try to do. If I'm not in a Nyquil induced coma.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

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Hey, I didn't want to make a stink about it, but when my good name is on the line...

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PS - In lieu of wirthling standing up for me, I shall scratch his name off the 'excruciatingly painful death by wombat' list and move him to the 'Monty Python Meaning of Life get run down by horde of mostly naked chicks wearing helmets and elbow pads death' list.

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I declare today Stay-Home-From-Work day. Mostly because I'm sick and I'm staying home from work. But I think everyone else should, too, so that they can keep me company.

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PS - In lieu of wirthling standing up for me, I shall scratch his name off the 'excruciatingly painful death by wombat' list and move him to the 'Monty Python Meaning of Life get run down by horde of mostly naked chicks wearing helmets and elbow pads death' list.

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I'm sure you meant "in light of".

Main Entry: lieu
Pronunciation: 'lü
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English liue, from Old French lieu, from Latin locus -- more at STALL
Date: 14th century
archaic : PLACE, STEAD
- in lieu : INSTEAD
- in lieu of : in the place of : instead of

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PS - In lieu of wirthling standing up for me, I shall scratch his name off the 'excruciatingly painful death by wombat' list and move him to the 'Monty Python Meaning of Life get run down by horde of mostly naked chicks wearing helmets and elbow pads death' list.

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I'm sure you meant "in light of".

Main Entry: lieu
Pronunciation: 'lü
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English liue, from Old French lieu, from Latin locus -- more at STALL
Date: 14th century
archaic : PLACE, STEAD
- in lieu : INSTEAD
- in lieu of : in the place of : instead of

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Thank you, Madame Pedantic. If any of you yahoos were within striking distance, I would bonk you on the head with my nerf bat.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.