...razor blades, until the entire tub looks like a hairy, tribble-fur-encrusted bucket of...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

... jools after punkrockaskaboy is done with him, then leaving the rest of us to...

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Once upon a time, one guy said "Dude!" His friend, shocked by this remark, replied "Dude!" Thus began my meaningless comics...

...wish we were as smart as Kaufman, colossally geeky as Gabe, pish as Andy, hairy as Fuzzyman, sucky as Wirthling and...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

... purple as dcomposed would have been had he eaten the ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

...bandages off of Tobor's latest victim's...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

... area where fuck had once again...

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Once upon a time, one guy said "Dude!" His friend, shocked by this remark, replied "Dude!" Thus began my meaningless comics...

...misspelled...

... nearly every word in Shakespeare's Sonet #23, which he was lovingly reciting in the arms of a cooing Dion Warwick while she...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...baked at 300 degrees for about 90 minutes, occasionally turning and...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

...basting, then served cold with a side of Marianne Faithful, which can be picked up at any local...

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

...Jack in the Box, where the special children's meal...

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I really am a fan.

...includes three gift-wrapped piles of...

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Mediocrity at its most average.

...gift wrap, so that if you're not careful you'll unwrap the whole pile all the way down to the...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...the sewers, where I hear its quite nice this year considering...

..that the C.H.U.D.s are damp with musk and in heat..

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FABULOUS TREASURE

...and begin rubbing their flippers so vigorously against the fire hydrants that their placentas burst in a towering stream of...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

... Carmen Miranda impersonators singing ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

... In A Gadda Da Vida, off-key, I might add, and...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

..and gyrating their hips around a statue of...

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

...Sir Isaac Newton, whose long-lost manuscript on graviton generation recently turned up in the private collection of...

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

...Dr Pedantic, who intends...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

...to no longer use the regular names for animals, but instead address them by genus and species, because of that little incident with Tom Cruise where...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

... the ocean met the sky, burning with embers of late-summer dreams, cool and sweet whispers on the back of his neck, gooseflesh now raised along the trail of his backbone, that place she used to caress after a night of passionate lovemaking; not just normal lovemaking, though, but a strange, ritualistic sort of preternatural...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

..., squeegee-like, ...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...pork rind feast, crunching and chomping and slobbering the fatty crumbs all over a large platypus in the middle of the road while listening to Little River Band's greatest hits as you wonder how you ended up in Australia until you notice Paul Hogan and a crocodile careening toward you in a Subaru Outback as they...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.