Homeland Insecurity by omnithought 8-23-03

The President muses... There's got to be a way to get people to like me... Why don't we stick 'em in "re-education camps" and make them like you...or else!! Dammit, Ashcroft, take off the mask will ya'? You're gonna' scare Laura! George! George! There's a deranged homocidal maniac in the White House!!! Shhh! Not so loud!!! Oh! You mean John!

Homeland Insecurity #2 by omnithought 8-24-03

My fellow Americans...in these difficult times, we must all make sacrifices in order to ensure our freedom. And let us show our greatest appreciation for those who have laid so costly a price on the altar of freedom...our veterans... Thanks for cutting our benefits and combat pay, asshole!

Ripped from another joke... by omnithought 8-24-03

??? Greetings! Welcome to Hell! You'll find a nice meadow over there, a nice market over here, and abundant wildlife everywhere! AAAIIIEEEEEEE!!!! THE PAIN!!!! ARRRRGHHHH!!!! What the fuck was THAT?! Oh, they're Christians. They wouldn't have it any other way...

I think Homeland Insecurity may turn into a series...

Homeland Insecurity #3 by omnithought 8-24-03

George, I'm kicking you out of the Republican Party Huh? What for? I'm as Republican as you can get! Small Government. The Patriot Act. How do those two fit together? Well, uh, you see...LOOK! A TERRORIST! That shit won't work with me, asshat.

Homeland Insecurity #4 by omnithought 8-24-03

How it should have been... Mmmm! Yummy pretz--ACK! NNNGGGHHH! help! chchhhaarrghh... Dammit! We were too late! Hey! A yummy half-eaten pretzel! *chomp*