On-line with no way of posting funny pictures, then I get a new account and two come along at once. Thanks to Brad for the second one.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

--For the second one--

-Just as you see people desperately jumping from burning buildings, Jeff dives from the stalled-out bus, screaming "Tell my wife I loved her!" on the way down.

-Luckily, Peter Parker happened to be one of the hostages on the hijacked bus and...

-Woopsie. Guess you were right. There is a sniper.

-It was a desperate situation, sure, but GODDAMN his butt was itchy.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

"No cousin of mine would leave files in that kind of disorganised state! And what the hell are you doing with Clango's head on that table? You always were a weird bunch back over the Pond, Charles..."

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Cover me! I'm going over the.... bus.

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What others say about boorite!

I suppose there's not a lot you can say that's good about Reginald Boorite. But his claim to the throne has been verified. Pray to fork the Saddam loyalists don't drop Da Bomb on Buckingham Palace...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Not worried for herself, the mother threw her baby to safety from the bus window. "But ma, I'm 32 years old, I'm not a bab-AAHHH!" he screamed.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.