I am currently working on my next octet of Convertible Schoolbus strips. I have been having the hardest bastard of a time logging into this site recently and because I have not posted in RM Damn Comics for a while I thought I would post some B-sides.
These comics would probably never have seen the light of day or at least until I was dead when they would be released under a sub-standard compilation label.
If you have any old B-sides why not post them here?
Just to get them out-there, you know?

Straight eye for the bestiality guy. by smamurai 10-15-03

Why do you keep staring over there at that bulls penis? You're not a queer are you? Do you even know what a homosexual is? Looking at an animals cock would not make a human being a queer of the species. I get it. And just because you fondle a dog's wiener doesn't mean you're a sick pervert. Right? RIGHT? Depends. If you lick your fingers afterwards you may be on the slippery slope that eventually leads to dog-beefing. Illegal in nine States if I`m not mistaken. But you know, times change, it may be an Olympic sport by 2016, in which case you would be stupid not to get in some training now.

What have you done for me lately? by smamurai 10-20-03

I don't have long Dre, what did you want to speak to me about? I just don't know where this relationship is going. I get the feeling you just use me. Well? Are you kidding? With my good looks, brains, street smarts and your all-terrain vehicle You and I could go places Dre. Yeah we do make a good team don't we? Pick me up at 8 O'clock. I have a date.

You Pay Peanuts, you get Monkeys. by smamurai 10-30-03

I swear it wasn't me. I wasn't even in the city when the King's favourite blind child was spat on. We'll see about that. BRING ON THE LIAR-A-TRON-2000!! It wasn't me. I was outside the city gates when the eyeball-challenged offspring of the King was attacked with saliva. HE IS LYING! HE IS LYING! ALL GEESE ARE FRENCH! It's a set-up I tell you. Are you going to take a robots word over that of a hard-working citizen? Who can tell with that nonsense spouting machine? It's time like these I wish we had paid the extra and got the TRUTH-A-TRON-2000.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Side 2.

A little prison humour. And I mean 'a little' by smamurai 10-20-03

Yo Slick is the maddest mother fucker in here. We should go chill with him. The guys a riot. He won't force the bum-sex on me? Not unless you want him to. Really? He sounds like a gentleman. What you got for us Slick? You gonna make this trip worthwhile? I'm not sayin anythin funny till you pay me five cigarettes, a roll of toilet paper and a magazine from this year....each.

Vietnam Vet. by smamurai 10-15-03

Hi Mr Vet. My box-turtle is about ready to hibernate for the winter. My teacher said I should get him checked out first before he goes to sleep. So my mom booked an appointment and here I am. Your turtle will be fine kiddo,there's millions of years of animal instinct packed into each one of them hairy critters.As long as you dont feed them after midnight it'll be ok. But my turtle is'nt hairy, here take a look. Remember, when it comes time to wake 'em you will have to pistol whip her gently behind the ears........OH MY GOD THERE'S GOOKS ALL AROUND, IT'S AN AMBUSH, LOOK OUT! FIRE IN THE HOLE!! I can't believe you just bit the head off my turtle and threw it's body out the window at them pigeons over there. Pigeons don't even look like gooks, don't you watch T.V?

5CR4BBLE RABBLE. by smamurai 11-10-03

You join us here at the first round of the 'Open Scrabble Tournement' my name is Jack Zebra, and this promises to be an exciting match-up. Playing today against the No.1 seed we have a relatively unknown contender in the form of 12 year old Cletus Wolf. You can start YOINKS!! And Cletus Wolf has just turned and ran out of the building, I don't know what has happened just yet but what an explosive start to the proceedings. What the..? Where is he going..? Wait a minute, IPWNJOO? It isn't even a word.

James Boss - For His Eyes Only. by smamurai 11-21-03

Come over here secretary, I've got a little job I want you to do for me. You can start by taking down my....ahh....memo. *sigh* Just let me get my note-pad and pen. I have to take this round to everybody. Please read it and sign it. It says 'Missing - Expensive digtal camcorder. Last seen behind the grating above the middle cubicle in the womens lavatory if you know of it's whereabouts please inform Mr. Boss' It's disgusting. I don't know how that pig has the nerve to do a thing like that in this day and age. What do you think we should do about it? We? I think I should have a word to Mr. Boss about you. You know, secretaries usually hand out memos topless round here. We're like a family in that respect.

A rare James Boss strip there for collectors and completists.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.