I've actually found time to work on a series. It has five parts currently, and will continue as I think of more punchlines.

Could you be my neighbor? by Xuanwu 12-24-03

Howdy, neighbor! Wonderful day, isn't it? I hope you're feeling chipper! Um...just a question: you do know I used to deal in stolen goods, right? Most people around here know about my criminal past. Yep. I do. Then...why are you so happy to see me? Because good fences make good neighbors!

Could you be my neighbor? Part 2 by Xuanwu 12-24-03

Hey, again. Howdy! I don't suppose you know what would be a good pet to have? I don't have a lot of money. Ah, in that case, get a bird! Why? They fit well in a tight budgy!

Could you be my neighbor? Part 3 by Xuanwu 12-25-03

Gah, my sleep's been terrible lately. Why's that? There are two physicists who live upstairs. They constantly argue about theories until dawn. It's nuts. Ah. Well, tell them to argue about matter. Physicists hate that topic. Why? All they wind up doing is mass debate.

Could you be my neighbor? Part 4 by Xuanwu 12-26-03

You know, I haven't met too many of the other people around here. Well, Christ lives a few doors down. He's pretty friendly. Wait - Christ? As in Jesus Christ the Son of God? Yep, that's the one. I never thought one of the key religious figures in history would be found living in the projects... His mom makes great virgin smoothies.

Could you be my neighbor? Part 5 by Xuanwu 12-26-03

And so, Cain fled to the land of Nod. How did he eventually die? Some suspect he may have become sick after ingesting unhatched fowl that lived in the area. Egg Nod. Right. Others think he may have experimented with corn syrup and fell into a vat of the substance. The world's first candy Cain.

Please provide some C&C so I can improve. Thanks!

They are all right, but they aren't really laugh-out-loud and the jokes seem unoriginal and really cheesey. It has potential. just try and be a little more origianl and make your jokes less lame, unexplained and unfunny;) then you will prolly have a kick ass strip. Sorry bout the harsh criticism though. I'll keep an eye on your work and keep opinionated bout it:P hehe

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Fuck this, tarte or no tarte i am wiggling with the best of them forever

You suck!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

That's one way of putting it

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Fuck this, tarte or no tarte i am wiggling with the best of them forever

Can you elaborate? Knowing why you think I suck is one of the ways I can improve. Or is it that you just don't like puns?

Could you be my neighbor? Part 6 by Xuanwu 12-27-03

Watch much TV? Some. I prefer the European shows, though. What's good on the airways there? Well, Scotland has their own version of "Survivor." It's much better than the original. How does that work? Contestants get voted off the highland.

I forgot to update the thread.

Could you be my neighbor? Part 7 by Xuanwu 12-29-03

"...and so the dog exploded, killing Sam and ending his reign. The end." Wow. That was a very interesting story. Did you write it yourself? Nope! I bought one of those new "Robot Writers." I've heard of them. Artists are in an uproar now that machines can be artistic. But I heard buying one is a pain. How did it go? Well, the salesman was a little pushy. But he was very willing to customize the robot to my needs. No way could I turn it down. I see. He made you an author you couldn't refuse.

Haven't thought of any new ones for this series in a while. I'll probably let it lie then get back to it later.

*shakes head sadly*

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.