I dunno where I came up with this totally. I remember talking to my guitar teacher like a year ago about the drummer from Rush when he stated that Neal was a real drummer name. So here it is: CNN Reports: Drummer Names.

CNN Reports: Drummer Names by possums 1-15-04

This... is CNN. Jack, Bill, Ron, Mike, Dave... These names are all sure signs... OF A DRUMMER. Hello. I am Connie Chung. We here at CNN are reporting on the names of drummers. Right now we are about to enter the house of Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo, luckily un-infested by normal Slayer fans. SLAYOR!!!! Tell me, Mr. Lombardo, did you know that your highly normal name would lead to you becoming a drummer? Did you know your highly Asian name would lead you to my house? Get out before I sic the Angel of Death on you.

Drummer Names, Pt.2: Connie Chung Overloads by possums 1-15-04

Mr. Lombardo, you have become famous as the drummer for Slayer, probably because of your name, Dave. I have a son named Bill. Do you think he will become a drummer? Okay... listen. I know CNN's sense has declined in the last years.... but this is ridiculous. Just because you have a name like Steve or Mark doesn't mean that you're going to become a drummer. But... having a name like Al Jazeed makes you a terrorist, right? What?! How biased can you get?! How are you supposed to run a decent news show with all this insane BIAS?! Are you some kind of robot?! SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!! SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!! What the hell has Mike Patton gotten me in to? I'll Fantômas him...

Drummer Names, Pt.3: Introducing Adolf by possums 1-16-04

Hello, covering for the now deceased Connie Chung, this is Wolf Blitzer's brother... ugh... Cat Blitzer. We're here investigating the banality in the names of drummers. Today we have a most interesting case. Adolf, a young boy living in Manchester, plays drums for his local band, Christ on Toast. We're going to interview him today. Tell me, Adolf. Your name sets you apart from the standard of drummers with names like Charlie and Bill. Tell us your thoughts on that. My dad was a nazi.

Drummer Names Pt. 4: Drummer Physics by possums 1-17-04

Cat Blitzer here. We're getting an inside look at a conversation between two drummers. Let's listen in. So I said to the guy, "That Diminished 8th isn't gonna make that G Minor any more Major! You're gonna have to take away that Augmented Bb 5th if you wanna do that!" Ha ha ha!! What the fuck are you talking about?

This is a good one.

Oh crap! All my comics have fallen victim to the infamous bottom pop!

It's because you're using too much text in a single frame.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

so you say. but I think it's a conspiracy plot to take over my cerebellum!

i think that just goes to show that were all too lazy to read strips with more than 6 words in each frame

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xx( o Y o. )xx

slothlike bastards.

Drummer Names, Pt.5: Silly Canadians, Trix Are For Kids! by possums 1-18-04

Cat Blitzer... that's terrible. Cat Blitzer here, with CNN Reports: Drummer Names. We're here in Vancouver, British Columbia, with Rush drummer Neil Peart. Good evening, Neil. Good evening to yoo, eh? So Neil, you've been one of the only people who created the theory of drummer names. That's right. Say, what's all the cameras aboot? NO IDEA where I was going with this one. Um... We're reporting for CNN. What ever happened to rock n' roll radio, eh?

yeah. no idea where I was going with this one at all. but it's got Canadians, you'll read it.