Aborted Baby Goes On Standup Tour by graykane 1-30-04

Fucked her so hard I could wear her as a hat. I'm like, I'll never have to pay for two plane tickets again. She's an apparel. By the time I'm eight, she'll be an umbrella. By 23, a circus tent. So I'm fucking this pregnant chick, right? But I made sure it was going to be a girl first, because I ain't into no gay shit. I'm not sticking my dick in there and getting a blowjob by no baby boy. So I'm doin the preggy mom and this fine-ass fetus chick at the same time. If we coulda only stuck the preggy chick inside her dead mama, I coulda nailed 3 generations in 1: like a fuckn Russian doll.

this is a series at this point. aborted baby is taking over my comics. i think eventually he's going to have to run for president.

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i want to piss on you

Haha...This is good. Is this original material?

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You know you totally missed me!

yes, all original. lot's of fun to write, too.

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby On The Campain Trail 1 by graykane 1-30-04

I said, "Quick, hide me up your skirt. They're coming. We don't have time to discuss this." She fell for it. I gave her sixty-three orgasms between here and Texas. Something about the illicit, Brian. I'm failing to see how any of this qualifies you to be President. I mean I just don't get it. Has to do with closing the deal, Brian. I always heard that babies and dogs were chickmagnets, and then I saw these two chicks sucking mad dog dick on the internet, and I thought, "That's genius." ... The dog bypassed the master & got his own dick sucked. I learned that day that I was a tool, like a screwdriver, but that I could learn how to screw on my own. I am my own master, Brian. Help.

damn, i knew this baby's gonna be president someday.

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby On The Campaign Trail 2 by graykane 1-30-04

Interviewing a Presidential candidate like myself should be like a really messy menstruation: It should be difficult, something nobody wants to deal with, leaves people feeling uncomfortable. Oh My God, go to commercial. But it has them all talking about it behind your back.... You know I can smell you, right? Excuse me while I hide under this table. I don't mind getting red wings.

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i want to piss on you

Lewl.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Aborted Baby Campaign Trail 3 by graykane 1-31-04

...with vibrators for lightsabers, & I say to yo grandmama, "Damn, Yoda. You like the force, dontchya!" & I say to yo mama, cuz she's liftin her black dress, "Damn, Darth Vader, yo pussys da darkside" Are we still on the air? & I say to yo sista, "Damn, Princess, you took dem lightsabers whole up both ends! Now I can hold you like a corn on da cob & eat them little yellow nipples of yours like da tasty kernals dey are!" Da's cool, baby. I aint neva done no alien b'for. You probly mo' versatile. I can stick my shit in yo back or in yo leg, back of da head, in yo 1 eye. I fuck yo knees. Poke big holes tween yo toes. If you become President, the whole universe is fucked.

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby ALMOST Forgoes Whitehouse for an Opportunity by graykane 1-31-04

I am THE INVISIBLE GIRAFFE!!! You know I gots this girl who says I just aint big'nuf for her shit. She used to stretch herself over small furniture for small audiences. Just private parties. Nothin famous or nuth'n. I am THE INVISIBLE GIRAFFE!? Wid yo help, I gots a plan. I drop my pampers, aim my chubbybabycock at her & the sheer unseen force of my shit chops everything tween us in twain, tears her dress, blows her shit wide & into the sky. I am the invisible giraffe? Course she could never know you're there, but we'll take this show on the road, my friend. I'm done with this small-time shit. Nuthin but the bigtop for this peewee.

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby Campaign Trail 4? by graykane 1-31-04

I need to clarify my last statement before it gets quoted out of context: I do not have a small cock by any means. In fact... I was the only one who survived Flight 93. I grabbed the first chick I could find, fucked the shit out of her, & used what was left of her pussy to parachute to safety. It's with mad skills like those that I intend to steer this cuntry out of harm's way. Fuck you, Bush!

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby on the Campain Trail 5? by graykane 1-31-04

Some didn't comprehend how I was able to use a pussy to parachute to safety from a crashing plane. Let me explain: I ripped the vericose veins from this one mama's legs, tied 'em to the twat... ...and jumped. She blew up like a hot-air balloon. She's now in advertising. Presently she's on display hovering over a Chucky Cheese on 3rd and Main. Nice woman. I wish her the best of luck in her new business.

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i want to piss on you

These are so wrong. I like 'em.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

thank you very much, kind sir. unfortunately, someone dropped my five star to a four. i think i might have to honor that person's decision with a comic.

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby on the Campaign Trail 6, rockin the female vote by graykane 1-31-04

Yeah, I used to read "Over 90". I aint scared of what you're hiding under there-- unless you're a tranny granny. If I go down only to find a six-inch clit, somebody's getting beat. I mean I'll lick up to an inch, but anything longer than that, you can call it "genetics", "gravity with age", you can call it whatch you want, but it's a dick & ain't touching it. That's right. You can go twiddle yer own diddle, Grandma. Cuz if it's longer than an inch, you ain't twiddlin it. You're fuckin jerking it. You need yo walker cuz you need to keep on walkin, Tranny G.

i wonder how long i can milk this thing.

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i want to piss on you

Well, Cowboy Physics is still around...

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Aborted Baby Learns Some Cowboy Physics by graykane 1-31-04

So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Must be tough getting old. My turbines won't stop generating. Like I graviton'd this kid's mom so hard last night. My rotor fuckin rooted her. Pardon me, señor director, but am I in the right script? I fuckin blew a load of gravitons right in her face. I shot it right in her eye. Okay, who the fuck are you? What are you doing here? I'm the piece of flesh that replaced your dad. I'd shake your hand, but I just left your mom. My fingers... Let me take you to Hooters: some bonding time. So, yer mother tells me yer a director.

you're right, partner: cowboy physics been around for a little over two years now... of course, with a little help from some friends.

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby Meets Childofthecorn254 by graykane 2-01-04

Childofthecorn254, let's be bosom buddies. We'll have so many illegitimate children we won't even name them. I mean we're bound to lose a few, & I want to keep only the good ones anyway. Honey, I'll knock you up so many times you be shooting them at de neighbors. On 4th of July, dey'll be our fireworks: streaming babies, colorful umbilical cords raining afterbirth along da horizon. It'll be butiful. You'll have so many children you'll be sending the wrong kid home to the wrong father every summer. I never said I was claiming responsibility for all of them.

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i want to piss on you

Aborted Baby 5, the babysitter by graykane 1-30-04

I was eating my girlfriend out, and she had a miscarriage in my mouth. Oh, stop it already! That's horrible. I've been flossing fetus now for weeks. You ever eat stringy rotting chicken wings? Wait a minute: aren't you a marshmellow? Yeah. I'm going to stick my dick in your head.

how come so few people post responses? is this normal?

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i want to piss on you

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aborted Baby and Tranny Granny meet again by graykane 2-01-04

Here comes Tranny G with her hermaphrotitties. Tranny Granny, dat aint a tampon string you hiding. If I pull dat string & see blood, it's cuz I ripped yo dick off. Oooh! Little boy, I am not a hermaphrodite! I don't know where you got this idea from. Da problem is when the little man in the boat don't leave room for no passengers. Like I says before, call it what you want, but if yo clit covers yo shit like a lid, you gots yo self a wang, KD Lang! A clitorus is erectile tissue &, like penises, come in all different shapes & sizes. I think you may be feeling intimidated: being a baby, your erectile tissue may not be longer than many clitoruses. I accept yo challenge, biatch! On da count of 3, we whip it out. ONE... TWO...

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i want to piss on you

Good lord, Im still trying to figure out who you haven't offended yet!

Oh, wait. Me.

Feel free to have a shot at it, of course, if you want to go for the low-blow easy shit, you could make fun of my hair loss.

Everyone else has.

(Yes, gentlemen, that's your cue. Sorta like my head. Cue ball. Fuck you)

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Few responses because most forum regulars ignore Read My Damn Comics in favour of the other forums. Thanks to DragonXero for pointing this thread out to me.

Funny stuff.

Thnx for letting me know!

Aborted Baby and Tranny Granny see which one's bigger by graykane 2-02-04

Damn, Tranny G! You're my hermaphrohero. Just be careful, woman: you damn near quiefed my head off. You don't want to blow baby balls all over the walls. Aaaaagh!!!! I warned your hermaphroass about that quiefing. Our friction musta left you aflame. I had to use the fire extinguisher on yo shit. Damn, Miss Tran, will you stop yo screamin? Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!! Oh, I do apologize. I keep forgetting I came in here with you. I keep thinking you fell out or something.

oh well, i'll get whatever comments i can in this thread.

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i want to piss on you

perhaps nothing more frustrating than someone dropping your stars without explaining to you why. i haven't gotten one constructive criticism yet. bitch bitch bitch. moan moan moan...

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Man, that baby's got SPICE!

A+, my dear.

thank you.

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i want to piss on you