This is part of an ongoing series that I started three weeks ago, then I got into a mood where I didn't feel like making comics, then I forgot this series, then I felt like making comics, then I unforgot this series. But enough with my life story, here's the first nine installments:

Insomniaman 1 by EvilZak 1-21-04

As awesome as it is to be evil, I've always wanted to be a superhero. God, can you make me into a superhero? Alright then. Let's see... you have insomnia, you're a man. Thus, you are Insomniaman! Insomniaman? That sounds retarded! Do you have any better suggestions? How about Big Cock Man? Don't steal my superhero name!

Insomniaman 2 by EvilZak 1-21-04

So what are my superpowers? You never sleep, because you don't need to. Oh yeah, flying, strength, the basic shit. What's the catch? You have a super-secret weakness which I cannot tell you. Also, you will have to do non-sleeping things at work.

Insomniaman 3 by EvilZak 2-09-04

OK, I've got into costume, can I have my first mission? First you will stop Sir Beer's diabolical scheme of getting everyone drunk. Waitaminute God, what's so evil about mass drunkenness that I should prevent? Let's see, the fatal car wrecks, the abuses of friends and family, the outbreak of riots that could kill many innocent people... I want a real reason. Hangovers! Massive hangovers!

Insomniaman 4 by EvilZak 2-09-04

Sir Beer! Drop the Guinness and nobody gets hurt! OK. KLUNK OW! Hey, you assholes up in the sky! Watch where you're dropping your mugs! You lied to me.

Insomniaman 5 by EvilZak 2-09-04

Sir Beer, why have you given up so easily? Insomniaman you fool! Did you not see my plans to melt the Beer North Pole and flood the world in beer? ...Beer North Pole? Are you high? What gave it away, my name?

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AFROMANS MOVE

Insomniaman 6 by EvilZak 2-09-04

2 AM We interrupt this program for a special report: due to a crash of the Budweiser Valdez, the North Pole is now made entirely of beer. Further developments will be announced as they progress... ...latest development: People now live at the North Pole.

Insomniaman 7 by EvilZak 2-09-04

Idiot Kid, I need your help! I need to kill Sir Beer quickly! Help me break this dam so we can expose him to his biggest weakness! And what would that be?

Insomniaman 8 by EvilZak 2-09-04

I'm tired of my beer belly. I'm gonna go on the Atkins Diet to lose weight. Hey! It worked!

Insomniaman 9 by EvilZak 2-09-04

And with the death of Sir Beer, Insomniaman saved the day! Dude, you drowned 99% of the city's population. I Insomniaman saved the day!

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AFROMANS MOVE

Here's some more for those who enjoyed this series, which, judging by the utter lack of negative comments, is assumed to be everyone.

Insomniaman 10 by EvilZak 2-14-04

It's Captain Captain, leader of the Team Of Invincible Tightwearing Superheroes! You can call it TOITS! But Insomniaman, as our newest member, we need you to take out the anti-cool-people army. They destroyed a cool cereal factory. You must take them out! Cool cereal factory? They held nightly raves.

Insomniaman 11 by EvilZak 2-15-04

Why do you want a rookie superhero to take on a whole army? Our veterans seem to be losing it. Allow this flashback sequence to explain. I, American From America Man, will stop you, Terroristy McTerrorist, from heading to the General Mills rave/factory, unless you can explain why I should let you pass. If you don't let me through, then the terrorists have won. The Cheerios boxes are hard to open. Have this box cutter.

Insomniaman 12 by EvilZak 2-15-04

The plan is for you to meet up with the anti-cool-people army at the H&R Block at Elm and 47th. Why would the army be at H&R Block? There's nobody cool for them to kill there. Every week, cool people meet up and hold a secret orgy there. ...which I learned from Blobbert. (psst... try blaming it on someone who doesn't reproduce asexually...)

Insomniaman 13 by EvilZak 2-15-04

H&R Block Commander Lord Albert Stingson, instead of attacking those naked but innocent people over in the orgy room, why don't you fight me? Well good chap, the mission of the ACPA is to eliminate cool people, I do declare. That's why I won't harm you, sir. Jerk.

Insomniaman 14 by EvilZak 2-15-04

Before you go, watch this move. Make it quick, there are cool people who need to die. Oooooh yeah! It's called a pelvic thrust. You, good sir, will be the first to die.

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AFROMANS MOVE

Insomniaman 15 by EvilZak 2-15-04

Chap, we shall play the game I have mastered, Monopoly. However, mine is a special board, sir. If you lose, you die. Well that's good, because I own the H&R Block we're currently in. Pardon me, but why in blazes would you buy this establishment? Filing taxes is the next best thing to sleep, which if you didn't know, I can not get. You can't sleep? SHIT! Can we play Boggle instead?

Insomniaman 16 by EvilZak 2-15-04

Since I am a gentleman, I shall be a sport and pay rent for H&R Block, just so long as I don't have to sleep in the orgy room. OK, but first I need to make a phone call. Is this Acme? Sure is, what can I do for ya? I'd like you to use a bigass crane to uproot Motel 6 and drop it on H&R Block. Right away.

Insomniaman 17 by EvilZak 2-15-04

Commander McTerrorist, I just killed Commander Stingson via fatal Monopoly board, and if you don't give me a good reason to let you live, you will meet the same fate. If you don't let me through, then the terrorists have won. Some of the women in the orgy room have tight boxes. Have this box cutter. Wait a minute...

Insomniaman 18 by EvilZak 2-15-04

JIHAD! Jihads go splat?

Insomniaman 19 by EvilZak 2-15-04

That's it, American! I'm going to cast my strongest spell: JIHADAGA! *reflect* Remember kids, ALWAYS have reflect when the terror alert is orange or higher.

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AFROMANS MOVE

Insomniaman 20 by EvilZak 2-15-04

I have killed your commanders, Overlord Red Robot, now turn around or face certain death. That term is offensive to me. What do you mean? Please call me "Overlord Native American Robot".

Insomniaman 21 by EvilZak 2-15-04

ONAR, you'd better surrender. That will not happen. Instead, we will have a wrestling match. Dude, wrestling's fake. I don't mean WWE wrestling, I mean like in the Olympics or high school. Except it'll be in a steel cage.

Insomniaman 22 by EvilZak 2-15-04

Wait a minute! First of all, it's not fair that your joints are made of titanium making them impossible to bend, but on top of that you wouldn't feel pain if I could bend them! How the heck can I win? If this is an attempt to get us to resolve the conflict through a game of Monopoly, you can stop right now. I'll let you start with Park Place and Boardwalk. If we go back to the match, I'll give you a free body slam. I'll give you a free body slam and Park Place and Boardwalk. Deal.

Insomniaman 23 by EvilZak 2-15-04

I'm the top hat. I'm the car. I love the car. 13 hours later I'm not getting tired, I'm Insomniaman! I'm not getting tired, I'm a robot! Well there goes my strategy. Draw? Okay, draw... wait, your strategy was to get a robot to sleep?

Insomniaman 24 by EvilZak 2-15-04

I might have let the bad guy get away, but at least I defended the citizens... THIS JUST IN: Local H&R block has collapsed killing many naked but innocent people inside. All my work to waste in one instant. How worse can this day get? Reportedly the collapse was caused by a motel being put on top of it.

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AFROMANS MOVE

Pretty good series. I liked it.

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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"