it is a well known fact that at one in the morning everything is funny. every single thing. JABBA THE HUTT WITH A MICKEY MOUSE HAT! see? that was utterly retarded and i just made myself laugh. anywho, my theory is that all i have to do is make all my comics at one in the morning and they will all be comedic gold. here is the beginning of this profound project:

My "It's Late and I'm Sleepy" Story (1) by TheNewSoup 3-05-04

dude, i'm in trouble. i went out to a singles bar last month and met this chick. we hit it off, and one thing led to another. then BAM, outta the blue she calls and tells me she's pregnant. what's the big deal? skip town and never call her again. i can't, dude. i have a house, wife and 4 kids. oh yeah. man, you're fucked.

My "It's Late and I'm Sleepy" Story (2) by TheNewSoup 3-05-04

later... hey man, has that chick you knocked up called you back yet? nope, i've been staying on the internet 24-7 in a desperate attempt to keep her from contacting me and letting my wife know. it didn't go quite the way I planned, though... you were looking at porn when your wife came into the room, huh? it wasn't even human porn. i can't figure out why she was so upset.

My "It's Late and I'm Sleepy" Story (3) by TheNewSoup 3-05-04

oh hey man. it's the middle of the night... what the hell are you doing here? i tried to fix that whole porn mess with my wife... i tried to make it up to her by getting her some porn as well. i take it that didn't go so well. that's why i brought my sleeping bag.

My "It's Late and I'm Sleepy" Story (4) by TheNewSoup 3-05-04

dude, thank you so much for letting me stay here until i can find another place. nah, you can just stay here as long as you need to. i'm hungry. mind if i scope out your fridge for some snacks? knock yourself out. why do you have so many socks in your freezer? i have socks in my freezer?

My "It's Late and I'm Sleepy" Story (5) by TheNewSoup 3-05-04

alright, here we go. i found a can of alphabet soup in your closet. where's your kitchen? kitchen? fuck that! i usually just use the cigarrette lighter on my neighbor's car. i'm gonna go find a hotel. your house is just... i dunno. i don't like it. MY house? the only part of this place I actually own is the walk-in closet.

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Legalize Love!

those got a giggle out of me. nice work, especially on the first two. "It wasn't even HUMAN porn!"

none of it made me laugh, but i recognized the humor. i saw it. i said, "look, there it is."

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i want to piss on you

I didn't laugh but I'll try reading them tonight at 1am and see if your theory pans out.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

My "It's Late and I'm Sleepy" Story (6) by TheNewSoup 3-19-04

at a hotel somewhere... no, i'm sorry, but we're all out of rooms. crap. i've already checked everywhere else, and they're all full too. damn tourist season. say, my shift ends in 10 minutes, what do you say we go somewhere? uh, sure. wanna go get coffee or something? nah, when we get back to my apartment we can have some in the morning. O_O;

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Legalize Love!

Netspeak and emoticons are insipid when put into comics, but the first five comics were pretty good. I like 'em. Get sleep often.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002