evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire
Member Rated:
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Agreed; you need some work. Some of your comics have funny bits at the beginning, but end badly because you don't know what to do anymore. In "Teenage Boys", the real punchline is on the left in the second panel. Don't feel like you have to use every dialogue bubble... if you've only got three lines, for example, put one in each panel.
Your Penny Arcade strips... I don't know what the deal is with them. They'd be unrecognizeable as jokes about PA if you hadn't told us they were supposed to be. Some of your other strips have the same problem... they seem to be making fun of something, but I can't figure out what it is. My advice is to think harder about what's funny about your subject before you start writing.
These comics show some wit:
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| What do you mean LOL? What is LOL? | |
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| What? What the hell is ROFL? | |
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| This is getting crazy now! What the hell do you mean by OMFG? | |
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| GAAAHHHH! I hate this place! | |
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| Hee-Hee! Giggle! WIERDO! Hee-heee! giggle | |
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| And I got a new mobile, and a bracelet, and another handbag, and a Winnie The Pooh teddy, and 6 mobile phone covers, 18 ringtones, 15 music CDs, 12 Busted posters, 9 calenders... | |
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| Wow, you certainly got a lot! | |
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| SHUT UP!!! I also got 7 keyrings, boy band DVDs, 16 Winnie the Pooh DVDs, a little blue bag, a little pink bag, a slightly larger white bag, 18 new mobile games, 23 new logos... | |
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| 676 Habbo Hotel Credits, Habbo Club Membership, a Hello Kitty bag, a fluffy puffy thing for my hamster, a new hamster cage, a hair straightener, hairdryer, loads of make-up... | |
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| You must have had a great Christmas then! | |
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| NO WAY! Where were my webcams, mobile phone camera, N-Gage (yes, N-Gage), 16 shampoos, conditioners, little blue mousemat, hair styler, anything with Babyliss on it!!! I HAD AN AWFUL CHRISTMAS! Sob... | |
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Both show good structure and end with an actual humorous punchline. The latter, in fact, is funny throughout.
Keep at it, and good luck. Oh, and don't rewrite your comics with your new account. Just put a link to the old account in your profile or favorites.
--- The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!
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