In my early days I had a terrible attempt at comedy - I have now tried to salvage this into something of a decent story...

First some background info -

Cuthbert #1 - The Pit by shark_energy 1-14-04

Cuthbert is trapped down the pit of endurance Its been 2 days now. I need to eat. I feel like I am going insane cutttthhhhberrrrrrrtttttt Eatttttt meeeeee! Eattttt meeeeeeeee! Sorry I'm a veggie

Don't moo for me Private Mickey by Shark_Energy 1-15-04

The Final Days of World War 3... This war has been a waste of life. Pure and simple. I love you Daisy. Mi muv moo too mickey But Then... DAISY! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I was sad at first about Daisy's death, but I say - Don't cry over spilt milk And besides, after 5 years of crap rations - Daisy was the sweetest T Bone I ever had

Redundancies at Shark Energy HQ by shark_energy 2-02-04

Inside the office of Shark Energy, Cartoons are nervously gathered... At the end of the day, you haven't got me any laughs, I have decided to fire all of your sorry asses... Except for Felix, Big Dave, Jesus, Suzi, and various others. In fact, its just you two, Mickey and Cuthbert, that are shite. And now redundant. In the car park... So what now? Well I have 2 options...I can pimp my own ass, or I can pimp your sorry ass, and if you don't want me to take a chunk out of that skinny frame of yours I suggest you go with the latter...Bitch

Mickey and Cuthbert - On the game #1 by shark_energy 2-03-04

Cuthbert was busy laying down the ground rules to Mickey Now remember the deal...I get 90% of the takings, you get 10% and lunch money. Stick to 54th through to the Green District for clients ok? Uh...yeh...sure And of course, the magic rule...NO females. You can only service male clients...Got that? But why? I don't understand why I can't escort the ladies? Because I'm a bastard, and you're my bitch. Yes Sir.

Mickey And Cuthbert #2 by shark_energy 4-26-04

3 Months after the deal was struck... How is the rectal tearing coming along? I have you booked in for a 4:30 and there is no way we are cancelling on this one! But Cuthbert, I mean King Pimp, I just can't do it anymore. In last 2 seconds I have lost another centimetre of ass flesh... No butts Mickey, you are meeting with this client, nothing will change my mind. Ermmm well what if I was to tell you I am in love with your sister and she is pregnant with your nephew? I'd rip your spine out for screwing around with my sister... Well its lucky I'm just messing then hehe. Pass me the vaseline

Mickey and Cuthbert #3 by shark_energy 4-26-04

Right you see that barn over there? I told him you will be in the hay loft. Go get ready and I will send him straight up when he arrives... Yes Boss I can't believe I am in this mess! Being pimped by an ex work colleague, got his sister pregnant, bum flesh hanging out of my butt yet about to take some more pain... Moo! Daisy! What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since Shark Energy sacked you for spilling milk on his moleskin shoes! Glad to see you old chum! Mi muv moo Mickey etc

Mickey and Cuthbert #4 by shark_energy 4-26-04

Meanwhile outside Gloria! What are you doing here? I am here to stop you pimping my Mickey's ass Cuthbert. You see...I am pregnant...by Mickey! I'LL KILL HIM! No rentboy of mine screws my baby sister and lives to tell the tale...Where are going? To warn Mickey! Milk me mickey But I have found love elsewhere Daisy. I just can't...Oh what the heck. For old times sake. But just a small squirt.

Mickey and Cuthbert #5 by shark_energy 4-26-04

Meanwhile outside *MILK MILK* Mickey I...WHAT IS THIS? Get your hands off of that whore! I'm gonna kill that he bitch! Outside the barn... This must be the place! Ima shooting for a rooting.

Mickey and Cuthbert #6 by shark_energy 4-26-04

INSERT INCORRECT NARRATION HERE It isn't what you think Gloria! It's over Mickey, and now I will leave you to my brother, your pimp, you filthy man What the? Run Daisy! Moo! Who the?

Mickey and Cuthbert #7 by Shark_Energy 4-26-04

Back Inside the Barn Who the hell is this ugly he bitch Cuthbert? I wanted some young white ass, not some genetically fucked up bunny wabbit How dare he! How dare he make me wish to die! Get him oh brother of mine A gunfight ensues Later that evening This is the life Daisy! Looking up at the stars on a warm summers night...Say, can you smell Steak? Moo!

I will conclude this poor series in due course! Back to work hurrah!

Mickey and Cuthbert #8 by Shark_Energy 4-26-04

Cuthbert! It's you! How did you find us? A dragon has a very good sense of smell. I have been looking forward to this. The client you blew out went mad, killed my sister, but I managed to kill him in return, and now i've cooked your cow. We must settle this like men. I hate you, you hate me. We have valid grudges against each other. I agree 100 percent Mickey. But let us first have some steak, we need our energy.

Mickey and Cuthbert #9 by shark_energy 4-26-04

And so it begins! I karate chop you on the neck. I stamp on your testicles. I apply an uppercut to your chin and follow with a kick to the sternum. I gouge at your eyes, trip you on the floor and sit on your head. I grow tired of your obvious dirty fighting style, break out a can of gasoline, pour it onto your head and flick a match. I journey to hell, defeated, yet open for a return depending on series popularity.

Mickey and Cuthbert #10 by shark_energy 4-26-04

A short lived victory celebration... But I have done no wrong! It was self defence! That's what they all say. I think the corpses of a cow, dragon, mutated bunny and black pimp is enough to put you down for a good number of years. 1 Month later I've dropped some soap again. Ready for another round of the cornhole classics? I'll let you have the back 9 this time. Do I even have a choice? "Lights out gentlemen please" Sweet jesus! Somebody kill me! Gahhhhhh! FIN!

The End!

I'd appreciate all opinions. I realise straight off the bat that this isn't a LOL punchline at the end of each strip series - But I was trying to give an interesting, weird and slightly humour filled story.

those made me laugh so hard i shot semen out of my nose

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BEER BEER IS GOOD FOR THE HEART, THE MORE YOU DRINK THE MORE YOU ZZZZZZZZZZ...